plengefeld
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Name: Philip
Birthday: 5/7/1986
Gender: Male


Interests: God, soccer, music (playing and listening), girls, watching the Bengals, sports in general, playing video games, uhhhhh...
Expertise: Goalkeeping for soccer and Bass guitar. I plan on learning how to play banjo too once i buy one!
Occupation: Student


Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM: yellowjacket777
AIM: plengefeld
Yahoo: super_goalie_86


Member Since: 9/2/2004

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Blogrings
One Way
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Cedarville's HILL
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* Cedarville University *
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give me your tots!!!
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I'm going to take over the world when I grow up.
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Gary Burns Fan Club
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Bro/sis
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MUNC
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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Well, today proved to be an exciting one.  Full of firsts, I guess you could say!  I had my first car wreck, first mohawk, first time maintaining a speed of under 25 mph in my sister's mustang, first time being escorted around an airport by my dad (a manager there. It felt pretty cool to walk around with him lol), first time I got asked if I was okay by at least 10 strangers (people i work with, apparently), and the first time (and last, I think) that I heard my mom say she was okay with me singing the national anthem in the center of town (8000 people in my town) with my mohawk while representing my church!  Pretty cool day minus the wreck:)


Saturday, May 05, 2007

Cold

I'm not one to ask for help, but I must.

I find myself slipping into a black abyss. I can feel icy hands tearing at my heart and freezing the core of me. There is no escape from this place. How did I fall this far? Joy has been stripped from me, and despair has swollen up in its place. I cry out to God to save me; to take my life from me, but he refuses. I can’t confide in anyone, else I risk dragging them into this pit along with me.  Why continue on though? Each day is a struggle.  I’ve lived 21 years now and can remember about that many deaths of family members and friends. How many more will be lost before I can enjoy life like a normal person?  Day after day presents more suffering, and it’s as if the pain is an unquenchable fire. No.  A fire would provide some warmth.  I find myself completely cold.  More than once I’ve wished I could carve out my heart to escape from  the dull ache of existence. Day by day the sight of oncoming delivery trucks becomes sweeter and sweeter.  I try to convince myself that God is just breaking me down to fill me up again, but I don’t know how much more breaking can be done. I just want to sleep.  My dreams are the one place where I can escape my daily decay, but now even they have been infected.  I feel more and more tired, but sleep grows more and more difficult.  Death, especially with heaven on the other side, sounds beautiful.

Please, if you’re reading this, just pray.  I don’t want to talk.


Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Bad End of Semester

I just found out another friend died, this time in service to our country.  Finals have lost their feeling of significance. Treasure your relationships. You never know when they'll end.

Please keep the friends and family of Zach Gullett in your prayers, and remember all of the soldiers we have worldwide who continue to risk their lives.


Sunday, April 29, 2007

Reputation, work, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, family, fun, desires, goals, achievement, happiness, acceptance, and life itself are infinitely less important than God, who holds complete control over the destination of your soul.  Really, they dont add up to jack squat in comparison.  It would be good to remember this whenever you’re faced with difficult decisions.

Obviously enjoy all of those things, but not to the point that they blind you to what's really important in regards to eternity.


Friday, April 27, 2007

O Lord, the God who saves me,

day and night I cry out before you.

May my prayer come before you;

turn your ear to my cry.

 

For my soul is full of trouble

and my life draws near the grave. 

I am counted among those who go down to the pit;

I am like a man without strength.

I am set apart with the dead,

like the slain who lie in the grave,

whom you remember no more,

who are cut off from your care.

 

You have put me in the lowest pit,

in the darkest depths.

Your wrath lies heavily upon me;

You have overwhelmed me with all your waves.


You have taken from me my closest friends

and have made me repulsive to them.

I am confined and cannot escape;

my eyes are dim with grief.

 

I call to you, O Lord, every day;

I spread out my hands to you.

Do you show your wonders to the dead?

Do those who are dead rise up and praise you?


Is your love declared in the grave,

your faithfulness in Destruction ?

Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,

or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

 

But I cry to you for help, O Lord;

in the morning my prayer comes before you.

Why, O Lord, do you reject me

and hide your face from me?

 

From my youth I have been afflicted and close to death;

I have suffered your terrors and am in despair.

Your wrath has swept over me;

your terrors have destroyed me.

All day long they surround me like a flood;

they have completely engulfed me.

You have taken my companions and loved ones from me;

the darkness is my closest friend.



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