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| No one is perfect
Everyone makes mistakes, big ones too... sometime in their life time.
I think that's fine, I've hurt people tons and have been hurt myself tons too.
But if I know that it was my fault,
if I know that I hurt someone deeply or made someone cry
I want to be able to apologize, face to face, look at the person in the eyes.
It is difficult to do... I am not sure if I can do it, if I made a life changing mistake that involves others.
Still, even if it takes a long time, like years, months, days, or hours... I want to be able to apologize and admit my faults. It is shameful I'm sure, probably makes me feel really small and stupid.
But I have seen people do it, and I think this is one of the things that "mature" people can do
I will wait to hear it
I want to believe that I can hear those words
So that my tears were not worthless, and my anger will disappear.
Hatred is so heavy and unnecessary.
I know that apology does not heal everything, but I know it will help me to be happier.
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I don't want to take
life as a joke
That’s all we got no matter what we do
We don’t get
a second chance, even if we ask for it
While we are alive, we can make mistakes and
still have the opportunity to live, and see what’s in the world and learn from
it
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| There is no
end to learning in life.
What we
have for ourselves today is precious but it’s so easy to get used to the
everyday life until something happens.
It’s so easy
to fight with people, to be annoyed of people around you, and to hurt someone
by not knowing.
But it’s so
hard to have the space in your heart to care for someone no matter how
stressed, sad, and shitty you feel.
Everyone
goes through trouble and pain, and no one can say whose is worse or better because
we all feel differently.
Even if you
feel like you are in the worst situation in life, there is someone around you
suffering as much as you are.
I wish I
had a big heart to accept and care for everyone, even if I am having a hard
time in life. I wish I didn’t get frustrated with people because they are
complaining about things that doesn’t seem that difficult or painful to me. I
feel embarrassed with my little capability, and admire those who can have the
big heart to care and don’t expect anything in return.
So much to
learn, so little time to grow without hurting others.
There
really is no end to learning in life. | | |
| So... I'M DONE WITH THESIS YESSSSSS <3
I'm really proud of myself for sticking to my original plan and got it bound before sunday.
and I'm really surprised that I'm not drunk. lol.
Afterall, I feel thesis wasn't as stressful as I expected.
The WPA conference was much much worse.
Thesis time reminded me of high school when I was super duper busy everyday, always up and running.
I definitely felt very productive while working on thesis.
It's a good experience, and I'm glad I did it (hmmm I sound so nerdy right now!)
Thanks to everyone who gave me a good moral support especially my
apartmentmates who worked with me every night till the sun was up and
birds were singing, and ofcourse, big big thanks to phil too!
I'm feeling a lil sad, because I don't have thesis to distract me from
knowing that my college life is ending. Living in the apartment,
hanging out with friends, singing in concerts..all kind of stuff is
becoming precious time for me.
Tomorrow is my last choir concert at college. It's kind of funny that I
am singing "Hush Somebody is calling my name" again just like senior
year in high school.
ok, enough said!
I should be happy and enjoy my last month of college life.
Sleep time!
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| Oh my goodness.
I was up till almost 8am.
I didn't know I can do that! I'm not very much of an all nighter person but I guess its possible!
So some of the craziness at the apartment last night.(meaning this morning...)
- Last night of thesis hell for tiff -
Tiff: "My hair hurts!"
Me: "........?"
Tiff: "Just watch! I'm gonna pop ur boobs while you are sleeping!"
Rina: "How do you pop someone's boobs????"
Tiff: "The question is, How do you pop ********?"
Jenn: "...yum....?"
Oh jeeez.
So...
I think I'm done editing!!!!
Yes, there is more I can do to it I'm sure, but I think I did enough
editing ( thanks to my reader who made my thesis SO colorful with track
change deleting and comments... At least he gave it back to me early
=D) that in the end I'm like...whateves. lol.
When I accompanied Tiff to poppa last night when she wanted to print her thesis to get it bind the next day we realized that thesis is LIFE & DEATH.
As thesis gets better our life gets miserable.
When thesis is bound, the trees die and thesis is not controlling our life anymore!
Ok, i think we were both just going crazy. Now that i talk about it it just sounds funny. lol.
Anyhow....
all thet matters is that...
I HAVE MY LIFE BACK!
YESSSSSSSSSS
I can't wait to bind my thesis tmrw!
time to sleep soon
lots of love for life and phil <3
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