I'm losing my effing mind...A long belated post from my trip in China. The 40 days was awesome!! Tibet was fun... despite spending half if on a train there and the other half looking at Tibetan temples! It was soo pretty though. Xi'an was kind of a disappointment. Spent majority of the time looking at old ancient chinese artifacts from various time periods. might i add those artifacts were (ceiling, wall, floor pieces/ or pots and pans). The Stone Warriors were pretty cool and so was mountain climbing one of the steepest mountains in the world. (it was basically like climbing a ladder). >< JuZhaGuo was pretty. Lakes, rivers, mountains and trees plus blue skies (kind of rare in China with its insane number of people) but it got boring after spending less than 10 hrs there. It was basically same thing over and over again. The other half of the time I spent with family- eating out, shopping (too much clothes shopping), watching tv, or admiring houses <= that's a big thing with my relatives. China was fun. Everyday kept me occuplied. Now I'm bored and losing my mind. I spend everyday doing nothing... it's causing me to have bad BAD thoughts about next year... it hasn't helped everywhere I've gone in china... my relatives are worried that I'm going so far away without really knowing anyone... haven't even seen the campus yet. >_< Not to mention never been that far away without parental supervision. I swear. I think reality is hitting me... since I have nothing to do right now but ponder. AHH!! Will I fail? It doesn't help when i look at my schedule and see all the classes i have to take (math, physics, chem, chem lab, humantities, p.e., frontier semiar class and maybe foreign language elective) >.< that's like 7 maybe 8 classes! AHH!! Then the whole dorm thing... what if I don't like my room mate? what if we don't get along? maybe i'll get a singles room... but what if i get a triple room? it doesn't help we're flying to vegas... then driving to pasadena. thus i can't really bring much. >_< Then the fact i won't know anyone. T.T It's been 7 years since I've been in this position. For 7 yrs i've found and established my comfort zone... found a place. Now I have to start from scratch... what if I don't fit in? what if I find out after 4 yrs I despise science and math? then what am I suppose to do? then there's my friends now... what if we grow apart... what if i get overly homesick... i can't really come home til mid december. what if i'm miserable for 2 and half months. I swear... being alone in this big house without anything to do... it's really affecting my mind. Oh yeah. Hp7 was really good. Though the ending.... err was... last ch seemed off. The last phase of the book appeared maybe rushed/ logic not her typical logic. Won't go further not want to ruin it for anyone. Signing out... | 
