the measure of a man is not in times of comfort but during times of distress and challenge?

sure it is.  it's also a measure of a woman. 

life is not always peachy.  as a female, i measure the value of a man very much by how he handles situations.  being practical, i know life involves rough periods, and how a man handles those periods will either cause my respect for him to grow or to fade.  a 60 year old man could become a ball-less, trite, sniveling child in my view just as well as a 19 year old could become a hero.  it matters not the nature of the relationship... whether the male is my friend, my father's friend, an acquaintenance, a work-mate or a future mate, etc.  a person will earn my respect by integrity, maturity and patience.   

what if i am the source of distress or challenge?  again, personalities are different.  they will clash at times.  as a woman, i am looking to see how you handle me.... the full embodiment of the challenge i present.  b/c i know.  I KNOW that we are a challenge.  we think and speak in a way that perplexes the male gender.  perhaps you are distressed because i responded in a way you did not understand or appreciate.  perhaps i said something that pricked your ego or conscience.  maybe i was thoughtless and said something hurtful.  i am not perfect, you know?  what will you do?  what will you say?  how will you handle the situation?  will you stand stubborn?  will you be gentle and forgiving?  will you back your words with actions?

an ancient proverb states, "an answer when mild turns away rage."  isn't that true?  have you ever experienced a person who responds in a kind manner when you've been contentious?  i have.  it's melting.  adding actions or words that are fuel-like makes the "fire" stronger, larger and more damaging.  on the other hand, a calm response contributes to the fire's going out.  it could very well cause the person who has been nasty to rethink his or her unkind actions.  it may even evoke an apology.  i have been the recipient of such apologies, and i have also been the deliverer of such apologies. 

how very good it is for a person to be able to apply the qualities of love, kindness and patience when dealing w/difficult situations.  the application of such qualities can very well disspell the problem instead of adding to its intensity.