Currently Reading One Thing By Storms, Sam see related

"...i always purpose in my heart, to do things the right way. then i realize i'm still clay.

and this piece that's being shaped will be a beauty You create. 

i am nothing without Your love.

i'm unworthy but Your death has been enough.

i'm completed by Your touch.

but i feel like i've been given so much.

and i thank You. i thank You."

Currently Reading Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul By John Eldredge, Stasi Eldredge see related

as i sat on the porch swing were i was reading, i started thinking about each circumstance my bible listed and every name it mentioned. abel..enoch..joseph..noah..jacob..rahab..

these individuals changed the world by not making sense. they did odd things. and they definitely didn't fit in.

who they were seemed unique and somewhat strange to those around them. and most often, they were just downright odd people!

as i think about how seemingly odd each of these individuals must have seemed to everyone around them, i wonder. would i have questioned noah's thinking in building a boat if i was his neighbor? what about rahab? would i have seen her as below me and looked at her in disgust? or would i have seen in her the beauty Christ saw in her?

would i have been one of the children of Israel that played it safe and saw the giants in the land instead of seeing God in the land?

"faith is..the evidence of things not seen"

i was convicted at how dang temporal i so often am. they lived their lives in light of eternity. they lived to obtain the promise. their faith gave substance to that promise..to what they couldn't see. they in turn acted upon that unseen reality, not being caught up in how they appeared.

when i pray in a group of people, how often do i think about everyone around me instead of focusing solely on God? in corporate worship, how often am i afraid of looking foolish? how many times do i feel the need to explain myself as to why i'm not a typical 19 year old? to make my life sound less crazy and to help it make sense to everyone around me?

and in dreaming, how freakin often do i belittle my dreams to make them reachable in my eyes?

when i think about these heroes of faith i can't help but desire more. to long for a heart of such purity towards my all sufficient God. a heart that desires Him and His opinion alone. a heart that loves and dreams and pursues and lives..all in light of an eternal reality.

oh i want to live a life that doesn't make sense. i want to see with eyes that never look away from His eyes.

keep me close to this truth Father God, so i never have desire to blend in.

"what do i have if i don't have you, Jesus?

what in this life could mean anymore?"

Currently Listening Awake By Josh Groban see related

"let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,

for i have put my trust in You.

show me the way i should go, for to You i lift up my soul."

(ps. 143:8)

--

so my closest friend and sister says 'i do' four weeks from tomorrow. wow-it's all coming so dang fast.

sometimes i just stop and think back to what doesn't seem that long ago..

wasn't it just the other day that we were playing dress up with my mom's old cheerleading outfits and she was forcing me to let her do my hair even though she always brushed too hard?

i just smile when i think about the teenage drama moments we shared. the late night boy talk. looking at wedding magazines and dreaming of our 'someday'.

now - she's there. she's completely in love with the man of her dreams. she's the bride she always dreamt up. she's doing it. she's living in her 'someday'.

and i couldn't be more excited. i love seeing her so happy and so alive. love looks beautiful on her. :)

so while part of me wants time to stand still until that november day..another part of me is so full of joy because it's all so amazingly beautiful and can't wait to see my sister be a bride.

in the midst of everything, there are moments when the change seems too much to bear.

sometimes when i think about her really living so many thousand of miles away, my breath catches in my throat.

and sometimes when i walk through our bathroom into her room and boxes and bare walls are all i see, i cry.

we'll always have those moments when all we have to do is look at each other to die laughing because we know exactly what the other person is thinking. we'll always say the same thing at the same time.

we'll always compare tans. even if it's over the phone. :) we'll always be sisters..

so praise be to a God who ordains all-sufficient grace for every season of change.

and praise God for such an incredible sister. she's my hero.

"oh i hope..i hope it never ends. 'cause we're the best of friends.."