| | I feel the need to point out that my last post came way before Dave Barry's Holiday Gift Guide. I am not linking to the Holiday Gift Guide on his site because I am jealous and lazy.
Whatever. So I graduate in May with dual majors in Aviation Pro-Pilot and Aviation Management. "Dual" majors are better than a "double major" because it means I get two diplomas, as if I had gone to college twice. SWEET FREAKIN DEAL, RIGHT?
The majority of the role models in my life have spent years and years getting their masters/doctorates/multiple degrees in Everything Under The Sun, and you know what? I'm totally right there with them at the ripe age of 22! Take that, role models! Looks like you need to go back to school if you want me to keep idolizing you.
What's that? 40 years of experience at life? A fine flock of children to carry on your legacy? Yeah, well, uh... Yeah? Well, I fly planes. Yeah.
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Anyway, I'm flying to Virginia this weekend for a North American Cup fencing tournament, and I'll be fighting against the top women saberists in the nation. It's officially creeping me out because there are 79 of us, and everyone has a cooler name than I do. Like Aiuto or Franciszowicka or D'Asaro. Suddenly my theory that the weirder your name is, the better you are at fencing hits home because "Latimer" has an unfortunately appropriate number of vowels for all of its syllables. Also, there are no punctuation marks or spaces to offset that fact, so you are definitely looking at the little fish in the big pond now.
I need a confidence-boosting, international-sounding, fencing name.
L'Atimer
LaTimer
Guatimer
Latizowski
Zlatimer
Latimernik
Latimer-Chowski
Lasdasdlkjgasdkjgasdfgasdkgasdklgj
Any of these will do. Of course, I will have to wait to get the name change done because those legal things cost money, and I already spent all of mine on the DAMN PLANE TICKET. I'm eating Ramen noodles and cardboard, people. If anybody out there is rich, I promise I will tattoo your name on my forehead if you will sponsor me for the Olympics.
I really want to sell business jets for a living, in case you were wondering, but I might end up going regional airlines so I can deadhead on airline flights across the country for free to support my fencing addiction. Impossible life! That should be my motto. |
| | Posted 12/3/2007 1:29 AM - 43 views - 2 comments
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