sCiLzSoOoiLL's Xanga

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 15:38:16 GMT

i hate it here..i absolutely hate it here

drunkNfunkee: i wanna start new somewhere else.
drunkNfunkee: ive been here all my life..and im sick of it
drunkNfunkee: i need change
drunkNfunkee: a big change

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 04:27:41 GMT

one thing i hate. wen guys dont keep there word.

im sick of relyin on guys tryin to make me happy....

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 16:41:08 GMT

2005 started off as a bad year.NEW YEARS SUCKED ASS. im doin bad in school. im not organized and i just don't seem to care about things so much any more. i have gotten lazy and just too sad to even do anything. my life is soo messy at this point. i never thought it would be like this. CUZ I ALWAYS HAD THINGS ON TASK AND ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING DONE but now its the exact opposite. i ranaway...which is something i never thought i would have the courage to just get up and leave. but i did.i was scared but im happy i was with him..but through all this shit..there are some good things that happened.. i met you and i had the greatest times with you..

SCHOOLS A BITCH.i hate senior year.i hate my classes and i hate the fuckin senior portfolio. i see no point to that shit. been dealin with a lot of shit so i wasnt goin for a couple of days..might go to the learnin center (school only 2 hours a day)..but i dont know. i can say ..that you were what held me up LITERALLY...and its hard for me to go day by day without you..

i wanna say thanks to diana and anna for puttin up with my shit..my whinin and complainin..and all my bullshit..i got all this fuckin negativity floatin in my head..all these fuckin questions that i need answered.eh. thank you guys for really being there for me.I LOVE YOU FOREVER.

IM SORRY. thats all i can say to you. i thought you said you weren't mad at me and all of a sudden you text me in the middle of the night saying that "you fuckin hate me right now.." im lost.

>>>>to fcd

Baby
You know you mean the world to me
That’s why I can’t keep you in a situation
Where I can hurt you
Can I talk to you
First of all
I wanna tell you that all
I do is have love for you
No matter, it goes every ways
I still ride for you
‘Cause you’re the truth
Can’t be replaced
But the problem is I’m not positive
That I can give the commitment that you’re askin’ for
‘Cause right now I’m young and though you’re the one
I can’t guarantee that I can be the one you want
You want someone who is faithful
(Huh, I’m not admittin’ I can’t do it, just don’t
wanna put you through it)
If I may happen to see one
(he may holler, I may holler, but I wouldn’t wanna do
that to you)
I feel that I’ll be cheatin’ you
If I continue to see you‘Cause you’re in to get serious
I’m not ‘cause I’m still curious
See, I’m tryin’ to keep it real
And tell you how I feel ‘Cause I think you’re beautiful
And I don’t wanna hurt you
See over and over again
I keep on sayin’ to myself
I must be goin’ out my mind
To not wanna spend all my time with him
‘Cause I love you more
And to game your heart
‘Cause I know that I’m not ready
To lock it down fulltime Settle down with one dime Spend the rest of my life
With you It’s better to cry now than to hate me later
Trust me, I’ve had a broken heart before and I
{I know just how it feels} Feels
You know in time it will
{In time it will reveal} If our love is real

TRUST ME I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU...

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Wed, 02 Jul 2003 01:32:47 GMT

nice.simple.n sweet.

today.mee.charlie.anna.arlene.diane.and eduard.balboa park-rueben h.

fleet science center.mc donalds.ran out of money.embarcadero park.FUN FUN FUN.RUNNIN RUNNIN RUNNIN.ALOT AND UP THE FUCKIN STAIRS.

excercised. with anna and arlene played ALOT OF BASKETBALL.

WHOOPED CHARLIES ASS. AND BEST OF ALL.

WENT CRAB FISHIN WITH ARLENE.AND CHARLIE.mostly with arlene.

FUCKIN FUN MAN SO MANY OF THEM. I WANTED TOO EAT THEM. FRY THEM TOO.HAHA.. JK. ARLENE WAS CHECKIN out these JAPANESE GUY.SHES A FUCKIN JAPANESE .

BUT I LOVE THAT LIL FUCKER. ARITE ..

PLANS: DISNEYLAND.SIX FLAGS. ( with all ma frends) whooooooooooooo! no stoopid parents. yes.ALL YOO CAN EAT BUFFET.GOIN TOO A DAY SPA.CRAB FISHIN. PARTEE HARDEE.more to come.ill update later.bye doodess..

righteous. righteous.rite on.arlene keeps on kissin mee reallie

hard.it hurts.

arlene is like a fuckin dog..she keeps on sniffin me.

Monday, April 14, 2003

Mon, 14 Apr 2003 16:32:28 GMT

best day ever!

Monday, April 14, 2003

Mon, 14 Apr 2003 01:22:32 GMT

today i had a grip of fun!!! erm picked mee and arlene up.and furst we went too rite aid.n then we were jus drivin around bullock dr.and over there.in that neighborhood for like what an hour..ahhaha..but damn i havent had that much fun.in forever.hahha.besides 6 flags.geezzz..heheh.dddaaayyyyyyyuuumm..hahahah ERM THAT WAS THE BEST.GOTTA DO IT AGEN. we were honkin at some little kids.n the little boys were like."heeeeyyyy" hahah..n then we honked at them.hahah that was some funnie shit.okie not gonna get into details.BUT DAMN I HAD A GRIP OF FUN!

Sunday, April 13, 2003

Sun, 13 Apr 2003 01:23:17 GMT

this song is mah favorite song.i love the words. "I DONT WANNA RUNAWAY.BUT I CANT TAKE IT I DONT UNDERSTAND.IF IM NOT MADE FOR YOO THEN WHY DOES MAH HEART TELL MEE THAT I AM.IF I DONT NEED YOO then why am i cryen on mah bed.if i dont need yoo.then why does your name resound in mah head.if your not for mee.then why do i dream of yoo as mah husband.i hope your the one that i share mah life with.and i wish that yoo cud bee the one i die with.and i pray your the one i build mah home with.

im so bored.today was so borin.didnt do nething.I MISS MA FRENDS.i miss six flags.

Friday i went to rite aid too pick up mah pics from six flags and went to blockbuster and borrowed ABANDONED. damn theres a hot guy in there..ooo weee..and then i went too the mall too play a lil ddr wit arlene and anna.hehe. Thursday i went too boomers with charlie.diane.arlene.aaron.and mark.it was real run.unlimited video games.and go karts.yes yes.i got the fastest car.it was soo sick.im gonna go back there on thursday wit ma frends. i dont know which days but i went to coronado beach wit diane.eduard.arlene.cherie.charlie.and anna.it was real fun.heh.the water was freezing cold! but yea.we were tryin too boogie board.i was usin mah floatie as one.hahah.and i got caught in the waves.and oh my i cudnt breathe and the water held mee down for a while.damn that happens every time i go too the beach. and i went too ikea with charlie.anna.eduard.diane.and arlene.it was kool.i found what i wanted for mah room.but not gonna buy it yet.but i have things planned out.and we were jus chillen in one of the rooms like we lived there.just talkin.it was soo siickkk..heheh..then i went too home depot too look at the paint.ta see what color i want for mah room.iss GREEN.like a limish green.or a reallie light green.i have one in mind.iss called.japanese fern.i dont know where else i went i forgot.BUT I SAW MAH BOYEEFREND EVERYDAY THIS WEEK EXCEPT FOR TODAY. HEH.

WELL THROUGH IT ALL.I HAD ALOTTA FUN THIS WEEK.MAH SPRING BREAK IS GOIN PARRETTYY GOOD..HOPE NEXT WEEK GETS BBAABBETTERR.I WANNA GO TOO THE BEACH.ICE SKATING.AND TOO BOOMERS AGEN. I MISS MA FRENDS.

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

Tue, 08 Apr 2003 02:35:58 GMT

http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/pnailivinlife/vwp?.dir=/six+flags&.dnm=ALLOFUS.jpg&.src=bc&.view=l&.done=http%3a//briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/pnailivinlife/lst%3f%26.dir=/six%2bflags%26.src=bc%26.view=l

Monday, April 07, 2003

Mon, 07 Apr 2003 01:51:06 GMT

today i jus cleaned ma room.and threw away alot of shit that i didnt need.just kept stuff that was most meaningful.yea im goin to redo mah room.get new furniture.and repaint it and everything.im thinkin of getting a futon.cuz mah room is too small.and ill have more room if get one.but the bed is the best part of the room.but mah bed now.iss a queen size or full.ionnoe.but it takes up more than half of mah room.geeze.so yea.im excited.hahahah

YESTERDAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. I WENT TO SIX FLAGS.wit arlene.charlie.geoff.kris.matt.benny.n aaron.n cherie.THESE ARE SOME OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE I KNOW

damn that was hella fun.man.i miss it alot.dang.heh.we went on goliath 4 times.i love that ride. I HAD SO MUCH FUN! ID DO IT AGEN ANYDAY. i dont wanna explain what happened.cuz i cud go on and on and on and on forever and ever and ever.on how fun it was.it was jus sooooooooooooo fun.......

were goin too HAWAII NEXT.ALL OF US.hhehe. no one else included!hahhahahhaha Jk

Friday, April 04, 2003

Fri, 04 Apr 2003 00:42:35 GMT

okie.yesterday went all bad.man.okie ma grandma was watchin tfc downstairs and mee and charlie had no tv too play ps2 so we went too mah room.well mah gramma got all mad.cuz it was jus here and anna here. n yea.i think she called mah dad and told on mee n i was like wtf.all yoo had too do was ta ask nice.i was holdin a bowl in ma hand.n i was soo mad.i jus hit it against the garage floor.n started cryin.I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT NO MORE.MAN.dealin wit these people.HAVIN THE SAME PPL N THE SAME BULLSHIT IN MAH FACE EVERYDAY.iss getin mee sick.

well today.i was so tired at skool.n cudnt wait too get home.wen i got home yea.bladee bladee blah.arlene went too mah house to give mee money so i can buy her 6 flags ticket.n then ma mom was all.yoo guys arent goin.yoo cant go.theres no adult.WHAT IS A FUKIN ADULT. 18+ RIOTE? uh huh i thought so.yup.bitch.n like yea.she was all. take arlenes brother.n i was like there like the same age.n she was like.he'll bee on yer side.n i was like wtf.YOO THINK CHARLIES gonna turn against mee or somethen.she was all quiet.hah.and she was jus sayin all this shit.tryen too like make excuses for mee not too go.and then suddenlee she sed.WATCH YOUR GONNA GET PREGNANT.AND IT WAS LIKE BAM.NOPE.NOT GONNA TAKE THIS BULLSHIT NO MORE.I THREW MAH CUP OF WATER.N she was all dont act like that and she had a mad face.n i was like o mah god.BUT I ALWAYS JUS SAY O MAH GOD.N I WANTED TOO SAY HOW I FELT.EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HER SO MANEE TIMES. THAT I WUDNT GET PREGNANT AND THAS NOT ME.THIS TIME I WAS CRYIN REAL HARD.AND I WAS LIKE "THAS ALL YOO FUCKIN THINK.YOO THINK IMMA GET PREGNANT.YOO THINK IMMA HAVE SEX.UGGHH."AND THEN I RAN UPSTAIRS CRYIN N CUDNT STOP.

cant deal wit this ne more.i hate it.i dont wanna explain nethin nemore.anna knows what im goin through.ill prolly get bak too yoo on this one.just goin through a whole lotta pain.and fustration.and GETTIN REAL SICK.

but yea ma dad came home and ma mom told him that i wanted too go.n ONE THING THAT MA DAD DOES THAT I FUCKIN HATE SO MUCH.IS WEN YER TALKIN TOO HIM HE JUS STANDS THERE N STARES AT YOO FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND HE DOESNT SAY NETHING TOO YOO.he jus kept on askin mee questions while i was in the bathroom.n ma back was facin him n i was hiding ma face from him wit mah hand.he jus kept on askin n askin away.whos gonna bee there.whos drivin.are they all gonna bee teenagers.when are yoo leavin.when are yoo comin back.wen are yoo goin.where is it at.he sed i kno yoo teenagers your gonna bee shoutin in the car and get easily in a car accident..damn not all teenagers are like that.some are careful.jus asumin shit.yoo @#$%^& *&^%#! yea.WELL YOO KNOW PARENTS WEN THEY ASK TOO MUCH QUESTIONS AND IT GETS SOO ANNOYIN.WELL YEA THATS WHAT WAS BASICALLY HAPPENIN.and he was all sayin i dont mind yoo goin wit charlie.but yea isnt he 19 n yer 15.n like ionnoe what else he sed.THIS SHIT LASTED BOUT 30 MINUTES.STARIN AT ME.ASKIN.N SHIT.IN THE END.HE SED "HE'LL THINK BOUT IT.N HE NEEDS TO TALK TOO CHARLIE FURST".well im just sittin here now.waitin for it too bee tomorrow.so i know if i can go or not.ppl PRAY FOR ME.I WANNA GO SO BAD.cuz damn i love 6 flags.n i love roooooooollercoasters.so much! n i wanna bee wit mah boyeefrend n ma frends man.IT WUD BEE THE BEST.

not goin to skool tomorrow.las day of skool.2 weeks of spring break.yay! charlie i love yoo bitch. bye