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| Summer is here!Finally summer is around the corner! Can't wait to go to the beach, diving and enjoy weekend by the lake. I have actually been productive lately. I got a shelf thing for garage and organized stuff in there. Rebuilt my operation system now it is linux with windows xp integrated into it. pretty hot! I practiced a few more songs on the piano. almost have everything put away from the boxes now. Tonight and tomorrow night should have it all taken cared of! On the other hand, admitted to my own laziness. I am calling cleaning services to clean up my old house before I can sell it ^_^ I am just not very good with cleaning. | | |
| ZenHappiness is in the journey, not the destination. This is what Dan Millman said in the movie The Peaceful Warrior. It touched my heart.
It has been 4 months since I updated my xanga entry. One was the fact that I was self made busy and no one really reads it. But the truth is, I was lost. "The first realization before becoming a warrior is not knowing" from the Peaceful Warrior. Not to say I was or am becoming a warrior but I was not knowing. Not knowing what's to come or what came. The realization of the reality is that I was not knowing what I am. In the movie, Dan Millman and his friends set their goals of life on what to have and what will come. In school, we were taught to visualize the success. Although nothing is wrong with that but I clogged my mind with trash and garbage and forgot to live my life one moment at a time. It is NOW that really mattered.
On the way home, I listened to the song "castle in the sky" about 3 times. The lyric goes something like "Do you ever question your life? Do you ever wonder why? Do you ever see it in your dream?..." It hit me, that when I am asking all the question but the answer has been all around me. Everything is in the journey not the destination. I have been going through everything in the house and deciding what to keep and what to throw away since I am moving. I came across my past. Part of my life that's remembered by things. An old photo book, an old love letter, things from the past that I shared with friends and families. Those are happy memories captured in moments and I kept things to remind me of the happy moment. Between the happy moment are things I don't care or try to forget. I went on and threw things into trash bags and trying to capture the history behind them before they are going out of the door. For a while, I was filled with hate from some things that I saw. A dream and a life that I wanted was destroyed.
I have neglected part of my feelings for a while by making my life full of event and surrounded myself with friends. It is until tonight from a movie. I became one of millions that am inspired by Dan Millman. The dream and the life that I wanted was a destination. Not reaching that destination does not makes me unhappy. Does not make me not being who I am. It is the journey. I was loved and am loved by many. There is never NOTHING is happening. Every little things in life makes the world a wonderful place and every little thing has its purpose in my life.
Maybe nothing I wrote here makes any sense to any of you. I also remembered now that to start writing here was meant to express my thoughts.
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| FancyThere is another song that I came across that Katie Melua performed in one of her concert. The song is called Fancy, written by Bobbie Gentry released back in 1970. The music is actually in a upbeat temple though the lyrics can be a bit on the down mood. I think it is a lovely song.
Fancy
By Bobbie Gentry
I remember it all very well lookin back
It was the summer I turned eighteen
We lived in a one room, rundown shack
On the outskirts of new orleans
We didn’t have money for food or rent
To say the least we were hard pressed
Then mama spent every last penny we had
To buy me a dancin dress
Mama washed and combed and curled my hair
And she painted my eyes and lips then I stepped into a satin
Dancin dress that had a split on the side clean up to my hip
It was red velvet trim and it fit me good
Standin back from the lookin glass
There stood a woman where a half grown kid had stood
Here’s your one chance Fancy don’t let me down
Here’s your one chance Fancy don’t let me down
Lord forgive me for what I do, but if you want out
Well its up to you
Now don’t let me down, your mama gonna help you move uptown
Mama dabbed a little bit of perfume on my neck
And she kissed my cheek
Then I saw the tears wellin up in her troubled eyes
When she started to speak
She looked at a pitiful shack
And then she looked at me and took a ragged breath
Your pas run off and I’m real sick
And the baby’s gonna starve to death
She handed me a heart shaped locket that said
To thine own self be true
And I shivered as I watched a roach crawl across
The tow of my high heel shoe
It sounded like somebody else that was talkin
Askin mama what do I do
She said just be nice to the gentlemen Fancy
And they’ll be nice to you
She said here’s your chance Fancy don’t let me down
Here’s your one chance Fancy don’t let me down
Lord forgive me for what I do, but if you want out
Well its up to you
Now don’t let me down, your mama gonna help you move uptown
Well, that was the last time I saw my ma
The night I left that rickety shack
The welfare people came and took the baby
Mama died and I aint been back
But the wheels of fate had started to turn
And for me there was no way out
And it wasn’t very long till I knew exactly
What my mamas been talkin about
I did what I had to do but I made myself this solemn vow
I am gonna be a lady someday
Though I don’t know when or how
I couldn’t see spending the rest of my life
With my head hung down in shame you know
I might have been born just plain white trash
But Fancy was my name
Here’s your one chance Fancy don’t let me down
Here’s your one chance Fancy don’t let me down
It wasn’t very long after a benevolent man
Took me off the street
And one week later I was pourin his tea
In a five room hotel suite
I charmed a king, a congressman
And an occasional aristocrat
Then I got me a Georgia mansion
In an elegant New York townhouse flat
And I aint done bad
Now in this world theres a lot of self-righteous hippocrits
That would call me bad
And criticize mama for turning me out
No matter how little we had
But though I aint had to worry bout nothin
For nigh on fifteen years
I can still hear the desperation in my poor
Mamas voice ringin in my ear
She said, heres your one chance Fancy dont let me down
Heres your one chance Fancy don’t let me down
Lord, forgive me for what I do
But if you want out well its up to you
Now don’t let me down
Your mamas gonna help you move uptown
I guess she did
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| Photo albumsWent on a ski trip over the past weekend. I have uploaded pictures to my webshot site.
http://community.webshots.com/user/Rogazilla
There are also autoX pictures, Beerfest and Horseback riding time.
More good time ahead! Next Friday, I am going to SF for 5 days! Looking forward to that. I have searched a lot of spot to see and so on. Thanks to my cousin Chris, I am staying at his apartment and he kindly allow me to use his car while I am there. Friends can let you down but family will always be there :)
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| silly thingSo I have been listening to Katie Melua's CD's for more than a year since I found out about her. An absolutely brilliant blue/jazz singer from UK. Her voice is just amazing. Of course she is very cute too. Last week I bought her concert on DVD and she blew me a way with her performance live on stage! That voice is just amazing. I am getting her other DVD which is the tour in 2006. It is rare nowaday to find an album where you love every single songs on it and she has 2 of those albums. I think I am falling in love with Katie Melua on stage. How silly  | | |
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