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Saturday, June 28, 2008

Goal !

i weight 135 bad (N)
mygoal this summer is to workout everyday .
500 crunches / 500 situps a day
i really need to lose alot of my butt its huge literally.
i plan to ride a bike about everyday as well .
i've been throwing up as well, it makes me feel in charge like i can do it or i can't .
it feels really great.
i will also be eating like nothing and everything that i do eat i plan to throw up.
i want to go to back to school and look like a completly different person.
everyone says i have a pretty face now i just need tat pretty/perfect body.
105pounds here i come !!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

i weigh about 137 ish and im not goign down
im so pissed right now.
im not getting paid till next week so now i have to see if i can get money from like my mom ?
all i ate to day was :
a freezie , 2 toaster studles and a couple fries .
im so excited tomorrow weekend and not eating for 30 hours.
if i can do this then i have complete control over myself .

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

i've been feeling weird and outta my own skin .
i really want to do something completly not like me.
so the carnival starts this weekend so there will be lots of fights even though i hate fights.
on friday is the 30 hour famin i think im really gunna do it ill have to avoid goign to mcdonalds and bringing my money to school.
if i do that i think i'll run alittle because it will increase my chance of losing any weight .
i think i might do a 30 hour famin twice to three times a week and if i eat anything in any of the other days i guess i could just throw it up .

well i feel better now and i may seem like a nerd but i can't wait till this weekend because i get to see Narnia !

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

anarexia or bulimia

hello again .

i had an alright day.

I ate a sandwich when I got to school , but worked most of it off on the treadmill in weight roon during gym.

I weigh 137 pounds by I want to weight 100 - 105 May beginning of Juneby end of.
I'm a working on bulimic but im not sure if I should like should I just not eat or just throw it all up?
well, I'm starting my new workout this weekend jogging for 30 mins. toning for 1 1/2 hours. and not sure if I should strenght train.
I'm gym class we go to weight room every wednesday i think I'm gunna run on the treadmill for the entire class which is 75 mins.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

confused

today i could write about my day , i found it strangly odd so i'll just put down some points :

- was in a really bitchy mood

- best friend (guy) is in the hospital with like a bone problem

- not my usual giddy self

- sleep isn't that important

- sad more often than normal

- binged today awhole lot feel kinda bad


the yellow daisy is my favourite flower/colour, so im giving this flower only one though to my best friend to show him that i do 

care and make sure when he thinks pretty, happy, and full of life he'll think of me first



next writing won't be for about a week or two .