there hasn't been a day for the past 4 years i haven't missed lgbt. but the last few weeks has been... exhausting. exhausting to keep wishing and wanting to make life what it was when we would all be in 530 linden. it's sad to realize that nothing could compare or replace or parallel that level of support. it's even more sad to realize what you thought could, in fact can't. i hate the time difference, the distance, the inaccessibility.

the king said something so true today - remember the days we were together, went out to do whatever we want. didn't have to worry about this or that, brought home all the money we wanted.... and some times even their cousins. at the same time naturally not having to worry about what the rest would think cus we would all by default be on par. i can't say you can share that kind of equality with many people.

but luckily i know if i look hard enough there are one or two scattered somewhere near. sometimes it's nice to have some down time to think and reevaluate a few things. if you're lucky, it brings much clarity. and these past few weeks have been that for me. so i continue to work hard, keep my priorities straight, and just try not to care too much, because it'll come back to bite you in the ass. and i'm not JUST talking about boys. haha

i just wish we could all have breakfast at coney island.

and off to work on a saturday now!

7 hrs to the unknown

10 hrs to take off

big day for me yet all i can think about is boarding that plane and my next 11 days in shanghai. it won't hit me till i'm back that i'm unemployed. yes, today is my last day at dior... i hope none of my ex colleagues have access to this xanga or else people will be talking talking talking, because that's a pre req to being in this industry! i have nothing planned, nothing waiting, nothing pending. just a whole lot of nothing. but in a twisted way, that's where my good-scared comes from... i'm leaving my comfort zone, and for the first time in my life, i'm taking the unknown route... and for you all who know me will know that is so out of character... but let's leave all the worrying for when i come back! wish me a good trip everybody! will update soon. signing off for... what's sorta like... the end of an era....

i left my heart singapore. i fell in love with it the first time, and i fell deeper in love after going a 2nd time. i just love it there. some people say it's boring, but hey, i'm a boring person! i love that things are so chill. i love that shops and restaurants are closed and the streets empty on sundays. kinda like being in england. and i like that there is a pool to pretty much every apt complex. i like that most singaporeans are so nice. and simple. and not pretentious. or is it that i'm quite sick of hk that i'd love any where but here? altho i didn't get to visit sentosa this time round, there will def. be a 3rd time to singapore, and i will then. i wonder if ben hadn't relocated there if i'd have such an urge to move there myself? i wonder if i knew no one if i'd still want to move there? flying off to shanghai this friday. for 12 days. many places i want to visit. and of course people i want to see. i wonder if i'll end up leaving a piece of my heart there too... but right now i really can't see myself wanting to live anywhere other than singapore (hey, it's the next best thing to nyc). having to return to hk will be heartwrenching. At least i'll be coming back to see ACE here and jumping straight into 'jenny's here we gotta party it up HK style' mode. i'm so excited!!!! winter is really here! the smell of crispy cold air... finally arrived. malls playing xmas music, xmas decorations everywhere........ i love this season (which singapore sadly doesn't have).