Currently Listening Among My Swan By Mazzy Star see related

relationships are investments

they are.  physically, emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. 

for a person who claims to love another to an aching degree, 30 minutes is a small investment.  comfort, discomfort, shmumfort.  excuses, excuses.  it's a small investment.  period. 

investment analysts want their clients to be secure with the variety in their investment portfolio, and so it is for a woman (and for a man, but i especially address a woman's needs since i am one).  we need to feel secure from a variety of angles in a relationship.  if a man refuses to take steps to provide that security, how can a woman say "yes" to a lifetime? 

perhaps the physical investment is secure.  out of all four, that's the easiest part; therefore, it takes no special talent on anyone's part, so in the grand scope of things, it's not worth that many kudos.  what about the mental investment?  perhaps that is secure as well.  the conversations are interesting.  the intellectual stimulation exists.  so, we add some kudos to the bag.  it just so happens, though, that my emotional security is left wanting.  i need to feel understood.  my emotional needs are connected to my spiritual side.  they are connected to my physical being and to my mental well-being.  i will be happy KNOWING and FEELING that i am understood. 

how can i be willing to invest hours, days, and years if a man isn't willing to invest 30 flipping minutes a week?  you're willing to invest that amount of time riding the elevator with complete strangers each week, but you can't do that for someone you claim to LOVE?  you're willing to stand in line for 30 minutes each week ordering fruit smoothies from complete strangers to satisfy your physical needs, and yet you can't do that to satisfy one you claim to love?   

i'm just very disappointed.  even surprised.  a bit frustrated, and definitely dumbfounded.  what a way to massacre hope! 

the measure of a man is not in times of comfort but during times of distress and challenge?

sure it is.  it's also a measure of a woman. 

life is not always peachy.  as a female, i measure the value of a man very much by how he handles situations.  being practical, i know life involves rough periods, and how a man handles those periods will either cause my respect for him to grow or to fade.  a 60 year old man could become a ball-less, trite, sniveling child in my view just as well as a 19 year old could become a hero.  it matters not the nature of the relationship... whether the male is my friend, my father's friend, an acquaintenance, a work-mate or a future mate, etc.  a person will earn my respect by integrity, maturity and patience.   

what if i am the source of distress or challenge?  again, personalities are different.  they will clash at times.  as a woman, i am looking to see how you handle me.... the full embodiment of the challenge i present.  b/c i know.  I KNOW that we are a challenge.  we think and speak in a way that perplexes the male gender.  perhaps you are distressed because i responded in a way you did not understand or appreciate.  perhaps i said something that pricked your ego or conscience.  maybe i was thoughtless and said something hurtful.  i am not perfect, you know?  what will you do?  what will you say?  how will you handle the situation?  will you stand stubborn?  will you be gentle and forgiving?  will you back your words with actions?

an ancient proverb states, "an answer when mild turns away rage."  isn't that true?  have you ever experienced a person who responds in a kind manner when you've been contentious?  i have.  it's melting.  adding actions or words that are fuel-like makes the "fire" stronger, larger and more damaging.  on the other hand, a calm response contributes to the fire's going out.  it could very well cause the person who has been nasty to rethink his or her unkind actions.  it may even evoke an apology.  i have been the recipient of such apologies, and i have also been the deliverer of such apologies. 

how very good it is for a person to be able to apply the qualities of love, kindness and patience when dealing w/difficult situations.  the application of such qualities can very well disspell the problem instead of adding to its intensity. 

i plead temporary insanity

love can make us cuckoo bananas.

it can make us want to wring someone's neck (in the most loving way possible)

it can even make us a little evil.

the making of "Ribbons", part 1

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