I'm so fucking over shit.

I get so fucking tired of him never listening to me. Never taking my word for ANYTHING I say. He lets his insecurities get the best of him for no good reason. He doesn't even have a reason to even have insecurities. He wanted to pull out bullshit and say something like," Well as long as yours are there, mine will be too." Are you fucking retarded?!?! I have good reasons to be insecure, to worry, to judge. If I don't remember correctly, he was the one who lied to me, who left me, who said horrible things to me. I didn't do anything of that nature. I tried to save and cherish what little of a relationship we had for a while. He was the one willing to throw it away. He acts surprised when I tell him that during the 5 or so months we weren't together, he was a total asshole to me. If only there was a camera recording everything and anything I said to him and what he said to me, he'd understand it. I'm so fucking tired of him not understanding where I'm coming from. I've cut out some of the most important people of my life because of his stupid reasonings. He should be greatful. But of course, he isn't. No, I would never leave him. I want him to actually understand me. He says that if he had the money he'd put an engagement ring on my finger. But I don't want to marry someone who doesn't understand me, try to listen to what I have to say, and actually change for the both of us....

It makes me mad that for starters, a friend of mine is keeping something from me. Even though I know what he did, he kept it from me. And then it makes me mad knowning my other friend did it too. They both smoked weed and it pissed me off. No offense, but if you smoke weed you're a fucking loser. If I know you and you choose to smoke weed AFTER we've met, you're a loser and I have no respect for you as a person and you dissappoint me. But also, with that being said, I don't want you to lie to me about it either. I've had my share of friends, even those I consider close to me,  lie to me about stuff. I don't need any others. If you plan on lying to me about who you are and what you do, please don't waste my time and don't even bother. But anyways, I'm disappointed they did that. The girl knows how I feel already. The boy doesn't. It makes me mad that they gave that easily into some peer pressure. If they continue to smoke weed as an every day thing, I probably won't hang out with them as much anymore.

Note: If I meet you and you smoke weed already, I obviously like you for other reasons. Do I like that you smoke? No. But I get over it since you've done it long before we met. But if I know you and you start, its disgusting. I have a lot of respect for my friends and feel they're smarter than that. That all goes away once you puff on a blunt.

People who follow trends or give into peer pressure are weak to me. They could be the most intelligent person I know, but once they follow a trend or give into peer pressure, they are nothing but a weakling to me. I somewhat have pity for them.

If you've never been in love, don't try to tell me how to make my relationship work. You can't tell someone how a trail is if you haven't even walked it yourself.

I'm guessing I don't do something right since I miss my chance with so many people. I try to be their friends but yet they ignore me or totally blow me off. If you don't want me around/to be your friend, please stop wasting my time and yours and just say it up front. I'll know to stop trying...

I've been eating all day. I woke up, ate, and watched TV in a big shirt and shorts. I'm so aggrivated, dissappointed, upset, mad, and tired I don't know what to do with myself.

EDIT;

Don't tell me how to drive. I may not be the best with street names, but I do know where things are and how to get places. If I don't ask you where something is, don't direct me to it. I probably already know.

Don't tickle me... Its that simple.

Un) Being cold. I can honestly say I'd rather be sweating, complaining about how hot it is even when I'm only wearing shorts and a bathing suit top, with no shoes on, than even think about being cold. I think "coldness" is only truly necessary when you are hot. This actually happened to me this weekend. When I was at Busch Gardens with a few of my friends, it was scortching hot out. So hot I was slightly complaining(It takes a lot for me to complain about hot weather). What made the heat feel not as bad was when we went to go eat in this nicely air conditioned place, and when the cold water from the water rides got on us. Other than that, coldness is just a bother to me. The only slight good thing of being cold is the feeling you get at the tip of your nose. Besides that interesting feeling, being cold is horrible. Not to mention that when its cold old, things seem to hurt more.

Deux) People who are public with their drama. I really don't know a good way of describing this if you don't know what I mean. I, myself, am a very personal person. Its to the point that, unless I gave you permission, I don't like peolpe in my purse. There's something about it that just urks me bad. To me, when someone just brings their woes to you the first time you meet them, it gives a bad first impression, hinting that that person is nothing but drama 

Two examples: A) There is this girl at my school who I've known since probably kindergarden. It wasn't until around highschool that I took notice of how she would just tell everyone and anyone her problems. Right now, she's pregnant, which, I guess in her head, gives her the right to be all emotional, tired, and other things all the time. She comes into class 1st period, moping, and then tells anyone with ears reasons why she's upset. I know my friend Amber hates it. A lot of other people do. It makes me feel sort of good that I'm not the only one annoyed by it. B) There is this girl named Sarah who dated this one kid for about 4 months. They broke up, and now that's ALL she talks about. I can't even talk to Amber with her bringing up some drama about her and her ex. One day, while I was trying to help Amber with her boy troubles, Sarah comes up and just openly tells Amber and I about how sick it makes her knowing her ex sleeps with some girl then sleeps with her. And then she started talking about her sex life with him and how "big he was". I bet you're thinking,"Well, Nina, you were there. You didn't have to be around Amber at the time." I know. I actually tried leaving but Amber wanted me to stay so, in case Sarah actually shut up, we could finish talking. "But you have no right to say Sarah's in the wrong for confiding in a friend." Oh, I know. But she also confided in this one girl she just met in gym class, the gym coach, and about 3 other people she barely knows. Weirdo.

Trois) Being tickled. So many guys find it to be the best way to flirt with a girl. For me, its cruel and unusual punishment. I'll admit that I'll tickle a guy only to see if he's ticklish. Its cute for some reason. And I'll probably only tickle them if they do something stupid to me as my way of punishment. But that's it. Don't tickle me, and I won't tickle you. What doesn't help is the fact that I am extremely ticklish. The wrong touch and I'm laughing. When I say "tickle", I mean the hold-you-down-and-dig-my-fingers-in-your-side-and-make-you-laugh-and-cry-at-the-same-time kind of tickle. I do, however, like a good tickle. You know, like when someone rubs your arm lightly with the tips of their fingers. It feels good.

Quatre) Orange juice, along with anything Citrus. Its weird since I'm from Florida. For the most part, I would consider myself a "Florida Girl," but I don't like our state fruit at all. I don't now what it is about Citrus stuff, I just don't like it, whether its scented, flavored, or the fruit itself. It sucks for me since my mom loves it. Most scented things she buys are Citrus scented. The only time I'll have a lemon is if its in lemonade or in tea/water. I'll have an orange if someone is already eating one. As for limes, I really only use them for drinking. Haha. The smell of them makes me sick. I hate orange juice. I'm also somewhat allergic to it. Not only do I hate the taste, but when I am forced to drink it because people don't believe in Apple Juice being an amazing breakfast beverage, I get a horrible stomache. Also, take this from me: If you are allergic to something, especially some sort of drink, do not mix it with alcohol. Result= hugging the toilet.

Cinq) My body. Now before you start assuming things, I do not have an eating disorder. And if anyone were to classify me having one, it would be over eating. I eat constantly. My profile picture shows how much of a fatty I am. I was sitting in class, bored, and sent my friend Jen that picture because her and my friend Nathan were out at Sushi. Its not because I don't eat and I'm asking someone to feed me. But anyways, I hate my body. The only few perks of it is my tits, my ass, the shape of my feet, and my smile. Oh, and I think my ears a kinda cute. Other than that, ew. Short people come in three different body types; long legs but short torso, long torso but short legs, and surprisingly evened out. I suffer from the first one. I'm only 5'4" and most of my height comes from my legs. Some shirts look really awkward on me thanks to my lack-of-torso. I hate my eye color. Its brown, the color of shit. It is possible to have pretty brown eyes. A few of my friends do. But as for myself, I lucked out. The only way I can make them some-what cute is when I wear certain color eyeshadow. Blue, purple, green, and gray are ones that really bring out my eyes. Not to mention, I wear weight weird. I'm not disgustingly fat. I weigh 128lbs. I'm shocked I only way that much since I eat everything in sight. I'm only three pounds over my "normal" weight, but yet I look like I gained atleast 7. I have a slight pudge of a tummy (not too gross though. I promise.). The only plus side of me gaining weight is the fact that my boobs got bigger. I could go on, but I don't want you guys to think I'm some kind of emotional loser who completely hates her body to the point where it makes her life suck. I may not like it, but I do what I can with it. Haha. (And no, I didn't mean that in any kind of sexual way).
   

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Off Topic: So, I'm thinking about changing my layout.... I found a cute background one one of my favorite icon sites that would be perfect for summer. After all this exam bullshit is done and over with, I'll get around to doing it. Until then, enjoy the zebra print.

I am currently up at 3-something. Why? Exam reviews. Luckily, I really only have to think about three of my exams our of six; American History Hon, Phyrics Hon, and Trig and Analit Hon. For my AP English exam, I really can't study. She's handing us an old AP test. My fifth period is Tennis...which explains itself. I'll be finished with the test in like..20 minutes and still have over and hour and a half left in that class. Lame. I'm going to ask to leave when I'm done. I'm not showing up to my sixth period exam. She makes us take our exam (aka Essential Learning Test) before the actual exam days. So, if you're smart, you'll be done ahead of time. I'm quite the whiz at French I so I don't have to show up. All I have to do is turn in some late work, which I'm turning in tomorrow, and then I'm done. The worst part is trying to find the books for the teachers.

I'm taking a break... I was hunched over in my bed, surrounded by folders, papers, and different colored pens working on Trig and Physics stuff for atleast two hours straight. My back's all stiff and my eyes are heavy. It probably doesn't help that I'm watching Home Improvement, either. I want to get Trig somewhat done and get the rest of Physics done before school, which is in 3 hours. I'll have to do American History all day tomorrow....

But anyways, what does everyone have planned for the weekend?