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| God says....Play Ball!
I was speechless for 2 full minutes. The infield dirt smelled so goooood. I was standing in Row 1; one section from the astros dugout on opening day as Clay Walker belted the National Anthem. And only 5 minutes earlier I approached the stadium w/ out a ticket just hoping I could somehow get a glimpse of the game or with a little luck perhaps a standing room only ticket.
As I approached the stadium my ticketless hand began sending discouraging messages to my brain with only 8 minutes till the first pitch. My heart fought back with erratic ideas that required drastic measures which could only be successful with significant risk.
Ambition stepped up to the plate and I found myself standing on a 4 foot high concrete baseball making a significantly loud appeal to those whom have ears to hear. My public appeal began "Fellow Astros fans......." and ended with an almost uncontrollable "....thank you!" I still don't remember the exact words to my appeal, but I do know that 30 seconds later a ticket was unexpectedly thrust into my hand. As I looked up a middle-aged man was standing next to his 8 year old son and his soft voice uttered "I think you'll be happy with this ticket. Enjoy the game!" 5 minutes later I was standing in Row 1; one section from the Astros dugout on opening day as Clay Walker belted the National Anthem:)
The man urged me to call another friend because he still had another ticket he'd like to give away. Within seconds I was on the phone with my Astros buddy, Nate. And 15 min. later Nate, me, Greg, and his son, Hank we're talking baseball, eating sunflower seeds, and high-fiving home runs. Thanks God - I needed that! But then again, that's why you did it. | | |
| Ticket Dismissed!
8:00am - Arrive in courtroom and wait three hours before they even look at my case.
11:00am - Prosecutor offers me $200 flat fine. I told her I'm going to turn it down because I'm absolutely confident that the evidence on my laptop computer will easily turn a not guilty verdict from the jury.
11:25am - Prosecutor offers me $150 fine to be paid within 30 days. I told her I'll have to turn down that offer as well.
1:30pm - I'm told the officer is checked in and ready to testify when the trial begins. I approve and roll up my sleeves. It's GO time.
2:30pm - I'm very suspiciously called up to the bench and the judge tells me the officer is present but is NOT going to testify. Strange, huh?
2:45pm - The clerck calls me forward and tells me my case has been suddenly dismissed.
This is very strange indeed. I'm still not sure what actually happened. I'm glad the case was dismissed but I felt strangely unsatisfied that my visions of a jury eating from my hand as I eloquently pronounce my innocence is now lost in a sea of memories that didn't quite make it to reality.
Other quotes I overheard while in the courtroom:
Prosecutor: "Why did you even think of writing this ticket - you know it can't stand up in court?"
Officer #1: "Why not?"
Offcer #2: yeah, normally they just pay it.
Prosecutor: "So you're telling me that the city ordinance defines certain overpasses as viaducts, and viaducts aren't considered public roadways and therefore this speeding ticket has to be thrown out because the violation occurred on an viaduct?" That's the tecnicality he's going to get away with?"
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| The State of Texas vs. Chip Simmons
Tommorrow morning at 8am I embark to defend myself against an unjust accusation in courtroom #11. And below I submit my statement and video evidence that will be submitted to the jury. If you were on the jury what would you do?
Statement/Testimony: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I realize that I'm at a significant disadvantage here today as I'm positioned/defending myself against an expert trial prosecutor. I know that it would have been much easier simply to pay the fine and never again have to think about this ticket again. My reasons for being here today aren't to fight the system or be some kind of vigilante for unjust traffic tickets. I'm here today simply because my moral ethic will not allow me to look the honorable Judge Geeye in the eye and publicly proclaim "guilty beyond a reasonable doubt".
Arguement of the defesnse: If the city of Houston is going to fine its residents for traffic violations it must be held responsible to keep and maintain well-lit and consistent signage. And today I will submit for you videotape evidence of the intersection of Westheimer and Shepherd that I was cited for making an illegal left turn. This videotape was taken at the same time and under the same conditions as when I received the ticket. As you watch the first video you should be able to see a specially lighted sign which designates "No Left Turn". This was not the intersection I was ticket for but rather an example of a well-maintained intersection less than 2/10 of mile from Westheimer/Shepherd. The second video is the exact intersection I was cited for the illegal left turn. Please watch the second video closely and try to find the "No Left Turn" sign.
Closing Statement: IF THE SIGN AIN'T LIT YOU MUST ACQUIT!
**I GUESS YOU HAVE TO CLICK ON "VIDEOS" ON THE MENU BAR IF YOU WANT TO VIEW THEM **
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!
*** I just got back from the courtroom and Judge Geeye refused to hear my case today because he said the dockett was too busy. He then re-set my case back to the original court date on 3/28. ugh. Another month of waiting and anticipation.
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| My First Bar Brawl
On Friday night I experienced my first bar brawl. I was at spotlight karaoke just after midnight on westheimer and my beautiful friends Megan and Tiffany were singing their hearts out onstage when it all went down. It was really quite interesting to watch as the fighting spread from one table to the entire floor. Fists started flying, glasses broke, tables were tossed, and testosterone went through the roof. I found myself looking for escape options but they were rather limited the way the fighting was spreading.
And the feeling of my adrenaline soaring felt good as I could only thinking of how to protect the girls if things really started getting out of hand. To Megan's credit she kept right on singing her song until they turned off the machine and turned on all the lights as the DJ tried to calm everyone down. Of course, after the fighters were kicked out and the machines turned back on the owner decided everyone should get a round of free drinks:) After a 15 min. clean-up the everything was back to normal and Mr. Lee was stomping out those Frank Sinatra notes once again at the grand ole Spotlight Karaoke. | | |
| A Soupy Circus with Random Russian Women
If anyone is planning on writing a musical about soup I wish they could have been at Randall's on Westheimer with me today. I watched about 30 russian women unload from a tour bus for a little afternoon grocery store stop. All was calm until they saw....the soup bar....with FREE samples.
The word spread quickly among them as I watched the invasion of the soup bar. Small plastic sample cups and ladles clanking high in the air. I was thoroughly enjoying the scene from a safe distance when one of the ladies approached me with eager excitement before blurting out "Free Soup!" In accented broken english she asked "Do you want some free soup?"
I left the scene to do some shopping and returned to find all (3) soup bins gone. As I made one final pass I found the attendant had cleaned the soup bar and re-filled them. With peace restored I decided to sample the mushroom soup. I saw one of the russian women peer around the corner as she discovered the re-filled soup bins. Within 45 seconds the women re-emerged and joined me at the soup bar. As the word spread and new soup pandemonia began break I slipped away having enjoyed the scene much more than the mushroom soup.
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