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run_with_perseverance
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Name: Katie
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Lansing
Interests: Coffee/Tea
Art (fine, street, musical)
Laying in parks on sunny days
Listening to the rain
Playing with dogs
Good food, Good wine
Christ my Savior
Bookstores, Decor stores
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  spartygirl09
Member Since:
4/12/2006
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| lessons learned and growingI have finished my junior year of college. I am now officially a senior. I am in Champaign right now, and driving all the places that I use to go to in high school makes me really look back at the past and think about all the mistakes, all the laughs, all the dances, all the friends that I thought I would have forever. Things change. I guess they change everyday, but you don't realize how fast things have gone by until you say it out loud: "I am a senior in college." "Have I really just graduated college" (for all you grads). I kind of feel like I have graduated just because I have so many friends that have graduated this year. So many friends moving around the country getting jobs. Starting the real world. And...what makes me laugh inside...so many high school kids are about to graduate and they think that life is ending without their friends, and going off to college. They think that they are entering the real world now. I know...I've been there. News Flash!! Life has just begun all over again! You will find new friends (unless you go to school with all your high school friends). My advice...go to a college where your entire graduating class is NOT going! Anyway..........it's just weird to think that I have one more year before I am out on my own.
I have been thinking a lot about the past three years. The mistakes, the laughs, the new friends, the new places I have been, the things that I have seen, the things I wish I didn't see, the people I have been blessed with, the relationships that have formed and fallen apart. It has been a trip thus far. I will definately say that this has been a growing year. This has been maybe the best year (2007-spring 2008). This year has really put in place those people that I know will always be there. Ive learned a lot about friendships, relationships, who I want to be, who I am right now and how to get to who I want to be.
If I could describe myself in three words I would say: Ambitious—I really want to do some great things in my life. I want to travel. I want to do volunteer work over seas. I want to work over seas. I want to go places. I want to change lives the way mine has been changed. I would say that in the past things have just been words....empty words....but now that the future is closer and more apparent...they are things that I plan to follow through with. Second: Maturing—this is an on-going thing. But the way that I see things, my values, my perceptions have all changed. I think that I am more realistic about what relationships should be like (after dating, a relationship back in the fall, and seeing other relationships). I think that I am also more mature in what I want out of life. I definately still have fun going out with my friends, but compared to high school and freshman year...lets just say I am more responsible about the places I go and the people I hang out with. Third: Steadfast—maybe this one should be first on the list. I would say that I am steadfast in more ways than one. But mostly I would say this applies to my relationship with God. I have my fears and my moments but who doesnt? We're not perfect. I think that I really started believing in God's faithfulness last summer. I am not one to live out my faith so outwardly (I AM bold when I need to be). But I know that what choices I make God is right there...He gave me a free will, and if I choose something wrong...I know He doesnt just up and leave and give up on me. I think that is the most important thing that God has proven to me...HE has NEVER given up on me when others have.
I dont know where I am going, who I will become. But I know that my faith in Christ, in God is everlasting. I know that where I am right now is a good place. I know that whatever difficulties come my way or are here...they will pass...I will overcome them. I am living out today because today is what I have.
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| I want to be a bird for a day
Fly in the open skies
Gentle whisper from a breeze
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| So much for keeping up with blogging
This was from one of my facebook notes in Feb. on Dwelling...
What I have found in the past month n' half was to stop dwelling on
things in the past and dwelling on the "what ifs" of the future or
decisions. I have found that dwelling in His presence is what gives
someone peace. What I mean by dwelling in Him is not dwelling in the
joys that He has given me or the blessings of each day, but to dwell in
Him and His presence. I think so many people miss the simple, perfect
fact of dwelling in GOD our Father and not the "things He has done for
'me'" God puts a lot on my plate daily that I do not even pay attention
to. But that has been changing and I have found that when I am able to
dwell on Him/in Him I am at such a greater peace.
Some rough things have happened the past two months. Wounds that I
thought were healed are being reopened BY God so that He can heal them.
Things that I would put off and not hurt about them because I thought
that it would make me weak...God wants me to hurt about them and be
healed through Him. He knows me...He's searched my heart. It is His
timing that is perfect. It is His faithfulness that I can wait on Him.
How lovely is your dwelling place
Oh Lord God Almighty
My soul yearns; it even faints
For the courts of the Lord
As of right now...it's been hard to feel that peace of dwelling.
I am in the mist of silence and it isn't bad. While praying one night God whispered "silence" and I thought that meant for me to just take the day and be in silence. I have been so wrapped up in business with school and wanting to hang out with new people I have met, it almost seemed impossible for me to just shut everyone out, turn off the ipod and cell phone...but...what I realized was that I didn't need to be in silence. God was in silence. Does that make sense? no? Here's what I am realizing. God has glory in wrath and in grace. I have not been seeking Him out. I have not been thinking of Him first and finding more ways to be of the world than in it. ok....so...thinking about that night I was praying God didn't say TO BE silent...He just said "silence". Being selfish I put it to how it applies in my life and my will not God's.
God wants me to seek His heart again. He wants me to bow down to Him again and be in awe of Him alone. To again dwell on His presence only. As of right now...He will remain silent. His silence is definately not Him leaving me or giving up on me. But His silence is a way of pursuing me.
I think that if you are experiencing silence from God...don't give up. Pursue Him more. That's what He wants...How are we so selfish that we only think that He should pursue us? let him do all the work?
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| reasons whyso i sometimes wonder why God does certain things in one's life. there is a great saying in a movie (evan almighty) that God answers prayers in opportunity. meaning..."does he give you patience or courage? or does he give you an opportunity in which you can be patient or courageous?" i think this is a great way to look at how God answers our prayers because it also doesn't put God on a timer...He will answer your prayers in His time when He thinks you may be ready. and i think that more than 90% of the time we do not realize that God is answering our prayer until after we have gone through something amazing or a trial of difficulty.
so...this is what i get from my most recent experience. that experience being dating. i really questioned whether this was "the" relationship or if it was my heart over God's. praying to Him He only gave me one answer..."I am with you with whatever you choose to do...I have bigger plans for you." I think that this failed relationship gave me two things...one: confidence in God and who He is. two: re-open wounds that God needs to heal...
I have found that within the past couple months that I have been back from Springhill I have been able to trust and have confidence in the Lord in ways that i never have before. i realized that God could satisfy me more than the one i was in a relationship with. i realized that i relied more on God in a relationship then when i was not in one. yes, i messed up-but God didnt leave. He reassured me of His presence and what He wanted for and from me. The other thing was my own stubborness to believing that I was healed from past pain. I wasnt...and i think that when i finally let go and give it to God He will heal me...but I could not be healed while being in a relationship...some people can...but God wanted me to Himself for this process.
It's amazing how faith can grow and still amaze you. They say that being a Christian is boring...but daily I am finding out new things. I finally found out what it means to rejoice in a time when you are hurt. I didnt think i would ever get what that truely meant and how to experience that...cuz lets face it...when you arae sad or upset you are not going to be thanking God...but in just an hour n half i felt a glimpse of deep sorrow filled joy...sounds ridiculous but you know you want to know what it feels like. i pray that you do someday.
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| RETURNING As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10-11 This passage to me says taht I am the Lords. That He is with me throughout everything and everytime. He fills my life with a purpose for His desire and for His glory. It returns to Him, not me.
So. This has been a busy summer for me. I have been up north a little ways in Evart, Michigan working at SpringHill Camps. It was an amazing experience. Although, I did not expect it to be. I was really struggling the first two weeks. I had this mind set that I was the "camper" and not the "counselor" and so I expected to have these huge revelations. It was definately not like that at all. And God was quick to show me that I was being selfish and thinking it was more about me than the real reason I was there.
I was there not to grow, but to help others grow. I was there to give my time to others; even if they were only 1-3 graders. I needed to trust God with my summer. When I finally let all of that go I was able to give God all of me during the summer. I didnt expect myself to grow, but weekly I would see how God was using the people/the children to help me grow.
Overall, I realized that God does not have to do big things in my life to prove that He will not leave. I learned that staying steadfast for the Lord blesses your life more than any "rollercoaster relationship". I think that is how it is suppose to be. Not saying that I don't have my hard times. I certainly do. It is just a lot more healthier to have a realtionship with God that is more steady-then to always be looking for the big ups that follow downs and vise versa...
hopefully I will be able to keep more postings more regularily...
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