qzri's Xanga Site

Weblog

Sunday, April 27, 2008

a good question...

I was just catching up here on Xanga, and was reading Sybil's blog about what is the appropriate response when people ask you if you're having a good time when you're out somewhere.
I FREAKING HATE THAT QUESTION.
Seriously, it makes me feel like crap. Most of the time when I'm out somewhere it is at Alex's suggestion. Normally we go to "get-togethers" with I suppose what you would call "his" friends. THUS I rarely know people enough to have a meaningful party conversation with them. So, consequently, I sit on a couch or chair somewhere close to a wall and try to follow conversations around me.
It's not that I don't want to be there, it's just that I don't know very many people and trying to get to know someone while they're inebriated is insanely hard (usually comical) but insanely hard. Apparently, I must have this "look" on my face while I'm being a champion wallflower, because everyone comments on it. Usually to their friends beside them, and usually in a loud enough whisper so that I can hear them. Usually it's embarrassing.
"Look at her, she doesn't seem like she's having a good time."
"I wonder what's the matter with her?"
"Hey Alex! What's wrong with your girlfriend? Why's she so quiet?"
IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANY OF YOU DAMN PEOPLE AND WOULD MUCH RATHER BE AT HOME READING A BOOK OR WATCHING BRAVO....!"
I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't start pulling a Tommy Boy and strap road flares to my chest just to avoid invitations to such events... We'll see.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

icky words

Here's what was floating around in my cerebrum all day... (I'm allowed to use fancy anatomy terms...since I spend so much damn time learning them!)
Icky words...?
What are my top five "icky" words? When I hear these particular words, it is cause for instantaneous cringe. I know that we talked in class a while back about our favorite words (but I can't honestly pick favorites there...) so I went the opposite direction: icky ones.
For some reason, most of the following words are related in some way to the body. I'm not sure why that is as I have absolutely no problem discussing bodily functions and weird disease symptoms. Who knows?
1. pussy ( I ABSOLUTELY DETEST THIS WORD... I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO SAY IT)
2. diarrhea (not only is it an unpleasant thing to have, but it is unpleasant to my vocabulary as well...)
3. panties (I'm honestly not even sure why...)
4. breast (Especially when it's written into the hymn lyrics at church! Something like "Soul of my Saviour, Sanctify my breast" or "Rest, weary one, upon his breast..." and so on and so forth... is hard to sing in the house of God...)
5. sorry (I'm not saying that I don't like to apologize, because in my opinion if everyone did more of it, the world would be a better place, but I just hate how the word sounds and its bad connotation... once again, I'm not really sure WHY I don't like it... I just don't.)

Sunday, March 30, 2008

I should be...

Doing pretty much anything else right now.
I did not go home this weekend. I have wedding stuff that I should have worked on at home, but didn't go, so therefore, did not do it.
I have three tests this week.
I spent 4 hours on Friday night making notecards for my Biology test on Wednesday. I should have spent the same amount of time on Saturday making notecards for my Consitutional Law - Civil Liberties test that's on Friday, which I will have to take on Thursday because I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Which should give me all the more reason to work ahead, but I didn't.
I did five loads of laundry and cleaned our bathroom instead.
I should be apologizing to a certain someone for our retarded argument earlier. But I am not. Instead, I am at work, blogging on Xanga, and with each passing moment feeling worse and worse about myself.
I probably should have just gone home.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Haven't felt this depressed with writing since Comp. 110

My father thinks I should be a journalist.
Ha.
He obviously hasn't read my failed attempt at Literary Journalism.
Usually I love writing. The words. The structuring of sentences. Capturing moments on paper. All that jazz.
HOWEVER,
I have come to discover that Literary Journalism is not my cup of tea. First off, I was stumped to begin with. With my Memoir and Essay of Place I at least had starting ideas, but here... NADA. ZILCH. GOOSE EGG.
SO I did what any self-respecting 20 year old college student would do. I called my dad. (In my defense he is my sounding board for ideas, and usually his suggestions work wonders.)
He gave me some ideas, but I just wasn't feeling it. I equate it with Clearance shopping: you see that glorious red or yellow tag above a rack of clothes, "Yay!" you think to yourself, "Cheap clothes!" Yet as you finger through all of the discount garments, your heart starts to sink. None of them are "you." The inner shopaholic says to buy that shirt because its 60% off, but you just don't "feel" it.
Thats exactly how I feel about my piece. I'm actually scared to present it in class on Thursday. It plain sucks in my opinion. I don't think that its literary journalism at all.
Un-Literary Crap-alism is probably more like it.
BUT MY IDEA STARTED OUT REALLY COOL... trust me.
We were just talking about effective communication in my Sociology class on Monday. And since I am in absolute LUST with The Office right now, I wanted to try to capture how communication needs to be effective in an office setting. (Following the guidelines in the chapter, this is not something that I technically "know" about as I've never worked in an office setting before...)
Then I was going to be creative and input lines from The Office to fit in with the points I was trying to make.
SOOOOO....
How did it turn out so horribly wrong????
Dreading Thursday...
* bitch * bitch * bitch * bitch * bitch * (me complaining...)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

lost... in the weirdest kind of way

I was working on some notecards for my upcoming Child Development test, when I irritatedly realized something... one can get lost spelling a word.
The word causing all of my befuddlement today was independence. When I got to the part where there's a lot of repetition, I just keep blindly writing - end - or - pen -. I cannot tell you how many times I had to stop and start over again, count the letters and make sure they were in order, and WHITE-OUT!
I have gotten word-lost with some stunners like "banana" or "Mississippi" - but never before with "independence." Even now, my fingers falter over the keys as I try and spell it.
Anyway, that's my new term for the day: "word-lost."
[By the way, I have just recently started watching "The Office" online at nbc.com, and it is FABULOUS... I have seriously become an addict. And I thought Project Runway season was bad!]