| Various and Sundry Random Thoughts Marking a Return to Xanga (again) Greetings fellow Xanglians,
Well, here I am again. With the best of intentions to try and keep up with blogging (insert hearty laugh here). I am now in the 5th month of working at Verity Institute. Its great work and its what I love. I've gotten invaluable experience running their music department and I work with some of the most incredible people around.
It is grad month here. That means recitals, piano tunings, and general insanity. It will be another great opportunity to trust God implicitly.
I've learned a lot about what it means to be a man these last few months. The first lesson is that a real man works until the job is done and trusts God to supply EVERY need and to satisfy every desire. The second is that a real man is not ruled by his desires, but rules himself under the greater rule of God. Easy to write about, impossible to live. That is what divine power is for.
I have also learned that the most horrible idol to have is one's self.
So
Walk in the light
Run
Dance
Kneel
Seek
Find
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| HumblingSometimes a boy must be broken for a man to be made
So, as much as is in me
I set aside childish things
Things that seem childish
Things that are childish
So much clutter
So much blindness
Whatever comes I have made this determination
To glory
Not in the breaking
But the Breaker
And strangely,
I am a child again
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| Chronicles of a Journeyman Ah well, I missed posting the completion of Friday's post so I'll leave you all with this.
I have walked in the darkness and seen naught, but myself,
And I was nothing for I was alone
Now I walk in the Light and I see everything
Strange, it is because I see Him
Darkness and Light, each has its own terror
Darkness because nothing is there to be looked at
Light because everything is seen
At times, I have crossed the line and walked in the void
I was gripped, then, by a kind of thrilling horror
Evil it was and black,
Black like the nothingness that is my soul without Christ
When I have walked in the Light, and felt it's searing brightness
Then my delight is complete
What I love can be seen without distortion
Light fills my soul with the fullness that is Christ
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| What in the world am I going to title this? I found that I have come to a point in my "Chronicles" that will require a bit more thought than I have had time for. I will try to post the rest of what I was trying to say tomorrow (Lord willing).
God has used that idea of love and hate (See last post) to effectively show me specifically what and where I lack in my relationship with Him. For example; Love and Desire are very closely related and we often make decisions on what we "Feel like" (desire) doing. Why would I decide to sleep in rather than seeking God early? Why would I decide to stay up late so that I cannot get up early? What do these decisions display concerning my love? I use the decision of getting up to spend time with God as an example. It could be any number of things for any number of people.
Every decision is a matter of
Light and Darkness
Love and Hate
Life and Death
Why do I choose?
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| Chronicles of a JourneymanJournal Entry; Day 9183
Weather; Clear
"Here I am at night. Sleep is a precious gift from our Maker. As I traveled today I met my first challenge of he journey. I had entered a part of the forest where it was very quiet. Other than my own movements I heard nothing. A great weight seemed to fall on my mind and everything became very still. I wondered what was wrong. Why didn't I keep moving? Why did I feel so heavy and confused?
I noticed suddenly that I was not alone. There were two men standing near me. One had come up behind and the other stood off to my left and a little in front. They were both dressed in the same black clothes and had hats pulled low on their heads so that you couldn't see their faces. I felt they were looking at me. I sensed them. I hated both of them, but I didn't know why for I had a strange attraction to them also."
I hate that which hurts what I love. What if I hate nothing? What if I hate what I should love?
Paravel
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