| seriously, what's going on?
anyone? |
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| is it any wonder that despite my love of sleep and my constant desire to be calm about what happens that i'm up at 3.30am for no reason?
is it strange that although things don't go my way i continue as if they have?
is it crazy that i'm finding myself turned upside down and around by the mere thought that things could be like they were?
is it wrong to think that maybe i was right?
is it necessarily bad to vaguely ask the questions i have about my life?
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rest you easily
in a moment of silence
blessed are your dreams. |
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| i'm so hard core. that's right. i said it. i'm hard core. about everything.
what are you gonna do about it?
i thought so. |
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| well hello.
i am writing tonight because i am very confused. i am taken aback by myself and what i do. i have oppurtunities to do what i want to do, and i refuse them under the sole basis that i can but i cannot. i see that i wish to have expression and see it expressed, but i confine myself to silence and inaction. why? i could say i am indecisive. i could also say that i am retaining integrity. i could say that i do not want to force any situation upon anyone.
but at the same time, it is all i want. i want to make a situation, i want to decide to shake things up. i want to make trouble for myself to overcome. i want that moment of solidarity. i want to wake up one morning and think, i really did that?
i live in my homemade box.
i exist. is there nothing more for me?
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| music sometimes is cheesy. but when i'm pressed to write someone a song, weird things may happen.
wrote a song at 2am again. hopefully it won't turn out to be crap. |
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