as of now ...

      my reasons for living.

Currently Listening Kid A By Radiohead see related

Fetus Omlette: crack-cooker   cook-a-cracker

but the other

day i was passing a certain

gate       rain

fell       as it will

in spring

ropes

of silver gliding from sunny

thunder into freshness

as if god's flowers were

pulling upon bells of

gold       i looked

up

and

thought to myself       death

and will You with

elaborate fingers possibly touch

the pink hollyhock existence whose

pansy eyes look from morning till

night into the street

unchangingly       the always

old lady sitting in her

gentle window like

a reminiscence

partaken

softly       at whose gate smile

always the chosen

flowers of reminding

-e e cummings.

I am writing because it is therapeutic, like those mind body and soul things, tea, breathing in hot rags, and eating really good soup.

1. My summer has been a consistent -“What do you wanna do?” “I dunno” “Come over” “Alright”  -  work  - working out – sleeping- reading- and eating.  All fine and fabulous, but finally in a extensive 4 days, I will be catching a bazillion hour flight to Mexico.  ….Where I will be building houses, playing with kids, singing my lungs out, and practicing everything I learned in Spanish 3 (Thanks Mrs. Karukas, instead of learning important stuff like “Where should I put this nail?” and “Don’t put those crayons in your mouth” I learned every verb conjugation in the Spanish language) Gracias.
2. I am jealous of Maggie, and I am going to miss her. 
3. Comparing women to fields that need tender loving care if the farmer’s seed – the male sperm -- is to grow into something healthy and robust. But what about the part that says “do as you please”? Isn’t that a recipe for unchecked power? It’s curious that such negative passages are the ones that overwhelming influence laws in the Muslim world. I don't know if it is considered "critical", but you will probably like Thich Nhat Hanh's writing. He's a Buddhist monk that participated in human rights activism during the Vietnam War. He convinced Martin Luther King Jr. to oppose the Vietnam War and MLK nominated him for the Nobel Peace Prize.
4. Word History: It is fitting that the name of an authoritarian political movement like Fascism, founded in 1919 by Benito Mussolini, should come from the name of a symbol of authority. The Italian name of the movement, fascismo, is derived from fascio, “bundle, (political) group,” but also refers to the movement's emblem, the fasces, a bundle of rods bound around a projecting axe-head that was carried before an ancient Roman magistrate by an attendant as a symbol of authority and power. The name of Mussolini's group of revolutionaries was soon used for similar nationalistic movements in other countries that sought to gain power through violence and ruthlessness, such as National Socialism. Okay, so only in its history does it refer to nationalistic movements that seek power through violence. Isn't that a little subjective? And when did it ditch the 'authoritarian government' stuff? Is there a long history of propaganda with this word? I think it's a dirty tactic to try and link fascism with the islamic faith, through the use of this word. It's like there's no actual argument to put forth, so let's resort to smear tactics.    
5. I hate fighting on blogs, I like wrestling.
6. MySpace is so addicting

Currently Listening A Picture of Nectar By Phish see related

you gave up, so I won!

It seems as if…my body feels so heavy, that I can not hold my head up long enough to take a sufficient breath, and the lack of oxygen, even though potentially fatal, appears insignificant.  I don’t need air to live, or so it gives the most unfathomable impression.  My body is literally shaking, and I cannot recognize why.  The things that are suppose to matter most to a fifteen year old sophomore, seem entirely useless.  I don’t want to learn all of the verb tenses in Spanish 3, but I want to go to Spain, to live and look, and to draw and write, and just breathe.  And I don’t want to be in Trigonometry when I could be lying on the beach, looking up at the most mysterious and magnificent night, and lying next to you.  And I don’t want to learn about plants, and how they reproduce, when I could be out in a field, with beautiful weeds in my hair, enjoying the life I was giving to live.  I know this may seem dumb, but that is what I want.  It is what I need, and my body is caught like an escaped convict, and I am led, head down, back to propriety.

As I gaze up above,
I feel insignificant, microscopic, trivial.
Am I alone in this world
that hangs under this painting?
Infinity is incomprehensible
and as I am finite how can I have meaning?
A squeeze of my hand brings me back
to this refuge where I lay looking up.

Currently Listening The Wall (Deluxe Packaging Digitally Remastered) By Pink Floyd see related

Danielle do NOT update for me, thanks.

-nugget