Summer is a really good idea

 Yesterday I was with Kevin the whole day, because neither of us worked. It was really nice, and later on we came back to my house for dinner because my aunt from Arkansas was visiting. After eating too much and getting sick of my ridiculously loud family, we went out in the sunroom and fell asleep together for a few hours. Kevin woke me up and took my hand and was like "Will you come out here with me?" He opened to sunroom door and covered my eyes. He led me outside through some hills and into the middle of the woods and told me to open my eyes. It was breathtaking- we were surrounded by thousands of lightening bugs. they were everywhere, glistening in the trees and through the leaves and grass, around our feet and landing in our hands. in the distance there was lightening streaking the sky pink, lighting up the tree tops and creating a beautiful silhouette of the woods in front of us. it was one of those moments where the world seemed to stop. everything around us moved in harmony. Kevin put his arms around me and we danced. we danced and danced, while the world glistened around us.

I really really love him =]

babeland

I just got home from work a little while ago. Don't really know why i am blogging right now, i just felt it was a good oppurtunity.

Life has been really really busy lately. Summer is going pretty well. Things were rough for a few days, but now they are back on track, and quite honestly, better than before. I saw Dave Matthews last Tuesday at Montage. It was completely last minute, but the concert was great. They really put on a fantastic show. The YES concert I was supposed to go to in July with Kevin was cancelled, so i was really bummed about that, i had been excited to see them. But i got the money back and everything and used it towards buying tickets to see RUSH, which actually is more exciting. i really wanted to see them last summer but it didn't work out, but this summer I have tickets =]
I was supposed to hang out with Emily twice last week, but her mom thought it was a good idea to pull a Tess on us and not let her come over, that sucked. I have been working for the past 5 days straight, and tomorrow i have off so Kevin and I are going to the movies. I love Kevin.

I really really wish i could find a car. I look everytime I am out, and I read the classifieds every single day. Yesterday, i was reading the paper at like, 11am and i saw a 1967 VW Bus for $1000. it needed work done to it but ran well, I would have bought it in a heartbeat. I called but the guy said it had sold already. fuckers. he was also selling a 73 VW beetle, but with a v8 engine, thus getting only 12 miles to the gallon. no thanks. Probably tomorrow on the way to the mall I will stop by the pic Brothers place with Kevin to see if they have anything in that looks worthwile. I just miss my toyota.

Summer begins...

Well, the two hours I spent in school Monday were it for my junior year, since I got suspended for leaving early on monday without a note. hmm. i always figured i would get suspended during some point of high school, because well, I am a little bit of a fuck sometimes. I didn't think it would be for the last 3 days, i think thats kinda funny. so today most poeple are sittng through a long boring day of empty classes and hot classrooms and nobody wanting to be there, and as 'punishment', I am sitting at my computer reading rolling stone and eating blueberries and texting my boyfriend. I think making me go to school would be a better punishment, but hey, I'm not complaining. I am thankful that I am finally freeee and that this school year is done! Junior year sucked.
Ever since Freshman year, which was soo fun, each year has gotten consecutively worse. Freshman year was my prep year, where I was in student council and billions of other clubs and worse costume jewelry every day. That summer I guess in a way, i discoverd myself more. I realized that wasn't me as much, and then my Sophomore year became my druggie-hippie year. I suppose that lasted through the summer into junior year, until I met Kevin. Now I am the same, but minus the drugs. i think it's for the best. For a while, my Junior year was my Depressed Year, thanks to stupid medications that made me cry oceans every day. Now, as a person, I am where i want to be. I am content with myself. i know who I am, what i want, I am happier, I love my boyfriend, I have my wife back, and well, other than a hellish home-life, sometimes it's not too bad. while I am here, i pretty much lock myself in my attic, painting or swing or watching the history channel. I only have one more year here, and after that i never have to come back if I don't want to.

I forgot how once you start typing something on xanga, it's really hard to stop.

I just read in my xanga subscription thing that Krista got a pet rat. i am insanely jealous, seriously. Obtoaining a pet rat has been on me and emily's list of goals to accomplish since like, freshman yearrrrr. I wish my parents would let me get a rat. Krista, you are lucky. haha.

Yesterday i was in NYC for the second time in less than 2 weeks. it was a fun day for the most part, but i am in no hurry to go back. I am a little tired of taking bus trips to New York. I really am not a fan of Times Square at all. Also, I hate Planet Hollywood, which is where we always end up eating. I was to go to NY, but visit Soho, and the east village, maybe greenwhich. I have never even been in central park. It's a huge huge place, but we always go to the worst, most congested, hyped up part of it. Last year I went to the South Street Sea port, and I thought that was so pretty, and the are was really nice. it had a lot of nice shops and antique stores and some record stores and cute cafes. I would so much rather spend the day in an area like that.

We saw GYPSY on Broadway yesterday. it was alright. It had Patti LuPone in it, who is apparently extremely famous, but I had never heard of her. Oops. I guess the show was actually good, but i felt it was too drawn out and Patti's character was extremely obnoxious and loud the entireeee time. It was better than Phantom of the Opera, and about equal with Rent, and well, my favorite show I saw on Broadway was All Shook Up. Pretty much one of my life goals is to see The Lion King on broadway, and after that, i don't care if I ever see another broadway musical again.

My life is eh lately. actually it's really good, because I have Kevin, and he makes me really happy. I really love him. But someday's I am like, this kinda sucks, I don't really have friends anymore. I always hated it when people got boyfriends and started hanging out with them all the time and not ever spending time with just their friends. I promised myself I would never do that. and I didn't. but I think people wanted me to, or said that I did, so they could use it as an excuse to be mad at me or something. i still don't understand what happened in the last 4 months, but with friends, things jsut aren't the same. I don't really know who is telling me the truth and who is just lying right to my face. Kevin keeps telling me that if they are truly my friends, if they actually care about me, things will work out. I hope he is right. It's frustrating, but i know I never did anything wrong this time, and I just can't let myself forget that. sometimes i feel like just giving up on people. I wonder if they are worth getting upset over. I wonder how many decent people there are in the world. and by decent, I guess I mean honest. Honest people with good intentions and some amount of morals. I'm not saying everyone should be perfect. But I feel like no one really cares at all about other people. They don't have respect for anyone, they don't even have respect for themselves. I don't know, i am rambling and I don't know what I am getting at. i guess I have a lot of thoughts going on inside me. Theyve been building up for a while, since all this stuff got started, I just don't know if they are worth even getting out. I probably typed too much already.

In any case, I couldn't be happier with Kevin. So although I wish things were how they used to be with my friends, if they don't feel the same way, I will be fine. I have one person who i know cares about me and appreciates me for who i am, flaws and all, and I have plenty of those. I have somebody incredibly sweet and accepting, that I always have an amazing time with, and I know I am really really lucky. I know he won't let me down. Kevin brings out the best in me. he makes me happy, and supports me no matter what. I feel like maybe my life is headed in a way better direction because of him. i don't do drugs, i work harder at school, and I am just really happy, a lot more often than I had been. It makes me belive in fate. I applied for jobs for 4 months and didn't get hired or take one until october, and I really believe it's because I was supposed to meet kevin.

Sometimes you spend a lot of time in the art room
Sometimes you create a piece you are actually somewhat pleased with.

Sometimes you buy strange boots in NYC

 Sometimes, not a lot else goes on your life.

Sometimes, you really love your boyfriend.