Last night I was out shopping at Target to get a new phone when I perused through the book section and picked up the novel “Something Borrowed”. It’s a lighthearted read about a woman who just turns 30 and ends up sleeping with her best friend’s fiance and falling in love with him. While I in no way condone cheating of any kind, I found myself instantly identifying with the heroine. I ended up purchasing the book and stayed up til 1am and finishing it in one sitting.
One of the things I really identified with her was the idea of turning 30 and evaluating where your life has been and where it’s going. I know it’s just a number but it is somewhat of a significant milestone. In the book she is something of a goody two shoes and while a bit intoxicated ends up just giving into her feelings instead of evaluating whether it’s a good idea to do or not. Also the idea of being single still at 30 is a bit depressing for a lot of women. I think as young girls you imagine yourself being married already at that age. When you are younger it feels like you have all the time in the world but the prospect of going into your 30s you realize that time is very finite and in the best case scenario you’ve already reached a third of your lifespan. Time seems to accelerate at a dizzying speed. Suddenly all of life’s little choices start catching up to you. Your options which once seemed infiite are starting to narrow and you are headed in a certain direction whether you like it or not. You are starting to get set into your patterns and you’re a lot less resiliant to change.
Like her I used to be a goody two shoes in high school and college. I was sort of the overachiever. I think the point where I broke out of that mold was when I decided to take two months off to go backpacking in Europe. I’d have to say that was the best decision of my life and the most fun times ever. I learned to think with my heart instead of my head and was forever changed by those experiences. Life is definitely short and I didn’t want to regret not living it to the fullest. Coming back from that trip though I was a bit lost and your 20s is definitely the time for finding yourself. But I’ve developed some confidence and am starting to come into my own. I think two important goals that I have for myself to reach by this point was one to find a job that I love and two to find a man I love.
As for the first goal…I can finally say that I am really happy with my career. I kind of fell haphazardly into it and it was definitely not what I would’ve thought I would do in my childhood dreams. But I love how I can be intellectual and creative at the same time. I like that there are times when I can relax and just socialize with coworkers but other times where I am challenged enough that I’m not completely bored out of my mind. I have some flexibility and there are some perks that I do enjoy. I have a goal that I am working towards (I’d like to be an R&D Director at some point) and I’d like to do some teaching on the side at a community college after I get my masters. And financially I am happy with my salary at this point although I’ll be completely satisfied once I reach six figures but I’m pretty close and that’s definitely an attainable goal in a few years time especially after I get my masters.
And for the second goal…I’ve learned a lot about relationships. Like most, I suffered a little bit of heartbreak along the way but everything that’s happened so far has lead me to where I am today and for that I am greatful. I am in a wonderful relationship and can say that I am head over heels in love with my boyfriend. I think I used to have too unrealistic an idea of what love was. I envisioned overly romantic gestures straight out of a movie which always left me with a slightly dissatisfied feeling since my lofty expectations were never quite realized. But I’ve realized that love is in the little day to day mundane things that he does. It’s the little thoughtful things that are more important than grand, showy exhibitions. And more importantly you can’t compare him to what anyone else does…he is unique in how he expresses his love and consideration of you. You need to appreciate him for what he does do instead of getting mad at him for what he doesn’t do. And I really love that he makes me want to be a better person. I always want to spend more time with him but it’s good that we have our own seperate individual lives too apart from each other. And even when we argue we can always talk things out and come to a mutal agreement, even if it’s just to agree to disagree. The one thing I still need to work on is to not always feel that I am on a timeline. I need to relax a bit and just enjoy things as they come. It’s a bit hard when you keep on attending weddings (I just got another invitation! That’s 3 so far and 3 more to come this year). I have a vague sense of falling behind my peers but I just need to accept that things will happen when they happen. No point in rushing.
Finally the last issue that the book explored was friendships and how they change and evolve. I have to admit that I’ve been a bit slacking in this department. With work, school, the new place…it’s just been difficult to juggle finding enough time to develop and nurture the different friendships I have. But I am trying and really do appreciate all those special moments and memories that I’ve shared. So while I’m somewhat trepiditious about the looming 30th birthday in September because I feel that I haven’t accomplished everything I thought I would by then, part of me is also excited and happy about what’s to come. I definitely plan on celebrating in style =P
For labor day weekend I have plans to go up to SF…so all you SF peeps let me know if you have time to meet up. Before I start my new job…I’ll have 5 days off from 9/3 to 9/7. Still trying to decide what to do. I might meet up with friends either in Seattle or Philadelphia. Or maybe do a solo backpacking trip somewhere. If you have the time off…let me know and maybe we can plan a spontaneous trip somewhere.
Need to get outdoors more…summer seems to be going by so quickly.