hey everyone,

i am home sick right now, while all of you are in school.
i actually wish i was there...ugh i feel horrible...
you don't even know...
last night, i cried soo much, and it probably didn't
help me any when dan said i was being passiveagressive....
and, i just don't know what to do anymore...
i think i am just going to shut myself off...
and just do what god wants, except the part about telling
people what i am supposed to...
because it seems everytime i try to,
i screw something up, or people think i am the weirdest person,
and then they push away.
i don't even know what i feel anymore...
why can't one person understand...
one person understand how hard it is to be me...

god, why me? why do i have to be the one that.........

"Since God often sends us inspirations by means of His angels, we should frequently return our aspirations to him by means of the same messengers."
   - Francis De Sales

"I saw the tracks of angels in the earth: the beauty of heaven walking by itself on the world."
   - Petrarch

"And the angel said- 'I have learned that every man lives not through care of himself, but by love'..."
   - Leo Tolstoy
(i don't know how long i'll last...i never feel loved...i'm not an angel...or am i? no i couldn't be...i'm not good enough...or atleast, noone has ever told me i was)

so anyways....i am completely lost...and sick
and i feel horrible...
i am going to have to make up 2 test, and a quiz
ugh! all because....of...stupid things...
why can't i be normal...?

ok i  just read all of that...and i sound really really selfish...
wow...i feel bad now...
i am always asking why me? why? instead of just trusting
god has a reason for it all...but seeing as who i am...
i still find it hard to trust...
ugh...im pathetic...

will someone make me feel loved and leave a comment?
i always feel soo unloved...oh well
i'll get used to it...

::jaime-marie::