Currently Listening Ben Folds Live By Ben Folds Brick see related

And so it goes...

Im leaving for Virginia in a little bit. I should be excited, but its 2am and Im tired. Well I guess Im not in bed sleeping before another workday, so thats exciting.

Life:
Its been very intresting lately. I find myself with more questions than answers. More dwelling on the past, and not just the recent past, but the long ago past. My life in its entirety, every decision I have made and how its affected me, and that only leads me to wonder what woudl have happened if...
If I had jumped, if I had hadnt backed out, If I had said yes, or no... Again more questions than answers. I dont like to dwell on past decisions and play the 'what-if' game, but I find myself in such a place now so similar to places I have been before. Did I learn form my mistakes the first time? Were they even mistakes? It all leads back ot the 'what if' question. So I'm left not knowing what to do, even though Ive been here before, because I dont know what woudl have happened way back when.

On a side note... I might be buying a condo soon.

Currently Listening The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most By Dashboard Confessional Screaming Infidelities see related

D-DAY (Sep 29th 2007)

When meeting calamities or difficult situations, it is not enough to simply say that one is not at all flustered. When meeting difficult situations, one should dash forward bravely and with joy. It is the crossing of a single barrier and is like the saying, "The more the water, the higher the boat."
-Hagakure

Well I made it through D-Day... So that's good. It actually wasnt as bad as i was expecting. I only thought about it 2 or 3 times and darn it, I had fun that night not thinking....

So here it is 3 days after and I can't get my mind off it. I'm tired, but can't sleep. Full of energy, but no motivation to do much of anything with it. So, to compensate, I've been hitting my weight bench pretty hard all night to the point now where I cant really feel my arms or legs anymore(much like Ive been doing every night for the past week). And yet, Still too much energy to sleep, and to awake to fall asleep(much like every night this week). Granted I know its only 8:30PM, but I just want this feeling to go away. I want to smile. I want to cry.

It's over and past. Things will get back to normal soon.

Kings Island Tickets

Free tickets to go to KI with me saturday

First to send me a REAL EMAIL get them.

Lost the Plot - greatest words ever written

When you come back again
would you bring me something from the fridge?
Heard a rumour that the end is near
but I just got comfortable here.
sigh.
Let's be blunt.
I'm a little distracted.
What do you want?

Headaches and bad faith
are all that I've got.
First I misplaced the ending
then I lost the plot.

Out among the free-range sheep
while the big birds sharpen their claws.
For a time we stuck with the shepherd
but you wouldn't play Santa Claus.

sigh.
Let's be blunt.
We're a little distracted.
What do you want?

Once we could follow,
now we cannot.
You would not fit our image,
so we lost the plot.

Once we could hear you,
now our senses are shot.
We've forgotten our first love.
We have lost the plot.

When I saw you for the first time
you were hanging with a thief
And I knew my hands were dirty,
and I dropped my gaze.
Then you said I was forgiven
and you welcomed me with laughter.
I was happy ever after.
I was counting the days
when you'd come back again.
we'll be waiting for you
When you comin' back again?
we'll be ready for you
Maybe we'll wake up when...
maybe we'll wake up when
you come back again.

lies.
Let's be blunt.
We're a little unfaithful.
What do you want?

Are you still listening?
`Cause we're obviously not
We've forgotten our first love
We have lost the plot.

And why are you still calling?
You forgave, we forgot.
We're such experts at stalling
that we've lost the plot.
lost the plot

When you come back again
would you bring me something from the fridge?
Heard a rumour that the end is near
but I just got comfortable here.

--Some days are rough, and I don't care about the plot. I just want to be happy.

Sounded like fun ...

1. I've come to realize that my ex: 
2. I am listening to: the hum of a computer
3. I talk:  when i have something to say
4. I love: my friends
5. My best friend: is hard to define.
7. I've lost:  Ive lost my red caboose 
8. I hate it when: I know whats going to happen and I cant prevent it
9. Love is:  a very powerful word
10. Marriage is: Long away
11. Somewhere, someone is thinking: they are sleepy
12. I'll always be:  me
13. I have a crush on:  someone beautiful 
14. The last time I cried was: 'cleaning' my room.
15. My cell phone:  contains my life
16. When I wake up in the morning:  I hit snooze
17. Before I go to sleep at night:  I think about hitting snooze in the morning
18. Right now I am thinking about:  see 13
19. Babies are: small and fragile.
20. I get on myspace:  when they send me an email that someone left me a message
21. Today:  wore me out
22. Life is: the name of my company's timecard program
23. Tomorrow I will:  think about bug zappers
24. I really want: for things to all work out 
25.The person who most likely to repost this is:  ??
26.Why does he always:  huh?
27. My family:  is odd at best
28. I tried: and tried and tried
29: I get annoyed when:  people use me
30. Love:  see 9