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| WellI've pretty much given up on writing. I just can't do it, other than an odd snippet here or there. I haven't updated in ages. I don't know why. Lots of things have happened. Me going on a date with a boy I didn't even really know [you can only imagine how great THAT turned out], me going to a retreat for a week and deciding to one day be a missionary, me having lots of mixed feelings about some of my male friends - all that fun stuff. Everything has been very interesting - and I find it funny. I was hanging out with one of my friends yesterday and we were just talking and he said, "Jeez you seem different. You can't have changed that much just from the retreat." that was a curious thing, i don't think i as a person have "changed" - i've just become more aware of God. [this has to be killing joe right now lol] we were in barnes and nobel later and he handed me this coaster thing and said here svet this should be good for you - and what does it say on it? "For God so loved the world etc. John 3:16" hahaha of all the things that he could have handed to me. but, i like that. im a little less afraid to correct people's language - at least when its one on one and idk. i haven't "changed." im just...me. :] And I learned a lot of great things on the retreat and thought I would type it out here. Once I hit 2 pages though, I thought it was a tad too long. But if you're curious, just ask [and it shall be given haha] | | |
| Green. Claws, and snarls. Tears. Salt, curious taste. Smiles. Sunshine? I don't think so. Laughter...cracks glass. And there go the pieces. Falling to the ground. Gravity wont hold up your dreams. | | |
| So I was taking a walk today and listening to my ipod. I was just thinking bout things, as I tend to do, and this idea came into my mind so I wipped out my cell phone and wrote it down in my notes lol This is what I put, "Life is not an enemy. It can be. But it was created to be our friend. A friend we can walk beside, hand in hand." It makes sense to me. This is how I see life. It's sad that we can get so messed up that life becomes an enemy. It makes me sad that I once was and at times am still messed up enough to see it as an enemy. But every day is a new day, and I always try my best to think that it will be better than the last. Most of the time it is. | | |
| idkI don't really have anything to say. I'm extremly tired of school. This whole past week it has taken my mom screaming at me to get me out of bed. I want the summer to be here so I can just relax. Life has just been life. I've been kind of blah. As my doctor would ask on a scale of 1-10, where am I? 5 or 6ish. Which would be considered bad. :[ But I'm ok. Not bad, not good. But ok. And that should be good enough right? | | |
| ReverbReverb is the name of a conference my Church/Youth Group help this weekend. It was only two days...but still quite amazing. :] So Friday...wasn't going too great. I was pretty much ready to get away from my parents asap. So we got there and we just walked around and did crazy stuff for about 30 minutes. Then the thing actually started and given it started off kind of...blah-ish it got better. We played a silly game and then this group of three guys [http://www.321improv.com/home/] came up and did some improv, and they were great. They were so funny, they had me smiling till my cheeks hurt and laughing till I cried haha Then Blake came on. In case you don't know anything about Blake...well he's amazing. As I told my friends - he's like my true love [in a spiritual way] XD He was the speaker at my first Fall Retreat who opened my heart and helped me make the decision to become a Christian. So this was all about Echoing God. And hmm...I've pretty much been "dead" so to speak. Even though I've gotten through the depression and am now on medication, I still carried around that fear, that shame, that guilt. And it was eating at me. I didn't fully realize this until yesterday, but I made the choice of putting my faith in my God [who loves me, for some unknow reason to me, enough to put himself in my body so I can be a vessel of his great love. He who died FOR ME.] and just letting go of all of that pain, fear, shame and finally setting myself free in the Lord. It was amazing. It involved a lot of crying on my part lol but I was glad. I haven't cried in a long time for God and I don't want my heart to get calloused and no longer break for my amazing God. I cant tell you how wonderful the feeling of freedom was. | | |
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