I do not know if it is in your or Astrid wish for me to continue this site, but if it is, I would be delightful...Please tell me what is your wish. Also I will seach through my books and see if I am able to find any pictures. My mother wishes to thank you all. She cannot believe all the nice comments people have giving.

May 9th - Happy birthday Astrid. May your wishes come true...

People have wished to know what happened and since Astrid apparently was a loved and well respected person here on xanga it's my believe that you deserve to know.
Astrid passed away May 1st, late evening. She has been burried and now lays peacefully in the grave with her mother. Also her father did show up sober and have really started to think about his life. Not only has he lost the great woman of his wife but also a beloved and beautiful daughter. He turned himself into a centre for alcoholics today which is a start, but also too late.
Astrid have lived the past 9 months with Anorexia Nervousa. In february she seemd cured but a large depression and a bad flu, made her fall back and through march and april she went from 50 kg. to  25 kilograms. Though she always claims it was 30.
It has been difficult for me and my mother to be her friend. Of have she turned her back to me and often have she said she hated me, but I stuck to her because I knew that she just didn't mean it. My mother have tried to pick up the last pieces of Astrids and her fathers relationship but as no one seemed to coroporate she slowly left it to fate. My mother have struggled with a drunk father and girl who misses her mom so badly she also choose death. My mother was always a substitute and was ready to help Astrid. My mother was jut not the same and I don't believe she had to be.
It's soon Astrid's birthday and I wish to light a candle for her. She was beautiful and intelligent. She respected everyone and didn't expect to have anything in return. All she ever wished for was to see her mother.
Astrid left a huge bunch of letters written to her mother. I do not know if it was her intention for anyone to read them, but I believe it's a secret between her and her mother.

Life is just not how it seems to be...

Jen

Ps. And I know She would appriciate all your nice and beautiful comments....Thank you

Hi, I'm Jen....

I gave Astrid a promise to post this on her xanga site.

Dear mom!
I'm almost near you. Won't be long. I have failed most things....specially myself. I wish I had the strenght you have. You're so unreachable as you could be. Now I can reach you again when we meet in heaven, and I can again be held in your arms no longer as the child with a tear running down from my eye. I can be happy. I want you to know that we can look down on earth together. Look at Jen, how beautiful she is growing...and how strong she is. We can pretect her. She is so special....I wish I was like her too. Father. I wish he'd stop drinking. He was once so handsome. Maybe he will join us soo too. Then we can be a happy family again!!! 
....This earth have so many memories....good....bad....
Laughter....tears....broken promises....feelings....All what I have done through the years I will take with me....

Xanga did save me for a while. They did come with such nice comments....specially  guardianxangel hun, I tried. I really did....

Heaven is now where I belong....

Yours faithfully

Astrid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the memory of Atrid May 1st 1986-2002

"The Land"

Every day I dream away,
away to the land where no worries
troubles my mind.
nothing but nature..
wind, air, smells, flowers, trees and light
Where feelings is nothing to be ashamed of,
and where no foe's i to be found.

My paradis is yet to be found
I shall walk the streets everyday
I know they will lead me toward my paradise
To the land
nothing but nature
wind, air, smells, flowers, trees and light
Where feelings is nothing to be ashamed of
and where no foe's is to be found

One day I will find my paradise
In the arms of the man I love
I know my roads will lead me to him
and I shall find the land
nothing but nature..
wind, air, smells, flowers, trees and light
Where feelings is nothing to be ashamed of,
and where no foe's i to be found.