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| Long holidays are always a good time to clear out old clutter. There's plenty of time to think through and decide what stays and what doesn't, or what you could store versus what really must go. Last night, i was clearing up my clutter. some of you who have seen my room will know that it is basically a storage room for everything else that was with us when we moved that had nowhere else to go. That plus papers and books and other nonsense from up to 7 years ago. Why do i keep these things? I have no fucking clue dude. When i was clearing up my shit (which, incidentally, is something i ALWAYS tend to do towards the end of the holidays when i'm trying to do work but then realise that i have no clue where everything is), i was thinking to myself : "why do i always wait until the last minute?" Seriously though, it's like this with everything. emotional clutter, physical clutter, clutter in terms of undone homework that's due in three days - you name it and hey presto it's there.
So anyway, i was wondering: "are we afraid to clear the clutter?" are we scared to finalise the breaking of bonds between friends, or that sense that once you throw away last year's schoolbag you'll NEVER see it again, or is it something else? For me, i think it's the finality. The fear that one day that person will call you and say "i'm sorry can we forget this ever happened" or that one day your ugly polka dotted bag will once again look hip and cool. and if (either emotionally or physically) you had thrown everything away already, wouldn't that just be a huge waste?
I think what we need to do here is to strip the hesitation. Your ex-friend ISN'T going to call back. you fell out for a reason and anyway he/she doesn't have the balls to call you. and that bag of yours? it was a monster from when you bought it. I mean, look at it. It's rather haggard for one thing and that colour- was it ever hip OR cool? didn't think so. throw out those last strings that tie you back to the old friend. get rid of your ugly threads or bags or shoes. it's time to clear out your shit.
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| okay so apparently the previous post was rather misleading. NOT leaving permanently. rather, i'll post less than i usually do (which i suppose isn't very often anyway). so i was thinking about all the other holidays (june ones, that is.) JC ROCKS | | |
| Goodbye Xanga, Hello Moleskine.
privacy has never been so famous.
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| i always think it's really funny how i want to say one thing on my blog so incredulously badly but then because i'm kind procrastinator i never actually get around to writing (or typing) out that ONE THING (that, seriously, shouldn't be so hard to do) and then i find something else that i want to talk about somewhere else that has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the first thing and sort-of-kind-of ruins the whole mood. well i mean, NOW i've ruined the mood for both because the tone just doesn't go, but that's okay.
FIRST- y'know, sometimes i stare at pictures of famous (or semi-famous) people - you know, the kind whose names you could google and get pictures of them (which i then proceed to open like a wildfire [thanks in big parts to opening in new tabs]) - and just wonder what it would be like to have them right in front of me. what they would say, what they would look like.. sometimes i wonder how they felt just before they died. did they die satisfied with their life? did they wish they had sex just ONE more time? death has always fascinated and scared me. simultaneously, of course. it's something i often lie in bed in the darkness and think about. I mean, what REALLY happens when you die (NOTE: i do not subscribe to any religion so don't give me that heaven or reincarnation shit.)? science seems to suggest that we simply cease to exist (or am i mistaken?). of course by this i mean that all bodily functions cease to occur and that we are no longer capable of thought and shit like that rather than us in terms of our body just not being there y'know? maybe i'm crazy. maybe everyone else thinks of the exact same things.
SECOND- all i can say is, if it was EVER a question of exclusivity, you would NEVER have been let in. how dare you say that about my friends? these are people who are real and true and haven't as many faces as you. i can very safely say that each and every one of them is like, 5 million times a better person than someone like you.
oh yes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE TANDIONO. you smelly indon sotong.
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