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rbrockon16
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Name: Rachel
Birthday: 12/8/1930
Interests: praising God, soccor, rockclimbing, guitar, playing dodgeball, talking, youth group, eating :), games, TWISTER...
Expertise: talking......acting.......art
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  rbrockon16
Member Since:
12/10/2004
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| Lost World Regained (xanga) hahawow. this thing has changed so much. i was completely lost trying to find stuff! haha then i went and checked out everyone else's xanga and i was like wow..this thing is OLD. aha but anyways...i KNOW noone is going to read this (except MAYBE aaron) but i really like to spread out my thoughts in order to maybe help organize them in my own brain..? if that makes sense.
the real question: what am i doing BACK on xanga?
well, i got this email saying that they missed me here at xanga (which you know is true because they are losing peoples interest fast..or should i say, LOST) so i was like, what the heck, ill check it out. so there yah go!
now the question is...why am i creating a blog?
hmm..i guess with myspace its not really letting people know what is happening in your life than it is just talking. talking doesnt always cover what's going on.
so. here is my entry!
well, since thursday, october 12, 2006 a lot has happened. i don't even remember who i was back then! i mean i know i've learned a lot and changed but i can't really explain why or how. it's just a process that takes place without your notice.
The past year, 2006-early 2007 i was struggling with hatred. I know, so shocking for her, right? well, it's true. People can hurt you so badly with what they say, even though everyone goes around acting like a brick wall when really they are just a sponge. People i hated?
Mr. Bilotta.
Mr. Shrom.
my mom
my dad
my teachers
i guess i hated every person at some point..
i don't know why...if i was drifting away from God or what but it just like..was like heart acid (possible poem? haha..sorry...off track), i wasn't emo at ALL, i loved laughing and everything normal..but you know when people hurt you, you feel a wall building up around your heart so that you can't get hurt again, and sometimes along with that wall comes hate in order to try and overcome the hurt.
so that year it was like i wasn't good enough. like i couldn't get the good grades, i couldn't say the right things, i couldn't be the good daughter, i couldn't be a nice friend, it was all i couldn'ts. what it boiled down to is that i couldn't be good enough. and that is what i got into my head, so that is how i lived. i started to just give up with homework and school and trying to be nice to people. to my friends i probably came off as a total butthole...now i know this isn't what you see when you look at Rachel. i don't have any clue what you see but im sure it wasn't that.
So what's up with now?
i've decided to can the whole "liking" thing. i was struggling with that too. i liked 2 people for about a year and it's so EXHAUSTING, and i mean if its not God's plan, it's going to fail anyways, so why throw away your heart for no reason? I've seen sooo many relationships break up and i can't help that when 2 people get together that i know i alwayss know they are going to break up. (not in some circumstances- God backed relationships) and it kills me how they still do it even though it will end in nothing. Also? I'm trying to get into shape...i knoww im not fat, but i really think i could get into shape. start running, eating a little better?? (aside from the super bowl party coming up) haha...SOCCER is coming up...haven't played for a team in ages..i am so excited. I've picked up playing the guitar again after 2-3 years of not doing so....it's going pretty well, i got a new guitar for Christmas..OH! and i got a cell phone for my birthday. I AM 16!!! the last time i wrote in here i was what? 14? huh...
well anyways, already it is a very long blog? idk what they call it on here, maybe its the same..so i guess i will write later when i have something to write about! :)
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| ok. so i think its time for another update, even though NOONE reads these anymore...but i dont know what to update about...hmm...i think there is a game over at the hamburg park, because the lights are on...sorry, haha that probably sounded pretty random just then, but i looked out my wondow and its kinda shining in my eyeballs. anywys, im gonna go now-due to reading a book (a good one) so i guess ill see you ALL laterrr | | |
| well, im bored, and i am continually procrastinating to do my homework, so im going to update on xanga :) anywassss....school is good so far, i guess. as good as its gonna get.....this 3rd grader named lance on the bus told me he liked me the first day, that was kinda strangee....this was our conversation.. Lance: hi Rachel: hi Lance: do you want a sticker?
Rachel: nah, that's ok Lance: pick one. Rachel: uhh...that one (picked the blue star sticker) Lance: i like you
(didn't know how to respond...uhh) Rachel: i like you too....as a friend Lance: i like you as a girlfriend girlfriend. do you like me? (turned around, looked out the window and ignored him for the rest of the ride) got to school, he tugged on my backpack, and my busdriver told him not to touch people. and that was the end of it.........THANK GOD! anywayss...that was my storyyy....peace! | | |
| nicole is here :) yay. anyways. bye | | |
| welllll, i havent updated in this xanga for a while, so i guess i could do that. soo...lately i have been pretty busy, and when i wasnt busy i was bored
....well...i went to nicole's pool party then, i went to the school picnin that was fun even though only tori came....i went to knobles for last weekend (awesome) andd...now everyone is back in school (im not) so i have absolutely nothing to do!!!!! uughhh...oh well. i just really hope that my friends at church dont draw away into their "school world".........because i have really gotten closer to all of them over the summer, and if they did i would be incredibly sad.  anyways....i guess ill just pray about it. God always knows what to do  haha....ok, well, i guess i will talk to you all later (not like anyone reads xanga anymore) except for maybe nicole...bye!
~banana peel | | |
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