| it's not quite ready yetbut i will be switching to a new xangablog soon - i kind of feel like taking an identity that also reflects my "band" name - so, http://weblog.xanga.com/vampiredeer is it
this will remain up - it'll take awhile to set it all up but i am going to post something substantial tonight - all i really want to say right now is that it's time for a change - i feel like moving on in whatever ways are possible for me and although it's not real possible in my local life, there's no reason i can't do that online
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| i don't hang around here enoughjust looking over this new private page - well, it's somewhat confusing, isn't it
work continues to be surprisingly dull and the lack of any real events is an odd change in my life, after having nearly 16 months of one damned thing after another - this is 2 months in a row that nothing's happened
i really need to kick the writing back into gear - i think i have time for it now - a lot of it is, i kind of feel like i took a look around one day and didn't know how i relate to this world around me or what to say about it, especially seeing as there are very few to listen
my previous answer has been just to please myself, but that only takes me so far - but in some way, i just needed a break from the writing - i was starting to feel repetitive and i needed to back off for awhile - i still feel like that may be true - i don't know - but it's more likely that i'm closer to the end of this stage than the beginning
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| still alive and welland back to 40 hour weeks for awhile - i can't say i understand the logic behind what our bosses are doing and i'm not even sure they've thought it out - they didn't have enough people, now they have too many - they had too much product to deliver now they don't have enough
i think i've probably stayed away long enough - part of it was lack of time and energy and lack of desire - and not having much to say anyway - no real changes, just things seemingly getting back to normal
over the next month i plan to be working a lot on music
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| i'm alive and alright - as alright as i'm going to be working 68 hours a week - this is just insane - i don't know what i have to do to get a life - i think it's against company rules
the disgust i feel towards them just becomes greater - they screwed a lot of people in other locations by closing 3 plants all so we could have the dubious privilege of working 7 days a week trying to make up the shortfall - which we aren't managing to do
i'm working 1st shift these days, which is more agreeable with me, but 68 hour weeks are 68 hour weeks
i might even be working on thanksgiving day - all because some bright soul decided that they could make a little more money by working us to death - well, that's what they thought
unfortunately, they're losing money because the machines are breaking down and the people are tired, burned out and often don't give a damn
the stories i could tell - and i have a private journal where i do tell them - i don't think it's a wise idea to mention much
i'm making a ridiculous amount of money per week - i'm saving most of it and continuing to live on the 40 hour budget i had - when i do make a change, i'm going to have some back up to do it with
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| i'm still around - work hasn't been too bad this week - it seems like changes might be happening there - i don't know - i kind of feel as if i'm approaching a point in my life where something's going to be different
one thing is that i can't really allow myself the luxury of worrying about what all these other people around me are going to do - getting involved in all their drama is just complicating things, so i try to step back from it - eventually, the company will be a certain way and it'll be predictable and then i can look at it and decide whether i want that or not
if it doesn't change, i DON'T want it - working 7 days a week is just not any kind of answer for me
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