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| i'm tired. that's pretty much the story of the past few weeks. I AM too busy, in most aspects. I don't like it. I don't get to do the things I like and I get stuck doing things I don't. Tonight I was asked what I regret most about my life, and I think I know now. I have wasted much of my life. Now by comparison I could say i've done a lot and not wasted much but for me personally, all this "stuff" I do and all the "things" I spend my money on (activities and items) are pretty much a waste in the ole' grand scheme. So I quit. That is, I quit this busy life, at least I am going to give it a shot. I'm tired of not having time to think and being too tired to think. I'm tired of getting so frustrated because I don't have time to chill and work things out. I hate that I don't have time to actively pursue God in prayer, study, and worship. My life is full of exciting but predominantly meaningless things. The friendships I don't really regret or wish to reduce in any way but even those can be detrimental. Basically I'm drained physically, spiritually, and mentally. I reached some sort of low point tonight and have no desire to be in it. So basically this calls for some simplification, starting with more sleep and contemplation, combined with less doing of meaningless, self-centered things. I need to re-evaluate lots of things and get back to where I can grow and be in the Spirit....something I cannot do in my current state of affairs. It's like I've had God over as a visitor in my home recently and for some reason I asked him to wait on the back porch. I forgot about him for a while but he just waited patiently to be let back in. Once in a while I would open the door and let him come in for a spell but then I would basically ask him to leave. In recent months it's more like I go to the back door, open it and invite him in, and right as he starts moving toward the door I quickly shut it. I want him to move in permanently but I'm always either asking him to leave or to wait outside. I want a close relationship but I keep isolating myself from him. In this respect, the most important of all, I fail repeatedly. But I can't quit trying. Father, Son, Holy Spirit be my guide. | | |
| hey everyone. weekend has been pretty uneventful. I went out to eat a couple times and worked friday and saturday, and other than that homework is about all I've done. i did get rested up though. and my truck may be ready tomorrow night so I hope milligan college has enjoyed the peace and quiet.
Here's my new site I will probobly start just using that one, I'm tired of racecakes7. <Check it out> | | |
| I saw a pelican fly through Hampton today. The mountains up there were beautiful though...complete cloudcover about 300 feet up the mountains and perfectly clear in the flood plain....the doe river was raging...probobly 5 or 6 feet above the usual 1 or 2 feet.
My humanities test today went pretty good. I went to work and now I'm home and very tired, but there are still more things to do.
Have a great weekend
how's the song and picture
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i skipped my first class today. (evil laugh)
tomorrow is the first humanities test 
I had free lunch at schlotzky's with my 'team' from milligan and then attended a going away gathering for John Ross at Opie's Pizza. I'll sure miss him. He's about my last friend to leave for college or enlistment so I guess my life will start revolving around MIlligan. My first OT test wa s ahit, and so was the first essay...i got lots of nice! 's written on my humanities paper...at the end and next to the thesis. that's good stuff. Tomorrow is the ghastly first-ever humanities section test . Tonight is all about studying for it.
Blessed are the peacemakers. Matthew
Do everything without complaining or arguing. Phillipians
http://promisedlanddairy.com/Graphics/PLDGroupNewLabel.jpg
....it does a body good. 1 bottle: 1000 calories, 28 grams protein, 36 grams of fat
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