psalm271314's Xanga

Being Disciplined

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 15:38:11 GMT

Do you know what is really frustrating? Its when you try hard at something and you fail and its because of a lack of discipline. I have been trying to diet. To eat right and exercise. I have gained weight that I really need to lose and quite frankly its hard. Often times I just feel like giving up. Other times I have. It just seems that I can't get motivated enough to work out as much as I should, or eat the way I am suppose to.

I think there will be two responses to those that read this. Those that say
1) Summer you don't need to lose any weight
2) Its about time...

According to my doctor and BMI charts, I need to lose 15-20 pounds. That may not sound like a lot to some, but man, its been hard! Honestly, I wish that I was totally happy with myself and I could just accept where I am, but I am not. I have never been labeled the cute girl before, I have struggled with weight since I was in junior high. I feel so self conscious around other women my age. Sometimes I think college is worse than middle school or high school. After seeing recent pictures of myself, I feel so disgusted with myself. Pictures are far worse than what I see in the mirror.

The worst part of this struggle is that I know what the Bible teaches. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that beauty is vain. I know that I should focus on the Lord, for a woman who fears the Lord is priceless. I know these things. Then why can't I fully believe them? Why am I confident that there is going to be someone that thinks I am the best thing since slice bread? I mean really...

I guess for now I will continue to struggle...

Japan

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 23:27:57 GMT

I saw that a missions organization has a semester in Japan this spring. I really would like to go, only I need to graduate... I ask that you guys pray that I be content where the Lord has me now, which is here...

The New Facebook is EVIL.

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 16:13:58 GMT

    Okay, so my words may seem pretty strong, but I am pretty upset at the latest turn that facebook has turn. I enjoyed facebook as a tool to keep in contact with people, but I do not appreciate it turning into a gossip circle. For those of you who don't know about it, facebook now follows your every move and posts it to all of your friends. It tells your friends who you wrote messages to. It tell everyone who you were in a relationship with. It even tells people the groups you have joined.

    Quite honestly, I do not need this much information on my friends. I really do not care to get involved in the latest gossip of who is dating who. I believe that UMHB is already like a high school in some respects that everyone knows about everyone, but I believe facebook is only going to exacerbate the problem. I have already experienced gossip on my behalf.

    I just want to let everyone I do not have to put my relationship status on facebook! Just because I take single off of my profile, it does not mean I am dating anyone. Perhaps I don't want to broadcast to the whole world my singleness! Sorry if I seem upset, but everyone is bugging me and I am finding it quite annoying. Let this girl be in peace please...

J-O-B

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 16:17:22 GMT

Everybody, guess what??? I am the newest TELECOUNSELER for UMHB! Woohoo!

Hi, my name is Summer and I am calling on behalf of the University of Mary Hardin Baylor. Yes! Or sould I say YE$?

Refined By The Fire

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 14:13:06 GMT

I must be honest. This whole blog thing is hard for me to do. I have stuff to write about, but it seems so insignificant or strange for me to post it on the Internet for everyone to read. Sorry to my friends who keep asking when I am going to put up another post...But you have to be patient with me until I feel comfortable about writing. I am going to give it a try...

I have been going through a lot right now. I know it is from God and He is refining and I think He is working in my life as to what that means to me as Christian. The Scriptures talk about how God refines us by putting us through trials.

James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:12

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

I find it interesting that James doesn't say that if you face trials, but rather he implies that there will be trials by his use of the word "whenever." I am even more astounded that James tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials! The Lord has been working in my life about this. I think that we don't really know the depth and ugliness of our charater until we are put under pressure. I know for me, it is so easy for me to be kind and loving when everything is going well, but I am not quick to be kind when I am hurting. In the santification process, Christ wants us to be whole, mature and complete. There is never any promise that we will be free from pain. Taking the words of James, it is expected. I have been dealing with some really hard things but instead of complaining about my struggles, I am looking to the Lord with a glad heart for the oppurtunity to be refined, to grow.

People who know me well, know that I have been through a tremendous amount of pain in my life. I have experienced more heartache in my 19 years, then some retirees have experienced in their entire lives. I have often questioned God why I have been through so much. People have asked me the same. At times I have been upset and bitter with God because I have wondered why I have been handed so much, but yet there are people in my life that have very little idea what pain is. However, the Lord spoke to me this morning in my time with Him. I was reading in Zechariah.

Zechariah 13:8-9

In the whole land," declares the LORD,
"two-thirds will be struck down and perish;
yet one-third will be left in it.

This third I will bring into the fire;
       I will refine them like silver
       and test them like gold.
       They will call on my name
       and I will answer them;
       I will say, 'They are my people,'
       and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.' "

Those that have studied the Old Testament, knows that God promised that there would be a remnant, a portion of those that he had set apart to follow Him. In verse 9 the "third" was a remnant, a small part of the whole.These believers were refined like silver and gold through the fire of their difficult situations. I want to be part of that small portion. I want to be obedient and serve Him with my life. I want to be like Christ and be used by Him, and I have determined in my heart if that means more trials, then so be it.

Prasise be to God who is my Lord, Savior and Refiner!

The Haircut

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 17:53:57 GMT

Okay, sorry to everyone who wanted me to continue to grow out my hair, but I had to cut it! It was far shorter than I thought I would get, but it certianly is a God send in this heat!

Before

Please pardon the not so intelligent expression on my face- But it shows how long my hair was

After

Others would have to agree with me. I even lost the crazy face!

Rejoice In The Lord

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 19:15:09 GMT

Today was a pretty standard day with classes. Things are so much calmer here. I have enjoyed getting so see people I haven't seen since May. I am glad things have been slower, because the Lord has really been working on my heart. I have been struggling with everything that happened this summer, as well the different events that are happening in my life right now and God has just really been speaking to me. I have been memorizing the book of Philippians since this summer. I want to memorize the entire book. As I have been memorizing it, for the daily "quiet time" I have been just reflecting on particular passages. I have been really meditating on Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This passage is quoted often, but I haven't really thought about it much. I am so quick to try to take care of everything myself. I am so "self-sufficient" that I am reluctant to talk to God. It's only when life blows up in my face that I really begin to seek His face. The worse part is, I have missed out on the peace I can have by giving my concerns to my Father. I know God answers prayers and is concerned, I think about the verses Psalm 116:1-2

I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.

So, I am rejoicing in the Lord and running to Him daily...

Second day of classes and oh the cost of books!

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 14:31:41 GMT

I had my second day of classes today and they went great. I really am going to enjoy them I think. However, I am not so happy about the cost of books. Please excuse the rant, but I have to get this out.

If I was a smart investor, I would invest into textbooks. Here is the deal:

You make students pay 100+ dollars for a new textbook (and even used ones) and then they use it for one semester. Then, as a textbook company you decide to make a revision and make it a new edition. Now I ask you, what are these revisions? Quite usually just a few terms are changed. And guess what? You as a textbook company get to charge people for yet another new book, because schools will consider the older edition obsolete!

Now, some students are frugal enough to go online to buy their books, where at times you can buy the textbook at a fraction of the price. But textbook companies have found a way around that. Now, they customize books to the school! I had no idea such a thing existed until I had to go buy my accounting book and the cover is hardcover and says Accounting customized for UMHB BACC 2311 & 2312. So all of us had to shell out 184 dollars after tax for this "customized" book. Only, I can't figure out what is so customized about it. Once again, I am going to invest into the textbook company.

I am done ranting. I think I need to go spend some time with Jesus, I have been ranting a lot lately.

Start of yet another year...

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:42:00 GMT

Today was the start of yet another school year. It was pretty normal. I got up, went running then went to classes. Wow, nothing all that exciting. It is very strange for me to NOT have something going on. I am not really sure what to do with it. This past summer, I felt God telling me to slow down and listen to Him. Now, I have time to do that and I am not sure what to do.

I have been discussing this with Amelia, but I really don't want to be here. I mean I love my school. I am really thankful that God has led me here, but I feel really discontent. I can feel for Amelia's longing to go back to Wales, because I want to go back to Japan more than ever. I have been looking to seek satisfaction in God and the place he has me right now, but I am finding it difficult.

I don't know what God is doing, but I can feel that He certainly moving in my life.

First Entry

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 22:23:36 GMT

Okay so another school year and yet another attempt to start a blog. I am tired of being pushed an bothered by friends. Okay everyone, here is my attempt.