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| To write..And gripe...
Somehow to find a way to release all your thoughts and pen them down on paper (or in this case..typing).
Strange that the lack of motivation lately has really got me evaluating the current options and where things are headed off in general. Lots of bad news has been coming out lately. Loved ones being lost, the world turning even shittier, people doing stupid things to each other while the rest of us live in our lives doing the things that we think are right. To be fair, I guess we all have our role to play in the scheme of things and maybe it's just that I feel as though there's nothing really I can do about the current situations of things. But how true is that anyway? I mean, granted if you don't take any kind of action, it can only be naturally assumed that you won't have a part to play but lets say you make a donation here (assuming in the greater good of man and the money goes where it's supposed to...all of it), would that count?
Was contemplating something someone said the other day about finding your hidden talent. Example being, michael jordan...if he didn't pick up a basketball or go to the right school or have a scout that picked him from obscurity, would he still be the person he is? Probably not. Is that any reason to blame the environment or to make it situation specific?
At any other rate, it's another year pretty soon. Another milestone's coming up pretty soon. Unfortunately, again, same as last year I really don't have too much to show for it. Beginning to question what exactly have I achieved after all these years being here. *sigh*
Not to mention the irony of wanting to avoid death and yet, people tell you to live life to the fullest. But how exactly can you live life to the fullest when you're not entirely in control of your situation? Lets say for example you crave financial stability as well as living life to the fullest. My vision of living life would be to get out there to go travelling, I'd like very much to see the world. I'm not saying I'd learn and absorb cultures and history or whatever it is you do when you go overseas but I'm just saying that I'd like to get away and see other places, see how other people interact and what they do. How in the world do you propose I do that when I'm stuck here trying to make my 2 pennies to rub together? Perhaps a place that pays better? That's still not the solution now is it? It can only pay me so much until I choose to travel again and even then, eventually to justify the increase in cashflow, I'd have to give up some form of freedom. I guess it's about finding a balance as well as knowing when to get out. But being in a society of wants, when do we ever finish wanting?
Which also leads me to my next point, about financial prudence and the...spending of money. There are some things that I find justified when it comes to spending money. Buying clothes, buying a house, buying cars and stuff. Okay, I mean I can understand why you'd want to spend money on those things. Even food, I mean, that's a simple pleasure so I can imagine using good money to buy yourself a scrumptious meal. But other things, or maybe I view it differently but somehow, the intake of alcohol to a point of...regurgitation just completely defeats the purpose. The only reason how I'd be able to justify that was if I would really like to pass out or forget something temporarily but fortuntaely the need for that has never come up.
Many random thoughts, about raising children as well. As in..how to teach them to love their parents, teach them responsibility...teach them the value of money. How does it all happen? My friends generally ....know the value of all three things mentioned there. But how did it happen? I'd imagine that all parents have their different style of parenting yet the values remain...close enough to what you want it to be. But how exactly do you get there? You see cases where children choose to run away from home, spend money like water, sleep around, refusing to get a job, failing out of everything they do. Who's fault is that really? Is there anyone or anythign along the lines that you could lay the blame at?
Sigh..questions questions...feeling blue feelign blue...something's definitely in the air...
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| Cambodia!So! I am back from the land of temples...every other thing is dedicated to Vishnu, Shiva and whoever and whatever. After a while, after visiting many a temple, it all kinda just blends in and there was a total overdose of information. Yeesh.
I'd much rather talk about the weather...:) and the people.
The weather was insanely hot actually, well probably not all that hot, just that I'm a pampered type of person and totally not built for that kind of weather. It's no wonder the people there are a nice tanned brown. I don't know how they can handle the bit without the sunnies though because the glare from the sun and reflection off the water and metal is just insane.
At any rate, the visit there really (again) does put things into perspective. I mean, you really do know how lucky you are when you see people without limbs walking all over the place, children being used as leverage to beg as well as for labour. I'm sure they're all part of the same family who hand makes stuff but still. All in all a good trip to put things into perspective fo rme and maybe drive myself to work harder even though I'm in much better living conditions than these people. But it's rather amazing cause the youth there are..what you could also say totally carefree because no way in hell would you see a KL city parent allow their child to jump off a pretty high bridge into the river/lake/pond/moat below. Not to mention that pool of water is SO NOT clean. haha.
At any rate, I've posted some pictures online on Facebook. I'd actually like to post a couple here to narrate what actually went on in Cambodia but it's kinda difficult cause the sheer size of the pictures makes it a helluva difficult unless xanga came up with some auto reduction or else unlimited uploads for pictures. Would make my life easier. I'll try to target the picture upload here over the weekend or something. Right now it's just about time to get to bed. Sigh.
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| Times are changingNo real motivation at the moment to make my blog statement about the recent developments in the local political arena but it hopefully does open doors to perhaps a different kind of Malaysia. One that I grew up in anyway. Lets see if there will actually be any change, however miniscule. We'll see we'll see...
Things have been moving along in my life, for the first time in my short career, I've finally been allowed the privilege of enjoying a 'bonus'. Although if you think about it, should the base start off a tiny amount, naturally multiplying that by a very large number would be the only way to make up for whatever shortcomings that may have been happening. Anyways, guess I can't really complain nor expect too much from the present moment. Should just count my chickens and enjoy the 'benefits' (if any) from my time there. Sigh, I should just look upon it as obtaining the necessary experience and hopefully moving on my career path.
Haven't really achieved anything else lately. I have to admit that attempting to maintain a balanced lifestyle with work and play has failed miserably and I seriously think that I'm developing a bad case of panda eyes. *sigh*
Only interesting thing of note is that we've been given blackberry's. While it's fun having one at the moment but it's completely eaten into my life. What with the berry messenger and the e-mails coming in. I have acquired an involuntary twitch to reach for it and check for any new and updated information which is really quite pathetic.
Looking for a flash to buy. Someone please help me decide on either a SB600 or SB800. Personally, I think a SB600 would fulfill all my needs and still leave me with some money in the pocket.
I'm feeling blue at the moment..not sure why...sigh | | |
| CNY is almost overWow, I didn't actually realize that CNY was almost over and that I've not blogged for almost a month. It's been a relatively unexciting month actually. Things seem to have flown by and work has...like always just moved along just like that. Getting a little bit worried at the current moment because I have this strange feeling something bad is going to happen and I'm not really doing enough to keep it under control. Ah well, there's always tomorrow and we'll see what happens.
On the other hand, there's something to look forward to at the end of the month. Guess it's kind of a turning/tipping point for me and we'll see where it'll lead. At the present juncture, I'll probably just keep chugging along these lines and hopefully all will remain fine and dandy.
Nothing else much to note, feel as though I have less and less to say although it's really nice looking at the old pictures on Francis' facebook and at David's house. Was good and nostalgic. Makes me remember just how far we've all come as a group (click if you will) of friends. And how we've really grown up together. At any rate, lets hope we take many more picture at gatherings, or videos in the case of the dirty doctor and post them! haha.
Happy CNY!
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| Potter revisitedSo anyway, it's late and I'm kind of waiting for what little hair I have to dry and I was in the bathroom reading potter while having a late night poo. And I'm suddenly wondering if all headmasters at Hogwarts automatically get a portrait and a spot in the headmasters office by virtue of being a headmaster as well? If that's the case, wouldn't that mean that Snape would also have his spot in that office? And by that, wouldn't it mean that Harry could actually talk to Snape (and in fact Dumbledore) and finish asking them questions, about all the other things that he meant to do? Or at least tell Snape that he did in fact finish off You-Know-Who and his death wasn't in vain and he did indeed ultimately help Lily Potter's son survive?
I've actually had a pretty weird weekend. And by that I mean, I've actually been out and had a life. My day would have been fuller if I filled the afternoon but it was pretty good just staying at home anyways. I've never minded just staying at home. Maybe I'm feeling depressed or something but I do know that something is definitely getting me down. I'm not entirely sure what it is cause I can't put my finger on it. Maybe that's why I'm actually forcing myself to go out and socialize a little bit. Something's coming over me (sounds like a song) and I don't know what but I guess it's good.
Anyways, it's getting late and I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow promises to be a pretty crappy day actually. Sigh. Got work on my mind and things are due. Dislike things hanging over me. | | |
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