yay for hating my life.  jk.  everyone is back in town for summer so im excited to see old faces.  hung out with megan A and gag-e-licious this weekend and boy, was it fun.  we had a couple exciting nights including an oceans 13 gathering.  me and gage had a lovely metro weekend that included a little yard work.  we - no joke - had our shirts off sweating, digging, chopping and smoking marlboro's.  ok i lied about the smoking but it sounds less gay that way.  anyways ive discovered blody mary's and i love them.  i like pretending im drinking V8 and that its healthy. 

summer classes at inver are like a retard trying to teach me to tie my shoes.  except that im a person of average intelligence and i already know how, and hes too stupid to know how to tie fukking shoes in the first place and is teaching me the wrong way, and i know its the wrong way.  and when i try to explain to him its the wrong way hes too stupid to know hes stupid, and just re-explains everything.  and i stab myself in the eye in frustration.  YAY CLASSES!

soaked

so its a normal night.  me and Jeff are chillin playing some DOTA and Haley was also here watching some tv.  haley bought me a squirt gun, for jojo, so that when she does things wrong i can squirt her and shell learn not to scratch my shit, etc.  so anyways i turn the gun on haley.  i squirted her plenty of times, amounting to about 5 tablespoons of water.  anyways she retreated to the bathroom giggling and hid there for awhile.  about 5 mins later she snuck out and got a glass.  she filled it with water.  at this point i was willing to call it quits so as to not get my couch soaked and told her it was over it was done.  she came over to the couch with the intention of pouring the entire glass on my head.  i told her point blank that it was an unreasonable trade, showing her the squirt bottle missing only a portion, and that if she actually poured the entire glass on my head it was the shower for her.  i sat there unmoving expecting her to pour about 1/3 on me to get me back for earlier, still emphasizing the fact that if she did it all, she was going to get fucking drenched.  i only threaten this because if someone wants to escalate unnecessarily on me, im going to take it all the way baby.  anywho she comes over and kinda jokingly tips it for a bit.  i didnt budge, i was willing to pay for my joke.  she then tips at least half on my head, then after a moments thought, pours the rest.

i was not mad.

i then stood up, grabbed her by the bra (shes going nowhere without that), walked her to the bathroom, and turned the shower on and fucking soaked her.  i just want to make sure everyone understands that there was no measure of fairness here.  she stood in the shower (unwillingly) for about 20 seconds and was completely drenched.  i was laughing, she was standing there in shock, and wet.  i then told her to dry off and she could change into any suitable clothes she could find (i have plenty).  she stayed in the bathroom for about 10 mins then left in a hissy fit telling me to grow up.

i feel a little miffed about this for 2 reasons:

A.  i fucking told you the punishment for giving me more then i dealt, you knew it would happen.

3.  if it was me in the fukking shower, i would be EXPECTED to fukking man-up, dry off, and change clothes.  i would have done so with a big ass smile on my face, because thats what follows funny things. 

D.  but no, not haley.  find some more fukking drama while youre at it. 

POKER

so about six months ago i swore off poker, after a few day losing streak, until i could afford it again.  this weekend ive started going back and have done moderately well.  im up a little over two hundred after three visits, and thats a lot considering the low limit im playing.  anyways, i think im going to start a little fund with my winnings and try to buy into a big game.  it seems stupid to some people, but i would have a chance at winning several hundred with free money.  so far my fund is at $10.  im keeping my $200 so that if i lose in the near future i can walk away still up.  my goal is $1k, and if i ever get there im going to play a red chip game until i win 500, or bust out.  its a fabulous plan and im sticking to it.  ive gotten to a point in my playing where im very comfortable in the assumption that given about 5 hours, i can win money.  maybe not a lot, but i can at least hold even.  i have a couple friends i like to go with who are also becoming more refined, and over the last couple times, have ended up positive. 

so i got an interesting story.  well not that interesting but what i think is the most fucking irritating thing a person can do.  last night i was sitting around bored out of my mind, and got a call from haley.  she "and some friends" were meeting at perkins and i was invited to tag along.  so i did.  it was fine to start and i got a chance to talk to nicole about the boundary waters a little, and our possible going again.  then we found out that vanessa was coming.  now of course vanessa hates me, who knows why, and also haley.  i have to sit and listen to this bullshit about how vanessa tells everyone she hates me on a regular basis, like i fucking care.  not only do i think its pretty fucking highschool to hate someone you barely know, but shes a fat, ugly, retard who hates me.  so anyways, when vanessa shows up im nervous, not because of her feelings towards me, but because there were other people around, and there is only one direction the noise can go when vanessa is in the house.  up.  i wouldnt be so concerned with this, as we are at a place that normally has kids in late at night who make noise.  but theres also only one direction the conversation can go with vanessa, inappropriate.  straight to sexual, and straight to disgusting.  we're talking 30 seconds before she was yelling "penis" at me exclaiming its no big deal, and trying to convince me she has free speech rights in a private establishment, so its ok.  then we move tables into the middle of the fucking restaurant to accomodate more people showing up.  bad move.  conversation has now moved to rape control in other countries, (the use of something that a girl puts in her and it basically mutilates any guy trying to have sex with her) and the detailed description of this device, and how its such a great idea.  again, normally i dont have a problem with this topic, its a real-world issue, retarded but whatever right.  but do people seriously not understand that maybe, just maybe, other guests are not paying to eat, and be forced to listen to a detailed rape scenario......?  the whole time im trying to tell them to keep it down, and im coming off like an asshole.  shushing 20 year olds who "dont get it".  so anyways, to wrap this up, one of my pet-peeves is when youre at a restaurant, or anywhere you dont think you need others to listen in, and you shush someone whos too loud, and they yell at you.  like youre some kind of fucking criminal for having an OUNCE of respect for other people.

p.s.  when she left everyone was confused about how quiet the restaurant got.....  and conversation returned to normal.