My Celebrity Look-alikes

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Currently Listening It's Only Time By Drake Bell see related

So, Tim moved in with his dad in Athens on Saturday.  I really have no idea what to do.  I'm so sick of making decisions because every one I've ever made has turned out bad.  I just wish someone could tell me to do something so that I have no choice but to do it and I don't have to apologize or feel incredibly worthless when the decision ends up screwing up somebody's life. 

I'm working all the overtime I can get so I can save up money to move out of my parents' house, but it's damn near impossible when I have two loans to make payments on every month, not to mention a credit card with a $100 minimum payment and another two cards that I can't even make the minimum payment on.  Sure, one of the loans was incredibly helpful in getting most of the credit cards paid off, but I can't afford everything on my own.  Car insurance, payments to the apartment in Alpharetta, two loans, three credit cards, $60 in gas money every two weeks....I'm almost 28 and I still live with my parents.  It wouldn't be so bad if they were halfway nice about it or anything else.  Tim had to leave because he couldn't take it anymore.  When I was younger, I thought killing myself was the only way out of here.  It's starting to look that way now, but I can't do that and leave McKenzie with them.  I'd rather sacrifice my own happiness and sanity for her to have me, but then on the other hand, is living with my parents really that great for her anyway?  If I live, I'll never get out of this house.  There doesn't seem to be any bright side to the situation. 

Tim left and now I'm alone. 

I'm going to find a psychiatrist.  I want to get off Paxil and onto something less addictive and more helpful.  Who knows what that might be, besides my own place. 

-L.

Long Time No See

Hmm...Let's see...I got my tooth pulled today..it was actually number 18.  I apologize in advance if my entry has a lot of ... in it.  At work, we have to type notes for every claim we deal with, and you can't put each thought on a different line, so we have to put ... to separate each thought.  I got my tooth pull ed 2 and I'm still waiting for the novacaine to wear off.  They put in 4 shots, and then my tooth was still hurting so they put in 2 more.  Right now it hurts in my cheek where they put the 4 shots.  I'm trying to eat some yogurt so I can at least get something in me before the novacaine wears off and the real hurting begins.  They gave me some stronger Vicodin because I told them what they gave me for the cavity didn't do anything.  That stuff knocked me out really good.  I just hope it works for the pain. 

Working is going awesome.  I was in transition for the past few weeks.  Only one more week to go.  Transition is a seperate group from everyone else, we have 9 of us.  We started out with 9, then we lost 2 who didn't graduate. :(  We didn't feel like partying because after that week, we all grew so close.  But, transition is nice because we have our manager, and 3 coaches we can call anytime we need help.  I think I have my own personal coach because I keep asking questions.  Mr. Harrold is awesome.  He's 61 years old and acts like he's our age.  He's great.  I'll miss him.  I'm loving it more than I thought I would.  It's helping me overcome my shyness.  Having to talk on the phone for my job is pretty cool.  Of course, I'd still prefer I didn't have to talk to anybody, but I like it enough. 

Other than that, not much else is going on.   I got some glasses.  Not having a blurry left eye is really nice.  McKenzie is pretty stubborn, she doesn't want to potty train, but hopefully it will happen. 

Not much else is going on.  I'll probably go take some more medicine and go back to sleep.

-L.

Currently Listening A Collection of Roxette Hits: Their 20 Greatest Songs By Roxette see related

Hola

I doubt I have much to update, but I'll see what I come up with.

I'm in the middle of my last week in training at Geico.  I've taken 3 tests so far and have an average of 95.1.  We have to have an average of at least 90 to pass training.  Tomorrow is the final.  She told us it's a possible 107 points so whoever doesn't have a 90 average yet has a really good chance to pull it up.  Of course, I told all my friends at work that that means I have a really good chance to go below a 90 with that many points available.  I haven't had to take a final exam in at least 5 years, but it is information I already know, so I don't think I'll do that badly on it.  I just had Tim quiz me and I'm going to look it over again before I go to bed.  I had my practice simulation today which is when a coach calls on the phone and pretends to be someone calling in with glass damage and we have to take the loss like it's for real.  We did two and the first one I screwed up on and the second one I did really well.  I think it's just a matter of getting used to it and just getting out there and doing it.  I have the technical aspects down, I ask all the right questions, it's just getting used to being on the phone and stuff which is something I've never done.  I'm so thankful that they have this 2 1/2 week training program now because I'd probably be fired already if they just threw us out on the floor with no training whatsoever.  Although, that's pretty much what they did at AIG, and I ended up the best processor on my team, so you never know I guess.

Let's see what else...my new car is working great.  Still don't have a tag for it.  I'm probably going to have to ask if I can leave early to go get it, but we'll see what happens.  Friday is graduation and it's at noon so I'm hoping she'll let us leave before 4 so I can do that. 

I'm also getting my eyes checked finally either Friday or Saturday.  My left eye has been getting worse I think.  I have perfect vision in my right eye, but the left one is so blurry I can't tell the difference between certain numbers.  I need to get some new glasses so that I can see what I'm supposed to be telling people on the phone for my job.

I had a cavity in one of my back teeth.  Number 17 I think they said.  Or 7...it had a 7 in it.  I had the cavity for like 2 years, and I finally went to the dentist and they said it was really bad and absessed and everything and tried to talk me into a root canal.  Well, of course I said to just pull it.  So they said the surgeon had to do it and he can't do it until March.  Well, my tooth is slowly falling apart, and now there's a huge painful hole in the tooth because the tooth is breaking off in little bits every day but there's nothing they can do until March.  So anyway...

McKenzie's doing great.  She can count to 10 now!  She still doesn't want to be potty trained, but we're sure that will come in time.  She's sick right now.  She has a left ear infection and a stuffy nose and she's coughing.  She's so miserable.  I feel bad because I work 8-4 now so I hardly get to spend any time with her.  I'm hoping I can get the schedule I want, to start at 3 or 4pm, in a few weeks so I can spend the day with her.

I'm not sure what else to say.  I'm just anxious about the final tomorrow.  I'm sure I'll do well, I just want to get there and get it over with.  After that it'll be a whole new stress with actually having to talk to real people calling in.  I'm confident I can do it, it's just a matter of getting in there and being forced to do it.  I'm ready though.  Our trainer is really good and I think she did a good job of preparing us for the job.  I'm not really sure about that though because I haven't had to talk to any of the customers personally, but from what I can tell, she's a lot more difficult in pretending to be a customer than the customers really are.

Well, I'm going to get going.  I have to shower and relax a bit before work tomorrow.

-L.