Peer sucks.

Yes, steady updating of the Xanga. Shocking, right?  <-- So cute.

So.. this week has sucked so far. I'm sick as a dog thanks to all the pollen & I have to work all weekend. Friday - 5-9:30, Saturday - 4-9:30 and Sunday - 12-6:30. I appreciate the hours, considering we've only hired 7 people[I was the last one] but.. I don't know, maybe this just isn't the job for me. Or maybe it's just because I'm sick. Or because I haven't gotten any money yet, so it doesn't feel worth it. I should be getting a check on Friday, but.. I don't know. I didn't work all that much last week anyway.

I seriously need to clean up my room some more. I cleaned a little before I went to work yesterday, but it's still embarassing. I was completely mortifyed when George came over the other day, and no one ever comes over because my room is a dump. I don't know what I was thinking.

Wishlist - which I might actually buy thanks to jobs.

+ http://www.torrid.com/torrid/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302030156&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442156187&bmUID=1181163542858
+ http://www.torrid.com/torrid/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302030156&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442156591&bmUID=1181163601053
+ http://www.torrid.com/torrid/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302024172&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442136184&bmUID=1181163726256
+ http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302028402&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442154475&bmUID=1181164556391
+ http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302028429&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442159437&bmUID=1181164668571
+ http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302028429&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442158937&bmUID=1181164705923
+ http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302028429&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442156745&bmUID=1181164781371

This must be meant to be!

Currently Reading True Believer By Nicholas Sparks see related

It's been a hell of a long time since I last updated this thing. Lots of stuff has happened. Not doing so well in school.. too much has been going on. I'll be okay for next year, though. Senior year for me has been designed to be a breeze, though the two maths may kill my soul a little bit.

I have a job now. I work at Yankee Candle, and I make more than a lot of people I know. I sort of feel bad. I'm glad I have some kind of money coming in, though, since camp hasn't started yet. My parents can pay for all the important things, and I'll buy myself clothes and whatever else my heart may desire.. at least, product wise.

Still no boyfriend, though a few people have asked me out.. I refuse to be desperate. I know who I want. ..however difficult being with him may be. I'm willing to pay the price; it's more than worth it. I love him, and I don't throw the word "love" around. He makes me so happy, but just attempting, talking to him.. makes so many people angry with me. It isn't fair to me; I haven't done anything to anyone & it's not like I'm out to hurt him or use him. And it isn't fair to him either. I suppose if it's meant to be, it'll all work out.

Currently Reading Ghost Soldiers: The Epic Account of World War II's Greatest Rescue Mission By Hampton Sides see related

1.) Wake up
2.) School
3.) Scrapbooking/ROTC running around
4.) Chilling with ROTC kids 'till parent meeting
5.) Dinner at Camp Robin with mom's cooking class
6.) More chilling with cool ROTC kids
7.) Parent meeting

Grades I know
- Short stories: A
- History: B+
- ROTC: A (of course!)

I need to get into Rutgers. I also need to take the SATs at some point, then retake them senior year. So much planning, planning ..

But where does happiness fit in? I've mastered the mask I need for public relations, and that's all. I feel very neutral to everything as of late unless it makes me extremely angry or sad. I don't have any shame, if I screw something up I just don't care. I guess that's just it - I don't care. I wish I could just get excited about Christmas, or ANYTHING AT ALL for that matter. I wasn't excited about band camp, D.C., Halloween .. I just didn't feel it. Even my birthday was just another day. Just another day .. I want to be excited about my wedding or something! I don't know what to label these feelings as.

Whatever.