wow i was such an angry child in my last blog. wtf -.-;
okay well i'm in one of those writing moods. plus a lot has been going on.
first and foremost:
i managed to keep my GPA to a 3.9.. i donno how the hell that happened.
but it did and i'm happy about it- plus my interim this quarter was STRAIGHT As! -.- cep that totally went down the drain today. and yesterday. i think i brought at least 2 grades down to B+s. AWESOME.
anyways. i picked out my courses for next year and i'm kinda happy and kinda not happy about it. its 4 APs plus other hard classes. the only breathing class i get is.. band? and hopefully AP stat and evironmental.
whatever. senior year better kick ass or i'm going to cry.
but my counselor totally reassured me today that i was on the right track and that ima be okay for college. i dont think i shud focus so much on UVA anymore. I think i should broaden my choice of colleges. no?
i donno what i'm saying. it all makes sense in my head though and thats what counts. =]

second-
seriously, not a lot of people matter to me anymore. that sounds pretty harsh/ignorant but ive come to the conclusion that ive cut out about more than half the people that i used to know. and that makes me a happier person. when i look at those people who party ALL the time and never get anything done but call themselves happy and satisfied becus they know everyone in the drug business... well. you get the point.
i'm just really happy wiht the people that ive become close with this year.. and this is when hoonit has the right to say: "told ya so."
junior seems to be the year of acknowledgement and reality.

i got slapped twice this year and i want more slaps.
..as in a part of speech.

third:
me and dad have been home alone for almost a week now due to my bro and mom being in korea. HOW FUNNN. gosh. i miss everyone there. and i heard hwe-chul oppa got into JYP as a vocalist and hwe-jun is doing well too. i miss those boys like crazyyy. i miss sae-bin unni too. and soo-bin. and of course jae ha and jae kyung oppa. WHEN WILL WE ALL MEET?! jeesus.
well. being home alone with dad isnt that bad.. its actually more like being home alone since he doesnt get home till later and i have the car&house to myself till whenever. so that's kinda cool. cept i didnt know until now but i can see why kids w/o moms go kinda crooked in life.
seriously, without my mommy, i am nothing.
i want my mommmmy. and hoonit.

fourth and best of all:
SUMMER BREAK IS COMING UP!! omgsh. the first summerbreak since 7th grade when i dont have to do summmerschool and i can just chill ALLL day and night. JEEZ thats gonna so fun. plus hoonit and phil oppa are working to eanr money to get a boat or beach house down at VA beach for me and sophy.. so we can all go party :D GAHHhh!! thats seriously that i live for. summer.
even though spring breka is cmoing up, it doesnt excite me that much. i just want 4th quarter to come so i dont have to be stuck in this shithole called 3rd quarter.

wow that was so much typing all in like 10 mins.
WOOT. i rock.

peace.

backkk.
im having one of those moments where i wish nothing ever ended.
i hate the fact that hoonit`s gone, school is starting again, and i can`t focus on anything.
why`s evreything gotta be so damn complicated?

parents adopted a new technique of pissing me off-
telling me im wrong at everything and accusing me of things i didn`t do.
like. HOW MY MOM DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE STICK and she tells me im shifting the wrong way. ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME. jesus christ. scenario:

me: *shift to third*
mom: OMG WHAT DID U JUST DO, WHY DO U DRIVE LIKE THAT
me: uhh.. its what it sounds like when u shift..?
mom: OMG IM GONNA TKAE AWAY UR CAR.
me: okay. what did do wrong? whyre u so mad?
mom: WHAT?! MAD?! IM TALKING SO NICELY AND UR YELLING AT ME.
me: okay. whatever.
mom: DONT WHATEVER ME! IM NOT UR FRIEND.

...yeah. it doesn`t fuckin help that school is draining the life out of me and my parents think im a fucking retard. UGHHH. i cannot wait until this year is over. this summer is gonna be too chilllll. first time having no summerschool since 7th grade and A CAR(:
goddd.
just a couple more months and im so done.<3

wow i just realized.. i put this layout up last year around this time and never took it down cus i claimed my favorite season was autumn. it`s still true but theres just so much shit going down. so i need to vent

and since no one reads this anymore, its the perfect place (:
btw these will remain anonymous.

#1
you have been pissing me off lately more than anyone else and it doesnt help that i see you every goddamn day. if u think you`re just THAT much better than everyone else, flaunt it bitch. don`t hold it in like ur trynna prove a point and just flaunt it. i mean- in my eyes, u got nothin on me. but whatever floats ur boat, ya kno? i mean. i don`t hate you but damn bitch, back off.

#2
you are by far THE worst teacher i have ever met in my entire life. or ever heard of. or ever knew of. wow. you`re just the worst of the worst. when u talk, nothing goes into my head. no wonder ur not married. and dont you fucking know by now that im the one that moves ur damn smartboard every 5 mins? IM THE REASON U MUST REFOCUS UR DAMN SMARTBOAD. jesus christ that`s all i wanna say. YOU SUCK AT TEACHING; GET A NEW JOB.

#3
you know, ive been trynna figure it out for the past couple months why you`ve been acting the way u have. and u know- you prolly heard something from someone or someone prolly told you some wrong shit but im gonna brush it off cus u know what? if you really know me the way you claim u do, the shit you hear wouldnt mean jack... and it doesnt help that i miss talking to you and spending time with you. you`re truly an amazing person; i just don`t see why u hide it so much. i know you better than that..

#4
it sucks that i can`t be upfront with you. and it sucks even more that i`ll never get the chance to.
question: does it really take two?

#5
im sorry but damn. you`re fucking younger than me- stop trynna teach me right from wrong. you still smell like fresh fish, dipshit.

#6
it pisses me off that whenever ur fucking HUNGRY, you`re the biggest hoebagdouche but when u get the food, you`re like the happiest person ever to live. why you so caught up on... food?

#7
you`re a pretty lucky girl; i can give u that.

wow that was so imature but deal with it. im dying. i have no social life and my desk is never cleared from papers, binders, notebooks, textboooks and FUCKING DOT SHEETS.

so peace out.

and so the year that i`ve fretted most has finally arrived. The year when everyone "committs suicide" and attempts to quit facebook, myspace, xanga, wow, cs, you name it. Junior Year has finally come.
I`m not sure if i`m glad, agitated, frightened, or fucked... but i do know that i`ve realized a lot in the first two weeks of school.
1) everyone`s matured so much. everyone gets along and its as if drama never existed..(well at least for the people i`m around. not too sure about the meat heads that never learned to growup><) even though inside we`re all thinking different things about each other relative to talking shit...only to yourself because now you know the consequences of not having enough maturity to keep comments to yourself.
2) the work load has increased a ridiculous amount.. needless to say AP teachers are fucking psycho..but I guess it`s for the good of us. and i`ve started taking interest in  a lot of the classes i`m taking. They actually start applying to my life.. cept calc BC cus calculus is just pointless.. i`m never gonna walk into a damn grocery store, pick up a damn patch of lettuce and say "if that was cosine, then the derivative would be -sinx and therefore, i shouldn`t buy it cus the horizontal tangent line wouldn`t be a striaght line. so that gives me a probability of 2/3x cosine that i`m gonna cut my finger while slicing it!! (: ".. but the other classes like biology, english, etc etc are fairly interesting and time has taught itself to go by fast all of the sudden.
3) seniority always seemed so desiring and untouchable.. sike. seniority came with a big package of things between responsibility and discipline. suddenly the upperclassmen you always looked up to are gone and you`re the new them. you never thought your underclassmen friends would ask you how to get to this classroom cus you never knew either.. so basically, you have to teach yourself a lotta shit before they come asking you cus if u donno, you look like an idiot. simple as that.
4) you realize what people are really like inside. cus their family instincts come out when everyones eating their heads off about APs tests and timed essays. either they love you or they want you to fail so they can stomp all over your ass. and that`s fine cus you wanna do the same thing to others.
5) you really only have a VERY few close friends. no, not cliche. it`s just the truth.
6) you sacrifice a lot.. A LOT of your time on school work and extra curricular activities.. basically you sleep for about 2-3 hours a night. but it`s okay cus you get used to it and your body gets really numb. i donno yet but i bet when this year is over, i`m gonna hibernate for like a week.

i know it`s been only 2 weeks.. but think about how much i`ve realized already.

i wonder how many damn things im gonna realize by the end of this.. heavenly hell-hole?

anyways- special note: i cant wait to get my damn license. GAH.

PS: my UVA bro`s- keep your chins up and work hard! <3

ohhh. so this is what it feels like when they say-
" i was naive."

feels kinda.. shitty. but i like it at the same time cus i know now.
i know for sure.

<3kathy song.