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| Bread Crumbs part 2Men get agitated when women ask if they are lost while driving.
Men don't ask for directions. So they buy a GPS system.
And who tells them when to turn?
A woman.
ironic
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| Disney Flannel (oh, I slayed them)And so I continue my unbridled rant upon the evil that is the Disney Channel. I tell you, people, that no good can come from that channel. Sure, High School Musical showed promise, but this was utterly ruined by the disaster that turned out to be High School Musical 2. This merely reinforces my factual opinion that all Disney sequels are rawful.
I diverge at this point to spread a theory of mine. I have this theory called the Absolute Theory. It's a philosophy I am constructing at the moment, working out the kinks and what not. It also ties philosophy with religion. That's the twist. This theory says that there are no absolutes in life except the Oneness of God, i.e. only God is Absolute. Of course, everything in philosophy needs some sort of definition. But, a theory is something you choose or choose not to believe in, same with God. So if you don't believe in God, does this mean this theory cannot pour any effect on you? I don't know. I don't have a clue, this is just my theory. Getting back to this theory, just think about it. Is there anything in this world that is absolute? From the tiniest tiny to the biggest big. Grass will not always grow in that spot because one day it will be covered with cement. That bridge will not always hold because eventually the steel will rust and will need replaced. The grass is not always greener on the other side because sometimes you are already on the other side. The Sun will not always rise in the East and set in the West because one day the Earth will slow down and turn the other way (retrograde motion). The toilet will not always flush in whatever direction it goes because it only flushes so long as there is water pumping into it; once the billpayer leaves, the toilet doesn't have the faculties needed to perform it's duties and so is rendered useless and, ironically, dumped. The lightbulb will burn out. The knife will lose it's edge. Your favorite TV series will one day just stop, leaving you cold and empty.
And while all that goes on, what will always remain? The Absoluteness of God. The theory's statement is simply, "There is nothing absolute in this world except for God." Even the theory itself isn't absolute. It would be absolute if I left it at, "There is nothing absolute in this world," but then I add the sinker. I think this theory essentially takes hold on that fact that everything is finite.
One thing that I am glad is finite is the Disney Channel. One gracious day, that corporation will lose it's power just like Neo fought the Matrix. There will be an underground rebellion that will take hold once more on the beauty that is not only television, but life as well. I mean, come on, what Channel needs to go to commercials if every single commercial just advertises the time slots for it's own shows? What is the point of having Disney channel movies on that channel and having commercials in them? It loses all appeal of it being a movie and makes it seem like an extended Disney channel show. Then again, everything on the Disney channel not only seems extended, but also seems without end. This is due to the beauty and hideosity that is the dreaded spin-off. And not just the spin-offs, but also how every show is presented in the same color and lighting as each other AS with the commercials. One could sit there for hours thinking they were watching the same show and some heathen-like way, it will all come together. Troy is going out with Gabriella and they both appear to be buddybuddy with Sharpay, who secretly likes Troy, but is being crushed on by a twin who's name is either Zak or Cody who live in a hotel which is owned by London Tipton who was a warrior of some sort that fought a returning evil with a friend who was an animated penguin or bird in a movie about surfing with a kid who starred in a Disney rendition of Boy Meets World where he was the kid with the curly hair who had an anoerexic sister who was very mean to cute Hilary Duff and I could go on and on but just thinking about cute Hilary Duff makes my heart writhe in so much anger into the horse she has turned into.
 
Why, Disney, why must you continually ruin my life.
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| Whacks, Zidane, Scrubs, and the likeI have stopped watching the Disney Channel after being moderately interested in what was happening on "Cory in the House" and when it broke for commercial, the announcer said, "Holla back at Cory in the House". At hearing a middle-aged Disney white man say this, I felt gravely offended. Not because it was a white man saying that, but because DISNEY man saying that. Even if it was a Disney black man, it still would have offended me. People are way too happy on that show.
My favorite part about eating Butterfingers is picking out the bits that get stuck in my molars.
We have established in many previous posts (all of year 2005, for example) that I am a resident genius. My geniosity sprung up again during my viewing of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. It was during this viewing that I realized WHO the Silver Surfer looked like. I scoured the internet (looked at the first page of Google results) to see if anybody else held my same opinion but apparently I am the only one with the audacity (enough free time and a blog) to put it in print. I present to you, the real Silver Surfer:
  
Going back to talking about television, I am really saddened by the fact that this coming season of Scrubs is its final season. I never ever liked Scrubs when it first came out, but just this past summer, I fell for it and am totally addicted to the 20 minutes episodes. I feel it to be a comedic soap opera for people my age. That must be the addicting part. But why does it have to end? Strangely enough, it ends the same year I graduate, that means I must become addicted to something new and different when my life goes through a new and different stage.
This is a short post because I had to publish my Silver Zidane thoughts before somebody else did.
Yup,
Salaam
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| Muh.The only people who read my xanga entries anymore are RSS Feeds. What a tragedy. | | |
| Bright Colors Make My Brain EcstaticI have this pack of Jello gelatin snacks in my fridge. It's a six pack, something I, unfortunately, am missing from my body. This six pack is called the Strawberry/Orange pack. To be honest, I never ever liked them. Why is this? I am a man of equality and values. I am a man who believes in the justice that stems from these equality and values. And in that pack of Jello, I see no equality because there is always four strawberries and two oranges. I have always been a fan of the orange artificial flavor and if I can only satiate my desires one for every two strawberry flavors, then where is the humanity in that? What is being subtlely taught to the nation's youth who delve into the strawberries and leave aside the orange? What is being understood by the nation's youth who eat the orange and have no desire for the strawberry? What, I ask, is being seen by the parents who surely should note that there is a flavor that is being neglected, a flavor that is being overlooked?
However, I diverge from my original thoughts. What I really was thinking during my Jello fiasco was how does one go about eating Jello? Do you chomp it? That seems so strange, does it not? I usually end up forcing it through my teeth, almost as if I'm rinsing my mouth with Jello. It ends up becoming a liquid from its soquid state and I just gulp it down. But say I didn't scrunch it through my teeth or didn't chomp on it. What if I just swallowed it? Could my stomach digest that?
The bright colors of the Jello rainbow make me think about cosmetics. Not cosmetics on women, cosmetics on the product testees. I've never seen an animal with makeup on its face or gel in its fur. So I asked google. In my search for bunnies with makeup, I found this logo:
I thought to myself, "Who in their right mind would test makeup on a swan? Seriously, that's the stupidest animal to test makeup on. Their appearances and textures are NOTHING like a humans. Why would you put lipstick on that beak? Humans don't have beaks." That last sentence made me think. Do some humans have beaks? Again, I asked Google. Again, my results yielded nothing but animal beaks. I was tempted to ask Jeeves but I knew that would be a grave mistake. And so, unfortunately, my short-lived desire to see pictures of cosmetically modified animals was quickly put to an end. Maybe for reasons I will never know.
But I do know one thing. And that is that I never liked the word 'Wednesday'. Nobody pronounces it like it should be pronounced. Everybody says 'Wenzday'. The proper way is 'Wed-nes-day'. But if you make the 'd' a hard d, then it becomes a 't'. Making it 'Wetnesday'. I rest my case.
Lovingly,
Salaam
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