ralahinn1's Xanga

Got notice that I'm getting an "Inspection" next week

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:39:01 GMT

I saw though that it's going to be the whole floor, so I'm not paranoid, and besides, except for a few things that I know still need work, I know I'll pass it, because I won't have those asshole family members around to keep me from work I know needs to be done. Sandy's dead, and the others don't know where I live, and Dot wouldn't do anything to keep me from doing my work.

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About Dot, I still don't know if she is home from the hospital or not. Since I know their situation right now, I'd like to invite them over for dinner once in a while. It would be good for them, and I won't waste some food, like I do now sometimes. I might talk to her when I can and see what she thinks.

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I plan to do more work on my site, I almost got it repaired. I think I can finish today, if I make time to do it.

I actually got alot accomplished today

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:33:50 GMT

I did some laundry, and paid some on my phone bill. I was waiting to get a new bill, but they didn't send one, so I just paid the first one I got. I know it's the "lion's share" of what i owe on it though, so I don't think they will complain,lol. I also picked up a loaf of bread on my way here. I still have some at home, but I'm getting low, and want enough to last at least a week.

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I wonder if they released Dot from the hospital yet. They told her she could leave today if everything was ok, or they might keep her until the 8th. I haven't heard anything from her yet.

Saw Dot today

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:44:06 GMT

Understandably, she's in pain, but her colors good, and she is back on her feet already, so she says they may let her go home tomorrow. I didn't see the babies, I thought it would be too stressful. Dot said some of Lucy's relatives have been trying to contact her about the babies, but they don't know that the babies already have parents. Besides, Barry and Lucy haven't gone out of their way to help Dot out anyway. I stay out of that whole mess myself, I don't need any more stress.

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I got a few more cleaning supplies before I saw Dot today, I tell you, even though at times it looks like I never clean(lol) I'm always doing something.

Everything else is ok, I may check out that block party in a little while, don't know though, it looks like it might rain.

Got a new betta fish

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:53:03 GMT

I forgot how small they are when you first get them. Lone wolf was almost 2 times the size this one is. The new one is mainly scarlet in color( on purpose, the last 2 betta I owned were blue with red fins). I have named him"Vincent", both after "Vincent Valentine" and after Quintin.

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Two women tried to pick a fight with me on the light rail today, I ignored them, and let them rage on in their ignorance. I don't know why two grown women had to display "bad manners". Sometimes I think it's because I am"white". Maybe they really don't know how to behave any different. Anyway, they got off the light rail before I had too, and they shut up when more white people got on,lol.

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They had the memorial service for the man I didn't know today, and someone had a"wake" for him where I live at, but because I didn't know him, and had lots to do, I didn't go( though the food did look good). I had thought that he died in a hospital, but I overheard two men saying that they found him dead in his room, and he'd been dead for a while. I am even more glad that I don't live on the 16th floor. It's funny, because I do know a woman(by sight) who does live up there, and about a week ago, she told me that there was a "bad smell"up there, and she hoped another pipe hadn't burst (one did a while back).

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The neighborhood is suppose to have a block party tomorrow night with free food( as part of the "national night out") I'm going to try to make it, after I visit Dot in the hospital. I got her a card, and I'm giving her a few dollars, and I got her a "word search" book because she used to like doing them, and I know it gets boring in hospitals. I'm going to let her borrow my copy of "Opening the X box" too, because she hasn't read it yet.

Dot goes in for surgery tomorrow

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 14:10:18 GMT

I'm praying that everything goes ok. She's not the first one in the family to have a C- Section. Janet had one when Britany was born, and she did ok. It's different though when it's your own daughter going under the knife. I know she is tough and can handle it, but to me, she's still the 5 year old girl I'd cry over when she'd fall and skin her knee.

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I'm worried about Cory too( Grey fox ninja on xanga.) His birthday is coming up and his grandfather( who he admires greatly) is very ill. I'm praying for both of them.I sent a Pm to him the other day, to let him know of some of the "sad" things going on in my life( the deaths around me, and my biopsy) and when he wrote back, he said he"missed me". I thought that was wonderful of him. He's such a good guy, I'm shocked that no girl around his own age gets serious with him. They are missing out on a lot ( still, at his age, I'd beout partying and not getting so serious,lol, I think there is a girl out there for him, he just hasn't found her yet, or she doesn't realize that he might be "the one").

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I heard of a horrible event. Some guy traveling on a greyhound bus the other day went nuts and killed and beheaded a fellow passenger. I didn't hear much about it in the local news, but I saw a pic of the kid that got killed( he had a myspace account) and I wonder why no one tried to stop the killer. I would have hit him in the head with a laptop or something.

An "Epic" thing happened on the bus today

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 13:24:37 GMT

I was riding into town, when this well dressed woman got on the bus, and as it drove away from the stop, she made a phone call. It really wasn't something to listen to, but one couldn't help it. She was pissed. She must have called her home because she was talking to her husband(bf?) and said when she got home she was going to have a serious one on one talk with him, and she wanted to know when he would have time to talk.He must have told her he was on the way out because she started to talk to him from the phone. she said"Listen up, I'm tired of paying hundreds of dollars every month buying food that you won't eat and I don't like and have to waste it, and when I'm doing something on the computer I don't want to be interrupted!. She then said, "don't tell me to shut up, I'm the one that pays all the bills there, you are going to go out and start looking for a job. Things are gonna change when I get home". I had to get off the bus at that point. I wished I could have heard more. I don't know that woman, but I say"good for her". Marriage( or shacking up) is suppose to be a partnership. No one with any self esteem wants to feel used or played. It's fine to be "devoted" to ones partner, and do special little things for them, but they should be helping you too, or you are being used. I don't plan to be anyone's kitchen bitch anymore myself. Sandy( my sister) use to let the man she was with do that"aw baby" stuff ( "Aw baby, you know I love you, I just made a mistake"etc). I was always more picky about the men I was with,lol.

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There was a note by the elevators when I got home last night that there was to be a "memorial" service for a resident who passed there recently. I didn't know him, but his name was"Frank" and he lived on the 16 floor. A woman said he had just got married 3 years ago. There are so many people in that building I might have seen him around and not known it.

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Lol, today, I actually feel pretty good. My sugar is down to 107 and I feel like I have more energy. I'm glad I'm taking the glipixide again because I think thats why my blood sugar has come down so much.

"Laugh Like a Child"

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:23:43 GMT

One of my current calendars has an "inspirational" word or sentence for each month. Last month was"Freedom"( for the 4th of July in the US). This month is, "laugh like a child". Thats something everyone should take time to do. Find something that will give you the simple joy of laughing. I have to remember to set aside the things I have been through,including the loss of 2 people I knew, and my pet, last month, and just find a time to enjoy a laugh as a child would. Luckily, the Maryland State fair opens up at the end of the month. I haven't been there in years. I might try to make it. As it is, I try to find simple things to enjoy every day. I still have times where I morn over the past, and wonder if things could have been handled differently( but then, since I believe that the outcome of things boils down to the"will of God" I have to trust that even the really"bad" things that I have experienced have a reason too)

I have been thinking( lol, as usual) of "Final Fantasy". In Final Fantasy VII, Cloud realizes that Sephiroth is "laughing". In fact Cloud says"He's laughing".Sephiroth, I think was laughing at what he felt was, at the time, a futile attempt to kill him. It was a very dark part of the story. What I didn't realize was that line "He's laughing" was also used in"Final Fantasy V"( I just beat it for the first time). I like how it was used there better. In that case, Krile and her friends were grieving the fact that though they"saved" the world, her grand father,"Galuf" was unable to return to life. They then realized that Galuf died the way he wanted to, and would have laughed at all of the fuss they had been making because he was gone.

When I think of people I know that have passed( or pets), I grieve. But, I also try to think of them in good memories. I know one day, I will see most of them again and I look forward to it. Lol, I need to be less serious on the whole and do more laughing.

Dot called today

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 20:46:16 GMT

She let me know that they moved up her c section to the 4th. I told her I'll visit on the 5th just to make sure she's ok. I hope they don't ask me to see or hold the babies, I don't think I could deal with it. She's getting"fixed" at that time too, so this won't happen again. I love Dot, but I never understood how she missed the concept of "birth control",lol. I guess she has always been extra fertile.

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I was thinking of Quintin all last night and today. I hope that the guy that killed him went to jail for a long time! No one should be allowed to drink and drive. My friend John("Bird") was killed like that a few years ago too.

Alot to write about, including the death of a fellow Xangan

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:03:35 GMT

This isn't what I wanted to start writing about...I have alot to write about for the past few days....but someone I talked to online sometimes has passed away. He was killed by a drunk driver:

http://www.xanga.com/VincentValentine6

My condolences go out to his friends and family ! He seemed like a very cool young man.

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Ok...now on to the past few days in my life:

I saw Dot on Tues.! She was here in the library, and she looks completely different from how I'm used to seeing her. She's got her hair cut short, and right now, it's dyed black, like mine. She told me she's going to give the twins up when they are born. I really wasn't surprised. She knows what she's having, a boy and a girl, and they are going to be born on Aug. 17( believe it or notWoodrow's birthday). Dot's going to have a c-section. She knows who is getting them too, and they already have names, coincidentally, the first and middle name of the boy have a family connection in our family( I told Dot about it) and the girls middle name will be"Josephine",like my grandmother( my middle name is"Jo" which is in honor of her, too, and is also a native american word for"sweetheart") . I hope everything goes well with them.Dot told me that Leetah and Stacy were in Maryland last week visiting Adrian. Dot said she didn't know about the visit until the day it happened, and she was "too ill" to go visit them too. She said Brian told her that Leetah doesn't like displays of emotion, like a hug. I think, why would she, the poor girl was stripped from all she knew and has lived with people she didn't know the first half of her life. She, like me, probly feels betrayed. Even though I'm not with her, I didn't lie when I called her my "special" grand daughter though. I love all of the grand children, where ever they happen to be, but I have no legal right to do anything for them, and if I try to get involved with them, it would just cause more heart ache. If any of them can find me though, I'll help them in any way I can. Leetah especially.

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I went to see a specialist yesterday, I was 13 minutes late for my appointment. I might have made it on time, except that the bus driver decided to get off the bus to argue with two drivers. She was still arguing with one of them when I got off the bus to take the subway.

I got a biopsy done.I still hurt inside, but yesterday, I was so whipped I just went home and went to bed. I was able to pick up my bus pass for next month though, so, no worries as far as that is concerned.

I'm going to travel around the net now,lol, and do a few things, so, laters....

What is something that you have been putting off for a long time?

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 14:50:33 GMT

going back to classes, finishing up getting furnature for my apartment, getting some pets.

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