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| life suckswell... okay my little happy outlook on life didn't last too long... 'my best and most true friend of ever' -(Scott)- and one of my closest friends -(Bracewell)- are unmeaningfully -(hopefully)- making me miserable... and now i'm sure they both hate me, or at least Bracewell does... which kills me... a little more than ususal... they don't realize that they are tearing me apart -(i hope)-... so yes i am incredibly miserable... every time i get close to what i want, what i want moves farther away... and Bracewell is trying to change the things that Scott told me... and trying to make me believe things that aren't true... and Scott is just being really condescending... i just want to push them both into rush hour traffic, but i know i would kill myself trying to save them... it's ironic how the two people i care about the most are the ones killing me... but maybe that's why they're hurting me because i care so much about them...
somebody kill me now please... | | |
| goodbye to you && the life i knewheyy*...what are you guys up to? notta lot here...i am in a fairly good mood right now...last night was terrible a certain some one -(cough cough)- said something that got me kinda down, && i honestly felt like giving up...-(which i was recently told would lead to a chain of suicides)- but instead i sent william a text message...i know, weird...so i just kinda drowned in a pool of self-pity until 6 when my parents woke up and put me to work...then i opened my eyes and told myself today is a new day...and suprisingly enough i am in a good mood...so the one guy i thought was meant for me doesn't love me anymore...so what? that only proves that God has something even better planned for me...i have complete and total faith that He has an even more incredible person out there for me, that would do anything just to see me smile...in other news, i have a lot to look forward to in these next couple of weeks...they will be pretty busy though...i have my powderpuff game monday  -(i am a wee bit nervous)-...tuesday i have ensemble practice && then our band concert ...wednesday rangers game! ...thursday is our band banquet ..friday-nothing that i know of...&& saturday is our band trip to the mall  ...well i'm gonna go
later*... | | |
| life*...
heyy*...how's life goin for you guys? good, that's grand...well i am as confused as ever...i like this guy -(kinda)- and he is a real sweetheart, the old-fashioned gentleman type some would say...but he is a wee bit older than i am...but i like him...so we're goin out which is cool...he is really nice, but when i look at what i think will be my future i still see myself with some one else...is that wrong? i can't control it...i just really can't...i dunno i just want some kinda explanation...or advice would be nice... | | |
| *et je l'aimerai jusqu'à mon jour de mort...*heyy*...whatz up? *nmh* i guess it's been a while since i updated this thing...so i suppose i will take a sec to update now...uhmm...a lot has changed in the past couple o' weeks...2 weeks from tomorrow Scott broke up with me...his dad supposedly didn't want him to have a girlfriend right now...which is kinda ironic considering Scott asked Jim before he asked me out && he was just fine with it...but oh well I'll wait for him -(or his dad)- if need be, although i fear he will not want me back...yeahh, i have been pretty torn up about it, but life goes on...well i have practice for powderpuff football tomorrow, derek says i will probably be the runningback...so i'm not sure how all that mess will go...the next 2 weeks will be pretty busy for me...monday-academic banquet...tuesday i have one act play performance...the 6th is my football game...9th - band concert...&& the 11th a banquet...&& various other activities scheduled in there...so yeah it will be pretty hectic, but maybe because i am busy that will keep my mind off things...well i'm gonna go...laterz*...
et je l'aimerai jusqu'à mon jour de mort...
-(french for && i will love him until my dying day)- | | |
| ~*picTures*~ -(ace and jace)- aka -(me and jacy)- -(ShaNaeNae && Shakira)- aka -(meagan and me)-
 -(scott and me...a while back)- -(jacy and dani in new orleans)-
 -(twins...me && jacy before the valentine's dance)- -(me && bubba who is really trent)-
 -(my band pic)- -(muh lucky star aka scott)-
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