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reveriefille
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read my profile
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Birthday: 9/17/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, listening to music, being a dork, watching hours of Disney Channel at a time....
Expertise: B.A. in psychology. I'm the youth director at Trinity and Town Point UMC. I also made a pretty cool climbing harness for my teddy moose, Belay.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
5/5/2003
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| But before I goI just clicked back to my first entry on xanga. I think I might
have erased the previous entries, but the first one listed on here is
from 2003. That is so long ago... or it feels long ago. I
was still dating Nathan. I was taking Japanese. I was a
psych major... in college... I was still planning to go into a
non-profit, and was not planning to go into full-time "ministry."
A lot has changed since then, and it actually is sad ending this blog,
although I know that's silly. Anyway, things are very different
now, and I guess this is an attempt to integrate my life for real...
blogs, personal life, church life, etc. It's all going on one
blog now.. a grown-up looking one. *tear*
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| This is goodbyeI'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. It's just too much for
me. Its been a great .... 2 or 3 years....? and now I have to end
it.
I think I'm done with xanga. It was better when I had... friends on xanga...
Visit me at my blog.
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| HomecomingTonight I picked Troy up from the Homecoming dance, and while I sat in
the car, watching dressed-up teenagers flood out of the gym, I felt
both envy and pity. For like a split second, I wished I was still
in high school, dressed up and going to a dance. I remember how
exciting it was, the possibilities of who you would go with, and what
you would wear. How fun it was, getting together and dancing with
your friends.
Then I remembered the drama and the anxiety. What if no one asked
me? What if I was asked by someone I didn't want to go
with? Who DID I want to go with??? What should I
wear? What if someone wears the same dress as me? Forget
that nonsense, I'm so glad I'm an adult. sort of.
I want a chance to dress up, but hey... I'm really excited for the
Chesapeake City Ecumenical Association Art Auction this winter. I
get to dress up, and some of my friends are coming, and we're going to
eat and walk around looking at art. Homecoming... for a cause...
and without the stress of being 15.
And I already have my dress picked out.
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| A Good FridayAh... the weekend alone. It was one of my favorite things about
having roommates. In college, and sometimes with Pam, I would
have whole weekends by myself in the apartment. I love having
people around, but sometimes its really nice to come home on Friday
night and just have a Megan's Night In. This weekend my parents,
Kellan and Troy are away. I actually (gasp) miss them, seeing as
I'm usually with them all the time, but it has been a great day.
Today I did some youth group shopping at BJ's and then met up with Jen
at the Christiana Mall. It was so good to catch up with Jen... I
miss my college friends. I bought some bracelets at Icing (I may
be developing an addiction to cheap jewelry). Then, I did some
more errands, stopped by church to make copies, talked to Amy for a few
minutes, and came home to walk the dogs.
When I got home, my new jeans were waiting for me. I had to order
them online because American Eagle only sells medium rise jeans
online. I tried them on and they fit! Yay! I fed the
dogs and then went in the hot tub for awhile. Now I'm curled up
on the couch in a sweater (perfect night for it, rainy and cold).
My parents made me a pot of chicken soup before they left, so I had
chicken soup and a really great sandwich for dinner. I'm watching
Grey's Anatomy (again) and doing laundry. What a perfect
night.
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| DisappointmentFor awhile, I had this stupid idea that if I had enough faith, God's
strength would make me impervious, or at least indifferent to the
painful stuff in life. Like, I'd have so much perspective that
the small disappointments and heartbreaks and... heartbruises would
barely register. I told this to Pastor Amy once, and she
involuntarily laughed... I mean... I knew it was silly when I
said it.
My lastest way to avoid pain was wrapped up in the idea that if I found
the right friends, I would never get hurt. I stomp my feet and
wish that people wouldn't "mess things up," (not that I ever
make messes), but I keep forgetting that life is messy no matter
what. Hurt and pain and disappointment and even heartbreak are
part of life. Whether its supposed to be like that or not, it is,
and there's nothing we can do to avoid it.
I know that being open isn't about become immune to hurt, but about
accepting success and injury equally, and trusting God to be with me
and heal my heart. I wish I was better at that.
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