pray14me's Xanga

Agitated, Irritable, Hostile, Agressive, Impulsive, Restless

Wed, 14 May 2008 23:22:33 GMT

Yes, I borrowed that headline from an article that I found to be mis-leading, but whatever. This has been my life on so many levels. I swear, I promise... I am not ignoring you, I just can't write, I don't know what to say. I promise I will write.... I promise, I promise, I promise...

Peace, Love and Energy,
Tricia

Life Since April 19th...

Sat, 03 May 2008 10:53:32 GMT

The last time I posted to Xanga was April 19th..., I should have said, "I am going on HIATUS", but it wasn't planned. Life has just been super busy, so yeah. Let me see what has happened since then.

Son announced he will stay in New York for the summer. Guess he is a New Yorker now.
I went and saw Hank Williams Jr. and he was actually good and sober.
Tiger Woods came in second at the Masters and has not played since because of knee surgery.
Obama has been having a heck of a time and Jeremiah Wright is not helping.
CPS picked up over a 400 children at a Polygamist Sect here in Texas... of those many of the young girls were pregnant, only in Texas.
My dear sweet Aunt Pat died - cancer.
Spring has come and gone.
My nephew got suspended from school, and wrote a short story.
Sallie Mae has harassed me endlessly about my student loan, that I just can't afford to pay right now. I plan to, honestly.
Yesterday, during our state mandated TAKS test we had to go to the inner parts of the building because a tornado was spotted.
I watched Super Size Me and Fast Food Nation and have sworn off all fast food, at least for now.

I am sure I have left something out. I mean after all it is Cinco de Mayo weekend. I don't have any plans, just going to hang out around the house and clean a bit.

Peace, Love and Energy,
Tricia

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 22:52:50 GMT

I am and have been supery, dupery busy with school stuff, kid stuff and life in general. I don't know why I can't find any extra time, but I think it is a good thing that I am so busy. Hope you guys won't forget me, and will understand that I probably can't be around until summer. I like this quote... the one below the picture. I have had a couple of people say they don't get it. So, here is my take- life begins in mystery. We don't know really how it happened, the planet, the earth, life in general and when it ends, we certainly don't know what lies beyond. I mean we know what has been promised, but have no true idea of what it will be like, it is a mystery. We can only contemplate what we think life is like beyond this one... we really don't know, how could we? Everything in the middle is gravy, right?

It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between.
~ Diane Ackerman

Peace, Love and Energy,
Tricia

Random thoughts on tradition...

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 19:26:50 GMT

Featured Grownup Post:

random thoughts on tradition

lying in the cool grass,
what is that i see in the clouds?
could it be a young bonnie lass?

see the prism, painted rainbow,
is there a pot of gold,
way behind those trees so low?

meet you at the magical fortress,
the tree house we secretly built,
from old boards mind you, not trash.

may i have some more,
can i be excused dad,
i'll be home before your snores.

crayons, glue and scissors,
rainy day fun,
mom always has an answer.

bedtime it is,
brother and sister are tucked in,
no fears of the sandman sis.

you should never tell a lie,
pinnochio's nose you'll find
or bumps on the tongue, don't try.

sunday morning, cramped on the pew,
stiff collars, hell-fire and brimstone heat,
not to mention the pinching new shoe.

fried chicken, gravy and rice,
quiet after sunday dinner,
grandpa and daddy share advice.

hot august dives in the lake,
summertime friends,
a needed school time break.

fish fries at uncle melvin's house,
horseshoes clang,
my uncles not at all like a mouse.

a walk to the local store,
soda and bubblegum,
twenty-five cents, not more.

christmas has come and gone,
it is not about the gift,
it is about the love born.

march winds blow,
kite flying in the
empty, grassy field we go.

easter eggs in a basket full,
spring arrives,
the earth is new and bountiful.

traditions are built,
from unconditional love,
it comes free of guilt.

the rite of passage,
from innocence to strife,
smart becomes silly; old sage.

when tradition is past,
we sit idly by,
wondering how and what we lost.

tradition is our comfort,
in youth and in age, but
these are only words from one whose time is short.

~ Tricia

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 12:49:18 GMT

Wouldn't it be lovely if I posted here everyday. Do you ever go back and look over your old post? I did that yesterday... I discovered that half of them I couldn't read, because I had changed my font to white, but did not change my backgrounds. I started trying to change some of those, but alas, the task proved to large for my patience. I also did some yard work and played Scabulous. Mostly, I accomplished nothing... so I am going to post today and then go do laundry, pay bills, grade papers and well, we will see about all that. That is my plan.

Charlton Heston is dead. I remember him as a much younger man, and then of course for his tirades in support of the NRA. Well at least he was passionate about something. He also worked with the homeless in Los Angeles, so he was probably a pretty nice guy. In his last days, like Ronald Reagan he suffered from Alzheimers... that dreaded disease that robs you of all your memories and self identity.

Charlton Heston
October 4, 1924 - April 5, 2008

I have been interested in doing the Featured Grown Up post for this month, but I don't know... I have some thoughts rattling around in my brain. Maybe tonight I will get them down. Last night Skooter and I watched Atonement. It was pretty good, you know how someone builds a movie up until you are expecting something great. Well, I think that is what happened with this movie. I was expecting more, anyway, I know I should have read the book first. I noticed that Kite Runner is out on DVD, but Skooter hasn't read it, and I have already heard that they leave out a couple of major parts, so I will wait until he reads it. Tonight we are going to watch No Country for Old Men. There are so many new movies out, and so little time.

Sailing to Byzantium

THAT is no country for old men. The young
In one another's arms, birds in the trees
- Those dying generations - at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.

An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.

O sages standing in God's holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.
~ William Butler Yeats

Until later...

Peace, Love and Energy,
Tricia

Monday, March 31, 2008

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 20:50:49 GMT

So, Monday has come and gone. I made myself a promise that I wouldn't leave my weekend post up for the entire week... that doesn't mean that I am going to say anything earth shattering. It made me very happy that so many of you responded to my Earth Hour message, and let me know that you are helping out, each of you in your own little ways.

This morning on a syndicated radio show they discussed the death of myspace, and the emergence of Facebook as the new social networking site. Xanga was mentioned as if it were ancient history... basically dead. I wanted to call that radio show and give them a piece of my mind, but then I thought, no - we are like a secret, happy subculture that the rest of the world has forgot and I like that. If you know me well, you know that I have a Facebook, a myspace, a Bebo, a Live Blog and on and on and on..., but no where else do I have the camaraderie that I have on Xanga. I love all of you so much. I am glad that the riff raff has moved on. I think the cream has risen to the top as far as Xanga is concerned.

Today was a pretty good day. The kids were happy, my tenth graders started Julius Caesar. Of all of Shakespeare's work, I probably dislike Julius the most, but it is required... I thought of secretly doing Midsummer's Night Dream or Much Ado About Nothing, but I don't have time to be a rebel right now. So, we will stab poor Julius in the back, well, I don't know about the poor Julius part, and then we will read as all of those evil conspirators are justifiably punished and of course it will end as all tragedies - with certain death. Yippie, ki ai ay! Does anybody know how to spell that? I left the expletive out.

Spring is definitely sprung. We are in the midst of scary weather time. Right now, it is very yellow outside. Not sunny yellow, but eerie yellow... like to the East it is pitch black and to the west it is sunny, and I know somewhere out there is a rainbow, but here in the middle it is yellow. It was about this time of the year when the tornado hit in Fort Worth, back in the day, when I worked in Fort Worth. I miss Fort Worth..., yikes - focus Trish, really.

Well that's enough chit chat... I may be out of town this weekend. There is a possibility of BB King tickets... so maybe I will be at a concert.

Peace, Love and Energy,
Tricia

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
~ Philippians 4:8

Earth Hour and Time

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:24:28 GMT

Earth Hour:

Google has gone all black for Earth Hour even though they say it actually saves no money... and so I have followed suit. I actually rarely turn the lights on when I am home alone during the day, and I turned the air off even though the pollen drifting through my windows have caused my eyes to swell and itch, and the old nostrils to flare. I really believe that small things like this make a difference, if in no other way than to raise awareness of the need to take care of our small planet, to love it and embrace it. I know I am still a silly dreamer, even at 46. Even though I deeply love my dear cajun, timber friends, I cringe every time they say there is no such thing as Global Warming. I am sorry, I know the earth has been in constant change since its conception, but humans are certainly influencing what is happening, and wastefulness is wrong. There are so many self indulgent human acts that it is little wonder that our economy and environment is in the mess it is.

We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
~Native American Proverb

In the News:

As I scrolled through today's news stories, as I usually do on Saturday morning... to ensure deep, dark, depression, I ran across an article about this man in New Hampshire who stated in court this week that he sexually abused a minor because he had been sexually abused by Big Foot as a child. My rolling chair was rocking for a good five minutes as I rolled in laughter... oh my... what has the human race become... even funnier, his lawyer says he believes him. Alrighty then..., glad it wasn't my child he abused, because I know Big Foot, he's from the south, and I would send him right over to put his big foot up this ignorant man's ARSE! We would be opening up a big ole can of "whoop ass" as my loving brother in law would say.

Is Big Foot a sexual offender?

Personal Pet Peeves and the Passage of Time:

Small talk aggravates me and as I get older I am more appalled at the things we say out of some bizarre habit. I know I overthink words..., and I really do appreciate that Southern folks make a point of speaking, but don't say ignorant things. Say "hello"... it is good manners to speak when you see someone you know. You can say "How are you?" but only if you really have time to find out... "Good Day" I don't know say something positive. Don't bum me out with, "another day, another dollar spent" or "one day closer to death"... say something positive... why not say something encouraging? How much energy does it take to smile and say hello. Honestly, life is short, which is why I have begun to dread the end of school passing comments. Among the thing you hear as a teacher this time of year is "only eight more weeks" or something of that nature. Only eight more weeks to what? Eight more weeks closer to death? Mind you, I am not so afraid of death, but I am tired of wishing my life away, I am not wishing for another summer, just so I can do what? It has come to the point that I can't remember students I had my first year as a teacher..., and I want to remember their names. Each year I make acquaintances with 120 - 160 new people, and I only have nine short months with them, and then they are gone. Yeah, occasionally they pop in and say hello, but mostly that is it... as I grow older this becomes sadder to me. I think of them, going away to college, having families, getting on with life, and me getting older and more alone. We don't know how much time we have, doesn't it seem silly to wish it away. I wish that the day was longer, the year longer, that I could have 36 years with my child instead of 18, that the reckless abandon and wonder of childhood could last longer... and that I could have more time to spend with my family and friends. Does that make sense? I don't know, I just now that when I say, "OH BOY, I can't wait until summer", I am wishing away more time... and summer will fly like everyone before it. So, I am not in a big hurry for summer, in fact I am frightened at how rapidly it is approaching. Alas, if only I could have known... old people really are smart, I should have listened more, and now I am in that conundrum, where I am the old person with no one listening to me. Ironic? Yep... I'd say so.

Like a kite
Cut from the string,
Lightly the soul of my youth
Has taken flight.

- Ishikawa Takuboku

Well, hear lies the mindless ponderings of this old lady for this day.

Peace, Love and Energy,
Tricia

Happy Easter

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 19:17:20 GMT

It's a beautiful day in Texas... temps around 70. I have moved all the plants outside, which means I now have my living room space back. Of course this means also that we now have weeds to remove, and plants to plant, and grass to mow, and all of those spring time things.

Remember this guy from last year. Well, this year, in addition to bird feed, I bought squirrel food, I wonder if he will eat the squirrel food or still go for the bird food. Also, I picked up a hummingbird feeder. I usually have hummingbirds anyway because they like the flowers I have that I don't know the name of, but maybe this way I will get more.

Skooter made me go to Wal-Mart, I thought I was going to have to take out one of the happy Easter shoppers... I mean honestly, who parks their buggy with their purse in it, in the middle of the aisle by the Easter candy and then wonders four feet from the buggy and leisurely peruses the candy on the Saturday before Easter... I should have grabbed that purse and hit her with it. Luckily Skooter showed up and stopped me from going mental in the candy aisle at Wal-Mart... that's one lucky woman. By the way, I wasn't shopping for Easter candy... the cranberry juice just happens to be on the same aisle. When I used to shop for Easter stuff (like a million years ago), everything was always purchased long before the day prior... on this day I would have been coloring eggs with my child like a normal person.

Son is on his way back to Ithaca. Estimated arrival time is midnight. He called and asked me to send the spare key to his car. For a moment I thought he had lost the key on his way home and went into panic mode. Turns out his fraternity is having initiation next week, and part of the initiation is giving up your car and living in the frat house. He has never been one to follow the rules especially when it comes to crazy initiation things. In ninth grade he refused to participate in the traditional "T"ing that all ninth grade boys are subjected to at our school. I was proud of him, but I think I realized at that moment how stubborn he can be.

Well, I have prated on enough.

Peace, Love and Energy,
Tricia

Spring Fever and Such Stuff

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 13:08:08 GMT

Well, since I confessed that I was on Spring Break and then didn't post for two or three days, I suppose I owe some kind of explanation. For those of you who live up north, don't hate me, but the weather in the South has been brilliant the last week, and so we took a little road trip over to visit friends and family. It is hard to believe that wildflowers are already sprinkled along the road side and sprigs of pale green, pink and white are budding from the trees. We never even used all our firewood..., but I know it's spring because I had to break down and take a benadryl last night, and my newly washed car was covered with yellow pollen. Allergies are the downside to spring, but I still love this time of the year. In August, I will be envious of you northern folks who have cooler temperatures... and we will be in the 100's everyday. Now for the shameless photoblog as evidence of my trip East... of East Texas.

Vegetarians take heed... Ms. Suzy homemaker is preparing homemade beef jerky.

We had crawfish with my sister and my niece.

Skooter likes this picture... I don't know why, but here it is.

Skooter, Jimbo and Don Julio???

And the crawfish were all gone...

Today is the last day of my Spring Break, sigh. I have a few bulbs I need to plant and I have to go buy crickets for the lizard... and then I will come home and watch Tiger, of course. Skooter is on the golf course, so I have the house to myself for a little while. Son texted last night from Manhatten... one of the few stops he is taking on his way to Florida. They had been to see the Gatsby's property from "The Great Gatsby"... I didn't know there was a real place, anyway, he seems to be enjoying his trip.

I will try to get around and visit some.

Peace, Love and Energy,
Tricia

Moving On...

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:43:33 GMT

Don't stroke out... I am on Spring Break... thus two post in two days.

From the comments left on my previous post, I am certain that my last post was overly melodramatic, depressing, and sarcastic.

Let me just say, we are not about to be on the streets, not yet, and if we are then we will have a new fridge to take with us, along with a new stove top and microwave. I guess the economy and all the talk about the economy has me a bit concerned, but I do believe that things will get better... don't you? Jeez, I hope so.

As for my 19 year old son... well, I was his age around 1980, back when gas hit a dollar, and we had just wrapped up the Vietnam War a couple of years before, and there was an energy crisis, and poor Jimmy Carter looked like the biggest idiot in the world, because he couldn't wrap up the Iran Hostage Crisis, and then Reagan came in and wallah everything seems to be better...sounds a lot like today, huh?

Anyway, my point is, I was oblivious to how poor I was then. I moved out of the parents house and lived in a three room garage apartment, a bathroom, kitchen and bedroom, and I had a roommate. I worked for minimum wage and was having the time of my life. So, I am really okay with him making a road trip. I guess I just felt that he should have consulted with the owner of the car, and the person who pays the insurance on the car. That being said, I hope he has a wonderful time. He really is a good kid, compared to good ole mom at his age, and I completely trust him. I will learn to let go..., I still want to protect him from all the harshness in the world, and I just can't anymore. It is not my job. I have to remember these words my dad shared with me late one night over a glass of wine... dad was a smart guy too .

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Yes, he is all grown up now..., come on mom, be a trooper.

I am watching Oprah and The Osmond Brothers are on... when did we get this old? They are grey-headed and old looking, except for Donny, who is probably using that hair color for men.

The Osmond Brothers today!

This is what I remember... how many years ago was that?

Tonight is AI..., I know many of you are not fans, but if you are definitely check out CynaraJane's post today. She has really done her AI homework.

So, I leave you with warm, fuzzy, happy thoughts, and rainbow dreams, and ice cream kisses and so on and so on.

Peace, Love and Energy,