sabbychan's Xanga

Holy Week

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:57:22 GMT

One of the spiritual highlights for me in the past 6 years has been learning to participate in the whole of Holy Week, and not just Easter Sunday. I am so grateful to my church community for the opportunities I've had to grow in this. Rremembering the betrayal of Maundy Thursday, horror of Good Friday, and the utter darkness of Holy Saturday make Easter so much more of a celebration of new life.

John Irving's character Owen Meany says it this way - "I find that Holy Week is draining; no matter how many times I have lived through his crucifixion, my anxiety about his resurrection is undiminished—I am terrified that, this year, it won't happen; that, that year, it didn't. Anyone can be sentimental about the Nativity; any fool can feel like a Christian at Christmas. But Easter is the main event; if you don't believe in the resurrection, you're not a believer."

Like Owen, I find Holy Week draining - Holy Saturday is so dark because Jesus is dead. I wonder, will it happen this year? Reflecting on the crucifixion and burial of Christ makes the resurrection and new life that much more significant and real.

This year, in addition to services Thurs-Sun, I've been participating in 7am daily prayer with my church. I made the commitment in response to some things God's been showing me, and also as one more step in participating in Holy Week. We're not having a 'prayer meeting' per se, instead it's liturgical prayer. So we sit in groups of chairs across from each other, and read antiphonally (one side first, and then the other). At first, it takes some getting used to - am I reading at the right time, etc. But there is something very rich about both reading and listening. As we read back and forth, we are speaking truth to each other, and Scripture sinks in more deeply. We speak hope to each other. We have time to pray individual prayers, and the community agrees with each prayer, with a phrase like, "Lord, hear and have mercy."

We also have Stations of the Cross on display, put together by Mosaic artists. The Stations are a meditative tool for remembering the suffering of Jesus. So our space has been available for meditation, prayer, and going through the Stations every day. It is beautiful to have sacred space open during the day. We have a yoga class that meets each week, too, so on Tuesday, the Stations were closed for an hour while a group of us practiced yoga. My mat was situated right in front of "Simon of Cyrene carries the cross," which has a large cross, tipped on its side. The station invites us to stand or kneel by the cross and to 'take up your cross and follow Jesus.' There was something amazing about sitting in silence there and meditating.

There's been a ton that's happened in the past few weeks, and I'm grateful for the opportunities to meditate, reflect, and pray in this season. I'm not exactly 'excited' for our liturgies this weekend (it's draining and sad, remember?) but I am so grateful for these times. Holy Week has often been significant for us in the 6 year history of our church, and it's great to reflect on how God's grown us as a community since the beginning.

Almighty God, life and salvation of all who love you,
grant that we who look forward to the celebration of your Son's Paschal Mystery with holy expectation
may come to share in the glory of his resurrection.

I feel a little lighter

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 21:39:18 GMT

A very good friend came in town this weekend to help me de-clutter and organize. It was awesome to see how good she is at it, but also amazing to see how much stuff I had let stay in my house. As we cleaned out rooms, filed papers, and straightened closets, all kinds of things showed up. Lots of old AACM and staff papers, pictures, fun notes from friends, thank you notes from students, affectionate notes from old love interests, and lots of health insurance paperwork from 2 major surgeries. (Yes, that is 2 major surgeries in the last 3 years, I gotta be more careful...)

It's always hard for me to de-clutter because I get stuck reading everything or looking at things. Each note brings back good times or regrets, but cleaning with a friend made it easier to talk about it for a second, and then be reminded to move on. Thank God for community!

At church tonight, the text was Hebrews 12 - about running the race before us and throwing off everything that hinders us. It fit the weekend perfectly. It was also a confirmation of something I was thinking the other night, that to run the race for the next several months, I need to cut way back on TV.

I felt lighter just walking into my clean house tonight, and feel excited about having way more time to read, pray, and chill out, now that I won't be watching as much TV. There's something about Traveling Light... (which is also a Eugene Peterson book on Galatians that maybe I will pick up now...)

Anyway, here's a picture that might also serve as a 'before'. The TV will be on a lot less from now on...

And here's an after... ;)

unreal

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 10:25:18 GMT

Students are coming back in town. Yesterday I was at the grocery store checkout, and the mom and college-age son in front of me were in the process of buying what would end up being $350 worth of groceries. Immediately, I had two thoughts -

1. How can anyone spend $350 at the grocery store? Is she trying to feed him for the whole year with canned goods?

2. Why did I choose this line??

:)

4 months is a long time

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 18:35:22 GMT

4 months is a long time to neglect a blog. But never fear, I've been up to some really interesting and fun stuff. So much stuff, that I haven't blogged, haha! I'm not going to blog about all those things though, because dear reader (if there are still any out there), if you don't already know the good bad and the ugly - there's this amazing thing called email or phone. ;)

Two observations from today:

Someone I only see every week or two asked me if I had gotten a new haircut or something (I haven't). Then she said, "I think you look well-rested." When I got in the car, I looked in the rearview mirror to see what that looks like on me - so I can remember.

My dentist could tell that I've been flossing!! I felt so proud.

all done.

all that talk

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 18:50:33 GMT

After all that talk, I finally did it. Took the plunge. Got clipless pedals and shoes to go with. I got them installed yesterday, and promptly took a nice fall in my backyard. Bummer. But took 'em out for a quick ride today, and had a blast! I can really notice the difference on hills, and it's sorta nice to feel 'one with the bike' - except when you're falling... I think Speedy likes it too (that's my bike's name).

It was a very short ride because I just haven't been feeling well. I've been off and on sick for over a month now (more sick than well), so I took it very easy, but still tired out super-quick. Hopefully I'll feel totally well, soon.

So the last few weeks have been crazy busy, thought I'd pull some pictures that give you an idea...

Here's my awesome small group from Breakthrough's What's Next track...

At the Asian American Staff Conference... Daniel Project crazies. :) Are they sure they want us to lead?

looking more civilized, for a picture with the mentors and teachers. :)

my friend Morgan and I, high above San Francisco...

Exit Clov at Lovejoy's during SXSW. The picture's super-blurry, and you can't really see Aaron or Brett, but I like how Emily and Susan are right in front of the angels on the backdrop.

Clov at Ruta Maya, this is the only one where you can really see John, the drummer

at the Rio for the official showcase. Awesome, just awesome. (fyi - the Rio used to be the Real World Austin house... confirmed by the crazy loud colors on the walls in the back area)

Unfortunately, my camera isn't that good, and I also don't have any pictures of my friend Ellen (cousin of the twins) who was in town too... but check the website, because they have better pictures there. :) Despite the lack of pictures, I did get to see some other bands - most notably, the Polyphonic Spree. Amazing!

Whew, I'm tired. I'll have to put up post-Spring Break pictures later...

march 14 - ER Day

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 02:34:34 GMT

It’s Pi day. Yes, 3.14, in case you hadn’t heard (my sister reminded me tonight). In my mind though, it will always be ‘emergency room day.’ A year ago today, I was supposed to be taking a prayer day. Instead, I was puking my guts out (literally). I prayed a lot that day, but not in the peaceful retreat kind of way, more of the, hurts-like-crazy-and-hanging-on-to-the-railing-for-dear-life kind of way. Then, I was in the hospital and high on narcotics for 10 days. Notice the order, puking, THEN drugs. :)

I learned a lot (experientially) about various medical tests, levels of narcotics, NG tubes (ugh!!), adhesions (scar tissue), small bowel obstructions, laparoscopic surgery, the frustrations of health insurance, and who the best nurses are on 3 East. I also learned (experientially) about prayer, slowing down, listening to God, the importance of community, asking for help, knowing my limits, and how caring my friends are.

It’s weird to think that a year has gone by so quickly. And I’m still trying to learn a lot of those latter lessons – wanting to go deeper...

On a more superficial note, I used to think Austin tap water was pretty good. However, it comes nowhere close to the water in Oakland. Ah well, I am still very thankful that I have access to clean drinking water. I’m also thankful to be back in my house, after being gone for a week. SXSW craziness is here… as is one of my favorite bands - Exit Clov. Check out http://www.exitclov.com for more info.

good spoken work makes my soul happy

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 01:02:36 GMT

Just a quick note - in case you haven't heard yet, Rosie O'Donnell apologized for her 'ching-chong' joke, and for her lame earlier attempt at apology. Sounds like it's due to Beau Sia's beautiful spoken word video 'an open letter to all the rosie o'donnells.' You can read more about the whole thing (and see her real apology) at angry asian man. I'm just amazed that she did apologize... if only it hadn't taken so long... but then again, most of us are still waiting for apologies from other people who've used the very un-original ching-chong jokes.

but I like the way beau ends -

'now's the time rosie
we all make mistakes
there's always room
for forgiveness'

so true.

learning and remembering

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 00:11:30 GMT

It's a snow day (well, ice day) here in Austin - there was lots of ice everywhere this morning. I'm sad, because I had planned on going with all the InterVarsity student leaders to the MLK celebration at UT this morning. Last night, I told the student leaders some of the things our staff team most admires about him - his understanding and practice of grace and non-violence, speaking up for Truth and against oppression, and also his vision for multiethnic community.

I've been thoughtful a lot of today - watched "American Experience: Citizen King" on PBS. (PBS has also been showing Eyes on the Prize - which is great). But the one I saw tonight focuses on Dr. King's last 5 years. I never realized how young he was when he was assassinated - only 39.

Taylor Branch is an author who wrote a trilogy on America during King's years. It took nearly 10 years for each volume of it - the first is Parting the Waters (1954-63), then Pillar of Fire (1963-65) and finally At Canaan's Edge (1965-68). I read the first two several years ago (usually you can find them at half price books for not very much) - I had never studied this part of history in school, and was amazed by what I learned. One night, reading my book at a coffeeshop, I started to cry as I read about the children's march in Birmingham (1963) - how nearly a thousand children were rounded up and arrested, how police dogs and fire hoses were used against these young protesters. I'm sure it looked quite strange to the others around - "That woman is crying into her tea because of a book?!?" The final book of the trilogy just came out last year, and I am looking forward to starting it soon.

Back at thanksgiving, I visited my godson Macrae and was able to give him this book called "Martin's Big Words." On the title page, I told him that Dr. King is one of my personal heroes, and that I hope he enjoys reading about him. It's cool, because the book talks about how Martin's dad was a preacher... Macrae's dad is a pastor too. I got to read the book to him a couple times when I was there - it was so special. His parents are awesome, when we got to the part where it starts to talk about Rosa Parks and the bus boycott, he said... "hey... I know this story..." - he has a couple other books about the Civil Rights movement. Here's a picture of us reading... and yes, my godson is wearing a cape... :)

The artwork in the book is AMAZING. I love it, and have given, or am giving the book to a couple other great kids I know. :)

Hope you also got to remember and celebrate Dr. King today, whether it was icy outside or not!

now showing on PBS

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 22:18:28 GMT

This 4-episode documentary started airing this week on pbs - check your local listings for showtimes - http://www.pbs.org/kqed/chinainside - the episode on right now is called "Women of the Country." It's amazing and saddening all at the same time.

""Women hold up half the sky," Mao said. Yet for centuries their feet were bound and their horizons were narrow. Deprived of opportunities, China's women suffered terribly. Today, Chinese women are starting to witness changes. The young in the cities have opportunities unimaginable to their grandmothers, who survived the Great Leap Forward, and their mothers, who denounced parents and teachers in the Cultural Revolution. Yet for millions of women in rural China, change remains painfully slow."

"The government's trying to convince the people that girls are as good as boys, but by 2020, there will be a shortfall of 40 million people. Abduction and trafficking of women will increase..." <sigh>

Some of the sections were shot in XJ (Ktown) and remind me of some wonderful friends and a beautiful people.

back at the ranch...
I'm still trying to kick my post-urbana cold. It's no fun to be sick. Urbana though, was good, and then got to hang out with good friends in Houston afterwards too. Not much else to say right now (I'm a little buzzed on medicine), plus, I want to finish watching this documentary.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 23:38:31 GMT

So back in October, I got tagged by flightpath on this, and he included this challenge "And if think you don't have time to do this, consider this a spiritual discipline of remembering God's providence in everyday details. No excuses now."

It's almost two months later, but I've had it in the back of my mind to do. I need to be a little more thankful today. So, here ya go, 10 of life's simplest pleasures, in no particular order...

10. beautiful bike rides with sunshine and cool air
9. doing chores while bouncing around to happy music (today it was the backstreet boys...)
8. throwing a football with a friend
7. driving with the windows down, leaning an elbow out (especially if it's in the passenger side of a friend's pickup, and with tom petty playing)
6. making new friends - getting past the smalltalk, and getting to be real (it never ceases to amaze me)
5. reading a good book with a chai tea
4. walking on the tops of walls, you know, the ones that appear alongside sidewalks, or in front of buildings...
3. holding my friends' really cute babies
2. having little kids remember you, and say your name (or sing to you!)
1. real conversations (like #6) with old friends, and even family (especially if we're staying up way too late... and also remembering the things we've been through together)

This isn't a _simple_ pleasure for me because it's rather complicated and involves a freaking long plane trip - but I'd have to throw in, being with extended family (especially if it involves a ridiculous amount of karaoke with lots of cousins and aunts and uncles).

Alright, I'm out. I've got more cleaning to do - I've let the house be a wreck for most of the fall. Time to try and remedy that.