everything is fine between me and david

it was just all a big misunderstanding. I talked to him Monday about it.

And I should have never believed them. And should have just believed Tim from the beginning.

No more school. Have to watch my brother all summer.  yippe...same as last summer thlough. Dunno how much I am getting a week. ALst sumemr it was 50$. I'm hoping for more this summer..highly doubt it. Not like im gonna see much of it anyways.

Umm...Dunno what else there is to say.

SO i'm gonna now. Hopecully gonna go to Mall, Target, and Kohls today. Birthday shpiing, Davids birthday present, and a swimsuit. And maybe...a little shopping of my own....heh.

*from my greatestjournal*

i cant stop crying.
he read that entry to him today, the one i wrote yesterday. and then said that we are taking a break..i dont want to take a break. i want to be with him. but he thinks that this will help us, and that we will have a better relationship because of it. i can not stop crying now...
i dont want to be crying right now...its not like we are breaking up. we are just taking a break for a little while. im not sure how long...i wish i did...but i don't know...he said for about a week...i dont know how long it will last exactly...
he wants me to figure stuff out...and he thinks that if we take a break, then i could figure stuff out...
im trying not to cry...its a good thing its just me and my sister home...cause she wont notice...
i just want him here with me, holding me, making me feel better, telling my that it will be all right...

ya know..i just thought of something...earlier today at lunch, alyssa asked me if me and him were still together...she thought that i broke up with him cause she didnt see us together....that same day...we take a break...

*from my one friends journal*
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?

commit suicide


im gonna go now...and i dont know...try to stop crying i guess....

its been 19 days...or atleast around there...
and i've wanted to do it.  I remember once..i actually got the pencil shapener and the nailcutters *use them to take pencil sharpener apart, and use the blade in there to cut* and i started to take it apart..but then i stopped and put it away...

i'll write more.....whenever....

COMMENT LEFT BY KAYLA:

bailey,

I know a lot of shit happens in family, and things that most not if all teenagers go through. But see, life is gonna keep getting more stressful as it goes on through highschool and career. If you dont find another way to deal with family arguments etc..well like the other said..I think you need to get rid of the razor in your room so it is not as accessable (cant spell today) and it wont be tempting to you when you are bored. Try it. Keep it away from you, and try directing your stress in other..more productive ways, because if not as life gets more stressful etc you are gonna cut more and more.

I'm always here for you too :)

Life's not as bad as it may seem.. keep that in mind. It will pass.

kayla

MY RESPONSE TO KAYLA:

thanks kayla...
and i did get rid of the razor..and i haven't done that in a little over 2 weeks...and im hopeing that i can continue without doing this...and im trying to do other things than cut...and i am really really hopeing it works. i am done with this shit...and i nkiow things are gonna get more stressful. and that all of this shit will eventually pass.
and thanks...im here for you too if you need me...

*maybe that will help with the confusion...*