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| love will be the death of me,
love is so fickle.
it starts with a flood and ends with a trickle.
i have dreams of orca whales and owls,
but i wake up in fear.
you will never be my, you will never be my fool,
will never be my fool.
it was a bright, and sweet, and hot summer day,
the day i didn't love you anymore.
people are just people,
they shouldn't make you nervous.
the world is everlasting,
it's coming and it's going.
if you don't toss your plastic,
the street won't be so plastic.
and if you kiss somebody,
then both of you'll get practice.
keep it steady. you were never ready for the lies.
but i don't want to, want to, want to, want to,
go in circles round the bend until we are just friends again,
and then not even that.
sometimes i almost can recall what it was like before we ever met,
sometimes not even that.
we're gonna get real old real soon.
today, we're younger than we ever gonna be.
don't get me wrong, dear,
in general, i'm doing quite fine.
it's just when it's summer in the city
and you are so long gone from the city
i start to miss you, baby, sometimes.
love is a dangerous pastime,
caught between madness and gladness of flight.
nothing is wrong and nothing is right,
falling asleep in your arms every night.
don't say goodbye like you're burying him,
'cause the world is round and he might return
the flowers you gave me are rotting,
and still, i refuse to throw them away.
some of the bulbs never opened quite fully,
they might so i'm waiting and staying awake.
things i have loved i'm allowed to keep.
leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
when they're about to fall from trees, when they're about to dry up
has it always been this way?
is it possible that all this magic went unnoticed?
maybe now, things will start to change,
and life will turn a better page, no more rage.
saying love is the answer to a question that i have forgotten,
but i know i've been asked and the answer's got to be love.
i'll never fall, never fall like that again
thought i'd cry for you forever, but i couldn't so i didn't.
people's children die and they don't even cry forever.
thought i'd see your face in my mind for all time,
but i don't even remember what your ears looked like.
the history books forgot about us,
and the bible didn't mention us,
the bible didn't mention us, not even once.
you are my sweetest downfall
i loved you first, i loved you first.
tell me what you told me again,
and i might believe you next time,
maybe give it another try.
it's hard, it's harder than it's ever been before.
things that used to comfort me don't comfort me anymore.
i never loved nobody fully,
always one foot on the ground.
and by protecting my heart truly,
i got lost in the sounds.
i was here but now i've gone to take a walk,
and i won't be back, 'cause its a lovely day,
and none of us know how long we've got to stay.
they'll name a city after us and later say it's all our fault,
then they'll give us a talking to,
then they'll give us a talking to,
because they've got years of experience.
does it matter that our anchors couldn't even reach the bottom of a bath tub?
the food that i'm eating is suddenly tasteless.
i know i'm alone now,
i know what it tastes like.
and i have walked these streets so long,
there ain't nothin' right, there ain't nothin' wrong.
don't tell your secrets to anyone,
because ideas are vulnerable.
as soon as you say your idea out loud,
then it can go and live on its own.
and you will miss it oh so much,
and you will wait for it's return,
and you will wish it were your own.
but ideas that left never come back home.
so stop right now, now's the time to let go.
and stop right now, now's the time to break free
how much do you really know you?
`regina spektor lyrics.`
| | |
| i can't believe that we would lie in our graves,
wondering what we might have been.
i prayed heaven today would bring it's hammer down on me and pound you out of my head. i can't think with you in it.
and we would sit and wonder about the future,
but now i'm thinkin that today sounds fine to me.
it will all fall, fall right into place.
and every kiss you get,
and every chance you miss,
every shooting star,
every touch of god,
every town you pass,
every mark you scratch,
every tidal wave,
every brand new day,
reminds you how alone you are.
i have made a mess of things, but at least that's something.
blahh, small update. bigger one later this week. :)
| | |
| there's something about burning all those bridges you and i can't seem to let go.
some of it's magic, some of it's tragic,
but i've had a good life all the same.
we'd look good side by side.
but will i hold you again?
these fickle, fuddled words confuse me,
like "will it rain today?"
waste the hours with talking, talking,
these twisted games we play.
though we both know that the worst part about it is i would be free when you
wanted me, if you wanted me.
"it's all going to work out the way it's supposed to."
"..yea, and what if the way it's supposed to work out sucks?
maybe i have said too much,
or really haven't said enough.
all these words, they come undone.
i'm getting lost in the meaning.
once in a while, you get shown the light, in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.
| | |
| it doesn't matter if you feel useful or not when you keep moving from
one disaster to the next. the trick, i guess, is to just keep moving.
i can't tell if you're laughing,
between each smile, there's a tear in your eye.
there's a train leaving town in an hour,
it's not waiting for you and neither am i.
you came along one day and you rearranged my life,
all i gotta say is i must have done something right.
what if there's no such thing as true love but we're just too afraid to admit it? so we keep on dressing up, we keep on pretending to be something that we're not. we keep on turning our lives upside down, losing ourselves in something that we hope is better than what we think we are. what if that something we're looking for just doesn't exist?
don't worry about a thing,
every little thing is gonna be alright.
how can i ever stop you from crushing my soul?
it was, it was yours, yours to begin with.
holding on to something that's only ultimately hurting you isn't being hopeful and determined. it's being stupid. | | |
| i love you. not the kind they taught you about and i didn't know this either, but love doesn't make things nice. it breaks your heart. it makes things a mess. we aren't here to make things perfect. the snowflakes are perfect. the stars are perfect, not us. we are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. the storybooks are bullshit.
with accidents,
you'll never know what could have been.
so we were an accident,
you'll always be my favorite one.
it's life you're angry at. people leave, period. they move on, they get sick, they die. that's life, darling, that's life. but if you let that stop you from living, then what's the point of it all?
well, i don't think we have to be like this forever.
is there more to life than love and being together?
you went away cause you said you couldn't love me,
and i went away cause all i do is love you.
if the world should fall apart in a fiction worthy wind, i wouldn't change a thing, now that you're here.
but the puzzle pieces misaligned.
you've been talking in your sleep,
but you never mentioned me.
but the struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise. for happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
you're the end of my nights,
the starting thoughts at sunrise.
you've got me changing, but
the same things are holding me back.
hearts aren't made of glass. they're made of muscle and blood and something else. and they don't so much break as bend and tear.
brushing my wet hair from my face,
and watching a show that isn't even my taste.
i find more comfort in food and alcohol,
than i could have ever found in you.
learned that i don't even like the radio anymore,
too many songs remind me of you.
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