Had a great party on Saturday night with Lindsey's grandparents.   It was a blast.  We had barbequed ribs and all the fixin's.  It was a blast.  The coconut cream pie didn't stand a chance.  More amazingly, the house is clean, even after having a party.  Thanks so much to the constant help from Lindsey!

Started playing Kingdom of Loathing - it is hilarious and fun.  The game is great, but spend time in the game and/or trade channels in chat - there are many opportunities there to improve your game.  Check it out, and let me know what you think of it.  www.kingdomofloathing.com.

Went to church for the second week in a row yesterday.  Service was better this week than last week, I didn't have anything to complain about.  We might try to make First Family Church our church home, but Lindsey's grandmother thinks we should check out Lenexa Christian.  We might give that a shot.

Miss you all - will be checking your sites and leaving comments soon!

Wow - It's been a long time.  I've been crazy busy, so it's not too much of a surprise the updates haven't been frequent.

I got the projects mostly done at my house, and got the appraisal back better than what I needed for the loan.  I am in the finalization process for getting the loan - pray for good results.

I helped Lindsey's Aunt and Uncle remodel their bathroom - it was a lot of work, but it looks way better.  They were all the way out in Wellsville, which meant that I spend many late evenings there, ensuring I don't have to drive 30 minutes more frequently than necessary.

I've been on-call 5 of the past 6 weeks... and it's making me crazy.  I'm night on-call this week, and of course, things are busier now that it's the weekend.  It's a new on-call for me, too - an application I've never worked with before, and now I'm debugging issues. 

I've been trying to come up with an idea that would allow me to work for myself, and make enough money to live, and actually enjoy what I am doing.

Hopefully, once I close on the house, and get off the high end of the pager rotation, I will be able to assimilate back into society, and back into my circle of friends.  I miss everyone, thanks for being patient with me.

Currently Listening Lost and Found By Will Smith Switch see related

Say a prayer, cross your fingers, sacrifice a tomato, lend a helping hand - whatever you feel like doing would be appreciated.  Thursday I will begin the major process of cleaning my house from top to bottom, while completing the laundry room project I started a few months ago.  I am in the process of applying for a mortgage, which requires I have an insurance estimate and appraisal done, and want the house to be clean and happy and finished when they come out to inspect.  There are about 4,000 different projects that need to be done, and about 5 days to do them in.  Hence the mass request for you all to contact God or gods or luck or fate to get them on my side!  I appreciate your efforts.

I have been in a real funk lately, and I think it's that my priorities have been out of whack.  My new goal is to make living TODAY my priority.  I am going to choose to be happy in the situation that I find myself in, because, honestly, it is where I should be right then and there, and my being grumpy about it does not make it any more tolerable.  Anybody who knows me knows that this is likely a pipe-dream, and I may never reach this point, but hey, lofty goals are good once in a while, right?  (am I pressing my luck with twice in a while?  oh well, typical Steve).

Hope life is a bowl of cherries, or a can of peaches, or a spring day in the garden... pick your preference.

Good news in life.  Average news at work.  Great news in relationships.  Too much to put on here.

Later,

Steven

Had my friends Mike and Lisa (and their cute little kiddos) over tonight.  They were helpign me make a dent in the mess that has been consuming the majority of my house.  I have found furniture and floors that I haven't seen in quite some time.  Mark and Geoff also came over and helped for a little bit.  Might have Mike and Lisa back tomorrow, which would be great - things are progressing along finally, and I'm excited that the end is in sight.  I would like the house to be tidy, if not completely clean, when Lindsey gets here next, so I don't have to worry about the house and can focus on her while she's here.

Played poker tonight.  It was fun to mingle with friends again.  I convinced Lauren to come, so she could pick up a pair of shoes she'd left at my house from the last time we'd gone to swing (way back in December sometime).  I think she enjoyed playing, and her glasses look really good - she did a great job picking them out.  Dang Cynthia for beating me to calling her four-eyes!

I feel like I've been "stuck" lately - for lack of a better word.  Until tonight, I'd made very little (if any) progress towards cleaning my house.  I make huge strides here and there with different projects, but they don't always feel like they improve my quality of life as much I might have expected...  the plumbing is an example of that - yes, it needed to be upgraded, but, aside from the new tub faucets, everything looks the same superficially.  Perhaps that is an analogy for what is going on in my life right now - superficially, things are staying the same, but deep down, a lot is changing.  I've been stressed ou about work - I don't know if this project is over my head, or if I will make a huge breakthrough in the next couple of days, but something's gotta give, and it's going to happen soon.  I feel like I need to spend more time with friends and family, but never know when to "fit" them in my schedule.  At the same time, I feel so "weird" that I'm not sure I even want to face them, for fear they may see how big a mess I am on the inside.  I guess the superficial mess in every part of my life is showing the internal struggle that I am dealing with.  My counselor says that I am dealing with a natural grief process, because of my grandmother's recent passing, and that I am reevaluating the priorities in my life.  Fortunately, I have found a place of support in the woman that I love - and I appreciate everything she does to help me, even when she doesn't realize she is helping me.  I thank God for her everyday.

Speaking of God - I know my life is a mess because I'm trying to control it - and the more I try to control it, the more out of control it gets.  I need to change strategies - I need to let go and let God deal with things for me.  It's so hard for me to do - easy to say, but hard to do.  I am going to start devoting more of my time to God and see where things go from there.  I am seriously considering starting a middle of the week Bible study - I hope that people will come and join me. 

If you've read all of this, thanks for staying with me.  My friend Gina explained things best - my head is full of popcorn, some popped kernels, some not, and everything is getting tossed about by the kernels that are popping, and I can't keep any of it straight.  It feels like ideas, concerns, and thoughts bounce around like the lotto balls in their little box, being blown about to be perfectly "randomized" - boy, life will be completely scary if my thoughts become completely randomized!  (I'm random enough already).

I miss all of you.  I'm sorry I've been so distant of late. 

Currently Playing Evan & Jaron By Evan & Jaron The Distance see related