Men are eternally misbegotten beings. I can think of no more foul things to say about such vile creatures.

*edit*

But further, women are minipulative fiends fully intent upon frustrating everyone else's plans just in order to get their way.

I cannot wait to get away from the people I know are fine examples of such behavior. Why must women act this way? Why must men fall prey to it? Why must I suffer at all their hands? Nevertheless, I must console myself with the education I will be getting at TAC, despite the population's deep-seated retarded problems. How is anyone to maintain their integrity with such people manipulating their lives? I must get free of such things, I have fallen prey, even as I am, to the whims of imbeciles, and I berate myself for it.

I must make myself even more impenetrable than before, and what is more, I believe there is poetry of mine somewhere which needs amendments from feelings based on generalizations given to all, and not properly appropriated to each gender as they err.

This is only something I wrote in my head and could only remember pieces of when I sat to write.

Now do kiss the thorny lips of pride
and try your scary soul to hide
with evil wiles to make a nest
and cover up all the rest
for all good men, do, make a bed
where all such come, be pricked and dead.
Swallow now with mouth grown wide
All those who heard your thoughts be-lied
For though you make your flaws unknown
It is in hiding the sun, the moon eclipsed is shown.
And stars are caught in thicket deep of thorn
Where lies deceit and evil born
So kiss and tear the waiting lips to bleed
No more your weary tale to heed.
While drops of blood to pavement thunder
There is no shade to cover under.

from Richard III, Shakespeare

"But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks
Nor made to court an amorous looking glass...

.............since I cannot prove a lover
to entertain these fair, well-spoken days
I am determined to prove a villian
And hate the idle pleasures of these days."

Which is more dastardly than I feel, but certain harm may be done to evil, no? Not to mention, I am in vindictive mood, and thus my words may not match my future actions, but venting doth a wild heart crave.

     Yesh! Leave it to my mom to take an already sore topic, rip the scab off and rub ash in it. We had a nice awkward conversation filled with circumlocutions about if I was "talking" to any guys. She brought up Sam and I mentioned how wonderful his girlfriend problems are. She brought up Josh and asked if he was any closer to not being an atheist, I declined to say he was dating Amy and shrugged an "I don't know". Then out of desperation she asked if I was talking to anyone, which I think in circumlocutions implies in the men department, and I answered that I wasn't. She was shocked and said "Well that's not good." or some odd such nonesense, to which I rather bitterly responded that there is no one worth talking to.

     In this respect, she's no better than those silly homeschool girls I used to hang out with, and this is all probably the reason I get so uptight about such things, because my mother raised me to get married and nothing more. A fact I bemoan everyday. 

     Nevertheless, I also left out the very slight communication I've made with Patrick and Blaise this summer, which mostly dies because I don't reply or they don't. Its not worth anything, very likely.

     I am highly sick of other people pushing their agendas on me. I will feel as I please, I will do as I please and if I'm not converting people or getting married, that's because I don't want to. And it's not that I never want to get married, its that there is plenty of things I want to do, and they must happen before marriage. I'm sorry I'm not making grandbabies yet, but tough luck, get your other sons a-marrying.

Well, I am back on campus, but in denile about it. I'll be leaving again Saturday to go home for a couple of days; I start work again Tuesday.

My trip with Sarah to San Diego went fine. After much poking and prodding about when and how we were going to leave, Sarah and I decided to leave Friday right after work. It took much more prodding to make Joe decide if he was coming or not: he did not. We got a courier to drive us to the Oxnard train station, and took the amtrak down to SD; we were picked up around 1 o'clock by Patrick and driven back to his house in Alpine.

Saturday the three of us went to Balboa park and walked around. We went into a free botanical garden, which was beautiful and interesting, and an art muesum with a small, but nice assortment of art from several countries.  We went to Sushi for lunch at a very nice restaurant and had Patrick's favorite eel sushi (not bad, but strange). After that we went to a very large Asian market and looked at the odd assortment of fresh fish, dead fish, fish-flavored snack foods, and whatever else have you that Asians for some reason use in cooking. We found one product in a bag labled "Big gluten balls" and were absolutely tickled. We then went home, where Patrick made an absolutely delicious dinner for us of lemon chicken. We sat around on his back porch for a while, trying to convince Sarah to go swimming with us in the pool, to no avail. So myself, Patrick, his sisters Amelia and Miriam, and his brother Evan swam around for a while, splashing Sarah. Then we watched Kung Fu Panda, which was rather funny, and Sarah and I went to bed in the guest house.

Sunday we were going to go to Patrick's church (Byzantine) but we were planning on going to Julian which was an hour in the wrong direction, so we went to this TINY church in Descanso and then spent the day in Julian. We had coffe at a cute little cafe and talked, then looked at various clothing, jewlery, gem and knife stores. It was a hot day, so then we got popcicles and sat down outside of the general store to eat them. After some sort of dinner I don't remember at all, we went kyaking in the lake near Pat's house. His paddle broke and so Sarah and I went to the end of the lake then back. Then the three of us went swimming in the lake. Then we went home, where we went swimming in the pool. After that, Pat made some delicious mango sticky rice and we watched an anime, "Howl's Moving Castle" (I think twas the name), then listened to the audio book pat and I started back in finals week.

Monday Patrick dropped us off at the Walmart in Lakeside were Sarah and I shopped and waited for my cousin Kristen to pick us up. We were to spend the rest of our time at my aunts house. After an odd dinner (furnished by sarah and me, random food from Vons, including lots of hummus), we went to see a movie. The movie we originally intended to see was not playing because the projector broke, so we bought tickets for Get Smart at a later time and walked around the quickly closing mall. In the mall we found a "Christian punk" store named "Not of This World" were we found ourselves entrapped by one of their male employees telling my cousin Kristen how he had no friends who were girls to go see movies with. He also asked our religion and proceeded to tell us how bad priests are, which ticked me off because people are bad people, not just priests. Kristen pointed out that our cousin is a priest and that shut him up very well. After a while he let us go, and we continued to loop the mall. We stopped in an pet shop, were we say plenty of rather cute animals, one of which peed on the window in Kristen's direction in response to "oh, you're such a cute doggy!" We then saw Get Smart, which I enjoyed a lot (except for the fact that Anne Hathaway is apparently looking for "older" characters to act as), then we went home.

Well, I'll give the second installment of the rest of the week some time later, I'm tired of writting in this bloody boring, text-book style manner, and so much happened.

                                          ....to be continued.

Have you ever had that feeling when you hang on someone's every word? Can you describe the feeling you get when you've been away from them for any amount of time? I don't know, I don't know.

Heffy, don't worry about me, I was trying out a different diet and it didn't really work, so I think it made me more depressed than usual. Its nothing new, just harder to shake.