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Friday, July 25, 2008

  • We talked on the phone
    We usually talk late at night
    But since I've been gone
    You've changed
    I noticed in the tone of your voice
    A change

    Your voice always brought me
    A sense of comfort, protection
    I wanted you

    Your escape from pain
    Was the bittersweet revenge
    And it brought you happiness
    Revealing your true colors

    You left him feeling as low
    As he did when he left you
    You told me that you loved him
    But if you really did then why
    would you do that?

    My ex was cruel and malicious
    Toward me, bruising me with
    His fists and words
    But I never did anything
    Hurtful toward him,
    Even after all of that

    And it breaks my heart
    To see your change
    In your high off your betrayal

    Your not the sweet, compassionate
    Beautiful man that I once knew
    I would have fallen in love with you
    But you're somebody else now
    I don't know you anymore

    It hurts but I'm not going
    To talk to you anymore
    I would rather live in
    Rememberance of the person
    You once were rather then
    Watch you become the guy
    You vowed you wold never be like

    Your mood is 180 degrees happy
    You've achieved your revenge
    He's crying and screaming
    Without a shoulder to lean on
    You've beat him, you took everything
    Away from him
    You won, you destructive fool

    Go fuck, be with all the guys
    You want, be confident
    I don't wanna care anymore

Friday, July 11, 2008

  • Our bodies in close distance
    Hands wandering
    Hope igniting
    My touch on your face
    Clearing the tears that fell
    When secrets confessed
    Which kept you in your prison
    With wishes you knew would
    Never come true
    You telling me how you felt
    And I listening, always listening
    My brown eyes staring into your blue eyes
    That change tinted colors
    And I hoped, and I prayed for you
    To make it another day
    And to see a knew light
    I wanted to love you
    Even though I was just someone
    Who listened, a friend I was and am
    But that night, could you tell?
    Could you tell how I had felt all along?
    Did you thought that you felt what I felt?
    Probably not, but I hoped, and I always did
    Just the way that you always hoped he would
    Even though he hurt you, causing your already
    Bruised soul to fall harder then before
    But you're strong, stronger then you believed
    And I wanted to help, I hope that I helped you
    I wanted to see you happy and I wanted to make
    You feel loved
    As much as I wish I was
    Maybe I wasn't the right person
    But I wanted to be in your life more then anything
    Because you needed a positive, motivating force
    And on that last day before I left, when after everything
    Between you and him and me and him and you and me
    Was said and done, when we split that cigarette
    And reminisced about times we shared
    Because you were the only other guy who I connected with
    On a deep and personal level
    With our broken pasts, broken hearts
    I hope that you saw in my eyes what I saw in you all along
    And I wonder even now if you think about me
    And I hope that you feel more then the nothing he said you were
    Or when he took you back
    You can do better then him, better then me
    But you didn't even realize
    How beautiful you are
    I miss you
    And it hurt to see you crying in the rain
    And I hope that someday you will feel alive again
    And live up to your fullest potential
    And find a love that will last


Thursday, July 10, 2008

  • This summer has been a pretty good break so far but I have to confess that I really miss my school and the people there, especially my lit babies! When I came to Perpich I met some of the most talented, incredible individuals and there I made wonderful friendships. I miss those friends, like Whitney, my other half, who helped me during hard times; Ema, my crazy, fun amigo who knows who she is and inspired me so much, I don't know what I would do without her and I can't wait to be reunited with her again this upcoming year; Jackie, the sweetest girl I have ever met who took the time to listen to me when I needed someone; Azania, the first close friend I had at Perpich and my daily walking buddy; Cecelia, the hilarious one of a kind individual who I shared many good times with; Charlie, the only guy this year who actually interested me because he was so different from anybody I ever knew, he swept me off my feet, and he knew it, he is beautiful on the inside out and i wish him the absolute best, he deserves the best; Kayley, the one who always reminded me to stay true to myself and be who I am instead of trying to impress everybody. I love her so much and she inspires me everyday and I feel so blessed to have her in my life, I feel blessed to have these friends who have showed me so much and taught me so much about myself and the world and love and life. I've met and made friendships with other amazing individuals last year and all I can say is that I'm very excited for this year at Perpich because I'll not only get to be with a lot of these people again, but I'll have the opportunity to meet new people. I want to have fun this year, I want to have a good time even though I'll be stressing about college applications and other work. I want to make the most of life and live it to the absolute fullest and not let people's negative energy put me down.
    I'm going to stay true to myself and love the people who took the time to care.

    "Life doesn't always turn out to be your fantasy, that's why you need friendships that are real to get you through it all."
    - Carrie Bradshaw
  • You with your blue eyes
    Me with my brown eyes.
    Us, once blessed and together
    Until you wouldn't stay
    I always knew you would leave
    But I hoped for a stay
    For our happy ending...

    I'm trying to stay positive
    And get through these times
    But Moody skies and memories
    Still drop me back
    To the ground
    But I'm trying to climb these walls
    And the barriers that bind me
    And keep me down

    Too many tears have fallen from
    These brown eyes, but I can't stop
    And I don't know if I ever will
    Because I gave you a piece of my heart
    That I'll never have back

    It's been over a year and I still love you
    But you're with him now
    In your cozy apartment together
    And in love
    But I'm not
    I'm here, stuck in this place that you and I
    Shared together for a year together
    When we were in love
    When we were happy
    When we had each other
    When I didn't want anything else

    No one cares about me
    No one does.
    I know I'm ugly
    But I wish you would love me again
    Because I think it's all I need to feel
    Alive again.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

  • I want to get out of Minnesota, away from him and the past that haunts me.

    I want to start over somewhere new and live again, along with loving who I am.

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