December 10, 2013

December 29, 2013

  • Late 80s Cartoons, You Will Not Be Missed

    I started this on Facebook, but it was too bloggy. It's not a rule, but FB seems designed for brevity and pithiness. I am often neither.

    MrT

    It's probably for the best, alligator. You'd only choke on his bling.

    15 Caroons From The 80's You Probably Forgot Existed

    My memory of late 80s television cartoons pretty much is in synch with this list: a mostly crappy bunch of toy tie-in concepts floated up by some branding/merchandising focus groups and paraded in front of what they thought would be an eager and compliant young demographic. As is evident by most of them only running for 3 months in the fall (check out the dates), the majority of them did not find a home in viewers' hearts no matter how toy-ready they were. Alas, the sources of this parade of animated dookie could, by their very nature, keep squirting out terrible idea after terrible idea with very little effort or money in the hopes that the next concept would be a He-Man-style win.

    Most of the cartoons up to the mid-80s that I had been raised on had their origins in the Silver Screen years (Loony Tunes, Disney shorts), were successful copies of familiar 60s sit-com tropes (Flintstones, Jetsons), or were simply successful in their own right (Rocky and Bullwinkle). Some were based on already-popular things (Superfriends, Spider-Man). Some like Scooby-Doo and Johnny Quest were indeed specifically conceptualized and marketed like any other television show for a demographic and timeslot. Hanna-Barbera's stuff in particular was a juggernaut of this, but I'll take several Hong Kong Phooeys or Dynomutts over Cabbage Patch anything. Maybe there were some things that were licensed with their image and sold after their popularity was established (if I ever write an autobiography, the chapter of my life in the late-70s/early-80s should probably be called "Vitamins, Cereal, and Lunch Boxes" after my 3 favorite things; clearly my life is too boring to write an autobiography about). But they had proven themselves on the cutthroat battleground of Saturday Morning Television.

    That trend continued for a while in the 80s -- Smurfs, Disney and Bugs Bunny (viciously sanitized and repackaged for this new and tender time: no more drag Bugs or racist Asian tropes, please!), Muppet Babies, hell, even Pac-Man was just cashing in on pop culture. G.I. Joe was an old, long-standing toy that had faded in popularity (they were basically dolls, for whom the term "action figure" was coined to make them seem less . . . well, doll-like), and with a little tinkering - an ensemble cast, a memorable and contemporary rogues gallery, and a new post-Star-Wars style of action figures rather than the Barbie-like dolls of yore (see also: cartoon Barbie), something was created that was fondly-enough remembered to have been made into a movie with Channing Tatum. In the last 5 years.

    And then came the He-Man success, a "toy with a backstory" from 1981, debuting in syndication in 1983, and paving the way for years of terrible ideas to come. Followed quickly by Transformers, a new and rich unholy alliance between a venerable Japanese toy company and Hasbro, the idea of the "complete package" of cartoon/merchandising/toys was born, and hence many of the losers on the list below.

    A few exceptions and notes:

    * Mr. T lasted 3 years; I remember my sister enjoyed the cartoon, which was about one of the most over-the-top former wrestling personalities "turned" (heh) actor, accompanying a band of gymnasts, a dog, and a poseur around the world. Remarkable for the early branding of a personal image or style that would give us years of reality TV personas for years to come. Also: worth watching the title theme song for its Solid Gold credentials and Mr. T throwing an alligator several hundred yards.

    * The Potato Heads: Really, was there any more lovable and feelings-of-warmth-inducing toy than a potato that you could stick body parts and hats into? Answer: yes, many.

    * BraveStarr: With the power of the hawk, wolf, and puma, and a horse that could mansform into a biped. Wait, why would you not want that power too, which is arguably kind of more powerful and badass? Also, I'm pretty sure Getty Lee loaned his voice to this theme song. He discounted his rates because he clearly had a cold.

    * Legend of Zelda: Take a beloved video game hero, give him the personality of Bill Murray and rip off a catchphrase from Steve Martin. Results: Meh.

    *Ghostbusters: I actually remember the live-action original, and recall my 5 year old self thinking it was hilarious. I also recall that the 80s move with the aforementioned Bill Murray was loosely-inspired by the 70s show. And then we have a cartoon that tried to cash in on the name and created a cartoon of the 70s show, that aired around the time the cartoon based on the 80s movie was also being shown. Man, we must have really liked Ghostbusters.

    * Beverly Hills Teens: Everything -- EVERYTHING -- you hate about the 80s in contained in this theme song. It's perfect. Short enough you won't turn it off too quickly, but long enough to have the full 80s flavor hooks. It pretty much sums up everything as to why most of these cartoons were such a terrible idea. Also REALLY BIG HAIR.

October 4, 2013

  • Good grief

    Holy hells, Xanga. I leave for just a moment (okay, a year) and what the hell? Wrecking crew much?

July 10, 2012

  • Helmsley Castle

    Along with Rievaulx Abbey, we visited Helmsley Castle.  The two are close to each other and have a shared history.  Walter l'Espec built the original castle, and also was the one who deeded the land to the Cistercian monks who founded Rievaulx Abbey.

    Never really meant to be a serious military fortification, it was more of a manor home to various relations of l'Espec (himself childless), notably his sister who married Peter de Roos, and whose son subsequently updated the castle.  It last came to a cousin of de Roos, George Manners, who also updated the structure to the Tudor era.  The structures reflect a very long history of ownership and updates to what the then-landholders felt were the fashions and technology of the time.

    The castle was never quite breached in battle, but its occupancy ended during the English Civil War when Cromwell's armies besieged the monarchy-loyal occupants.  Cromwell's forces were able to prevent relief supplies from reaching the keep, and the loyalists within had to surrender or starve.  The surrender was particularly (if cynically) magnanimous, as Cromwell's generals let the loyalists essentially write their own terms -- which included all armsmen to exit the Castle, flintlocks un-saftey'd, and the servants and help of the keep to continue to serve and live.  However, after the soldiers, help, and lords/ladies were removed from the Castle, Parliament ordered the castle partly desroyed to prevent anyone from using it again.  A huge chunk of the large East tower (the side facing the town, who would no doubt witness the show of Parliament's strength) was set with charges and blown up.  It was the only real structural damage the Castle had seen, but it was the end for a long time.

    Forgotten and then allowed to fall to ruin, and then used in its ruined state as a fashionable romantic notion of a backdrop by which to have picnics, it came into the care of English Heritage.

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  • Rievaulx Abbey

      The Dissolution of the Catholic Church in England by Henry VIII in 1539 is probably the biggest origin of the ruined abbeys that dot the country.  I've posted some pictures (most recently in Winter) of St. Mary's Abbey in York.  But we took a small side trip to Rievaulx Abbey in Yorkshire to see one of the largest and most intact ruins.  At its height during the Dark Age religious fervor, the abbey held around 800 Cistercian monks.  The Cistercians succeeded the Benedictine monks philosophically, trying to more closely follow the austere rules of St. Benedict, too far from which (it was felt by the Cistercians) the Benedictine order had deviated.  Eventually, the Cistercians, too, succumbed to more worldly conforts as the result of its success.

    As the Catholic Church lost its hold under Henry VIII, all of the monastic orders lost influence and, along with it, members under the (often violent) pressure from the English crown, and in 1539, Henry VIII closed all of the abbeys and confiscated their wealth to fund the crown.  By that time, the roster of monks at Rievaulx had dwindled to around 18 or so monks when the Abbot finally bowed under the pressure of the crown and closed the monastary.  The treasure was looted and handed to Henry, and the resources that couldn't be moved or had no immediate value to the crown were stripped and absorbed into the local populace, including the very stones used to construct the abbey.

    Despite the depletion, a large chunk of the abbey still stands and the grounds "resdiscovered" after much silt and topsoil had buried the larger grounds.  It was excavated and continues to be preserved as an English Heritage site.

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  • York, Revisited

    I've been to York a few times, as I have friends who live there.  I don't tire of the place at all.  It's so interesting, beautiful, and old.  It's rich in history from the pre-Roman era through the English Civil War and it remains an important city for England, at the very least for its heritage.  It's been the backdrop of Shakespeare plays and has been at various times a seat of power for the country.

    But first a word from my non-human hosts.

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    That's Zack, the Maine Coon; Zephyr, the Bengal; and the newest addition, puppy Vesta, the Basenji.

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    The Ouse, one of the main rivers of York. You can see the "Eye of York" there in the background.  It was there when I was last there, and has returned for another spell of time. 

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    English gardens along the River Ouse

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    The outdoor market.  Closed Monday's apparently.  But that little alley is awesome.

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    Average York street scene.  The young and the old!

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    A monkey-puzzle tree.  I'd only ever heard of them, but never seen them. They're amazing.

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    Lupins! (Stick with it to 2:10 to 2:35and it will make more sense)

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    The Treasurer's House.  Originally built around 1750, it fell into terrible disrepair, until a Victorian eccentric bought it and renovated it in order to show off his antiques.  He totally changed the house around, moving fireplaces, removing floors to create a giant mideval feast hall, and various other modifications.  He also gave tours to show off the house and his collection, which is still there today, along with his renovations.

    But apart from being an interesting house, it's the site of the best ghost story I've heard in a long time.  Contrary to the link, the cellars are now indeed open (as are the attics, but you have to get there early, as they're guided tours only).

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    St. William's College, near the minster.  William is the partron saint of York (back before patron saints fell out of favor in England around the Henry's Dissolution of the Catholic churches in 1539).  It's reputed that on his return from exile to York, the crowds of people that turned out to see him over-stressed one of the wood bridges, and it collapsed.  St. William blessed the river and the fallen people and all souls survived.  The cynic in me wonders if it was a nice warm day after a drought; on the other hand, given that rivers were also mideval sewers, it probably is a miracle, although no one said anything about dying of typhus afterward.

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    Interior of a fantastic pub called Guy Fawkes where we had dinner. It's the birthplace of the eponymous notorious plotter whose visage is now most recognizable as the mask from V for VendettaReally good fennel risotto, which probably says something about the arc of history.

     

July 8, 2012

  • Abroad, Again

    Hi! I'm in England.  Started in York, visiting my friend, and now we're in Cornwall, in Trowan ("TROO-en") near St. Ives.  It's gorgeous, despite the highly variable weather that has given the UK as much rain in two days as they get in a month.

    Before we get too far, though, here's some pictures from Yorkshire, where I started.  It's Castle Howard, the manor house used in both version of Brideshead Revisited, one of my favorite books.  Evelyn Waugh was reputedly creating a pastiche when he created Brideshead, the home of the Catholic Marchmain family, but Castle Howard was a huge source of inspiration for him.  It's easy to see why.

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April 22, 2012

  • Gaultier and Physics

    I'm in the middle of an IM conversation with my nephew.  We're discussing a visit for him to take to see me here in SF in August:

    [9:31:13 AM] S7: Very good. I'm thinking August, before your school starts for next year.
    [9:31:48 AM] Nephew: Sounds great to me, I'd be glad to go down there anytime.
    [9:32:47 AM] S7: "Come up over" :) We're across the country and north of you. Prepositions, prepositions.
    [9:33:10 AM] Nephew: Whatever, I'm taking History, not Geography.
    [9:33:29 AM] S7: You still need to know where the heck you are, don't you?
    [9:34:51 AM] Nephew: Well, if I have someone who does know where I am, then it's not very logical to have two people know where they are, when the person who doesn't know where they are can just ask the person who does know.
    [9:35:21 AM] S7: Ah, you haven't started geometry yet, have you?
    [9:36:25 AM] S7: Two people need to know where they are to make a line. Of course, then you get to physics, and they'll tell you that you can either know where something is or how fast it's moving, but not both, so basically I just rely on the cat
    [9:37:16 AM] S7: Cat calm and sleepy? It's not dinnertime around my house. Cat loud and screamy? It's dinnertime around my house. It's the Bella School of time/space relativity
    [9:38:54 AM] Nephew: So I'm apparently no[t] the only [one] that relies on their animal to decide what time it is.
    [9:39:01 AM] Nephew: And I start geometry next year.
    [9:40:00 AM] S7: Nope, you're not. Bella's better than an atomic clock, except for the litterbox thing.
    [9:41:34 AM] Nephew: That probably smells atomic.
    [9:41:52 AM] S7: You don't know the half-life of it!

    I love this kid.

    I went to the DeYoung Museum yesterday to see an exhibit of Jean-Paul Gaultier's work.  He's had a one-of-a-kind career, casting a wide net for inspiration, designing clothes for coture, for film, and for music stars since the 80s, and, oh yeah, he designed those missle-tits corsets that Madonna wore.  The exhibit had some of his haute coture clothing -- quite a lot really -- from a wide variety of his collections.  Like any good museum, there were ample thoughts by the artist available in text, video, and, most amazingly/creepily, the mannequins themselves (you'll see).

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    Here's the man himself, at the front of the exhibit, with a series of mannequins arranged from right to left vaguely chronologically.  And yes, the faces moved. They were projected from overhead onto the surface of the dummies. They'd periodically open/close their eyes, talk to you, look at you, sing, and generally creep you the fuck out in the best possible way.  Gaultier's recording here was actually excerpted from an older interview.  I'm guessing that he re-filmed it for this purpose here.  It was a long recording, and he wandered from subject to subject.

    On this side of the staging, you see his iconic Marinere stripes he lifted from French sailors.

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    Queue the religious iconography...

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    There were a few from his Mermaids collection as well.

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    Detail from the purse

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    His early years, corset fascination, and Madonna collaboration.  He was fascinated by his grandmother's corsets and chose to look at them as an object of power, not subjugation.  His old teddy bear is on display, for which he, as a young child, attempted to design a corset for it.  Look out, Smokey!

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    This is a man's corset.  The mannequin is facing the corner of this part of the room, and he is facing a "mirror" accross from him.  The mirror is actually a digital moving image of the same mannequin with the same projected face having a dialogue with himself about men, clothing, and fashion, the mirror trying to explain to him that men should be able to wear beautiful things if they want:  "Clothes have no gender," the mannequin says at one point. 

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    More Madonna/S&M stuff.

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    The next gallery highlights some of his more internationalist stuff, casting his eye to Africa, Mongolia, China, Spain, and other countries that sparked his creativity.

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    PETA will be happy to know:  this isn't fur.  It's amazingly done beadwork!

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    These are from an early 1990s collection of his called Chic Rabbis.  Mazel tov!

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    Various collections of UK-Punk-inspired coture, and an emblematic codpiece.  Not the one, however, he designed for Cameo, which was featured in a video in the exhibition.

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    Ultramodern!

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    And at the end of the exhibit, some of his more recent work and film collaborations with Almodovar, Luc Besson, and others.  These next two pieces are from a collection called Movie Stars.  The woman's dress is using a fabric printed to look like film, and the bodice is actually made of celluloid film strips.

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March 15, 2012

  • RPDR Puerto Rican Invasion

     I'm a huge fan of RuPaul's Drag Race.  I watch no TV except for this show.  I hate reality TV, but this is . . . SUR-reality TV.  Which means it goes through fake and comes out the other fabulous side, usually sequined.

    And the Puerto Rican girls have a long (well, 4 seasons) and proud tradition on the show.  The enrapturing Nina Flowers was #2 in the first season and set a gold standard for future PR girls.

    And, much to my great fortune, the 5 fiercest PR queens made a one-night-only appearance in SF that I was thrilled to catch.  Here are some highlights.  Note:  I wasn't close to the stage, and my camera was low on charge (argh), so excuse any blurriness.

    Nina Flowers:  She was the edgiest queen on season one and introduced me to the very useful term "Loca" (i.e. crazy, but female gender, used on anything and anyone regardless of gender, and potentially inflammatory said to the wrong Puerto Rican person). But she proved she can do soft and hard looks with ease.  Her first performance was a softer-Nina magenta-indigo knockout.  Her second was a blue-sharkfin full-tattoos look that was outrageous. 

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    Next was Jessica Wild.  She was a stellar performer and very hard to snap a picture of because of her motion! I drank Absolut in her honor, as she was sent home from RPDR for failing a challenge in which she had to both sell herself and an Absolute Berry Acai drink. But in her failure, she coined one of the most memorable and "in the know" phrases ever uttered on TV.  "I love thees dreenk!" Seriously, if you ever say that, and one person in a crowd of 15 laughs, they watch RPDR.  Count on it.

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    Yes, it's two back shots. But a) look at that ass! and b) look at the happy people!

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    Next was Yara Sofia.  Next to Nina, Yara wins my heart.  Although Nina did a lot of "genderqueer" drag, i.e. showing off her nice muscles as well as mascara, Yara Sofia was not afraid to walk the line between gruesome and 17th century French Aristo Chic.  Yeah, I just wrote that.

    Yara Sofia could also do amazingly soft looks too. She did this one gold-bikini outfit in her season that frankly should have sent the rest of the girls packing.  She was also by far the funniest on the microphone last night.  I wish I'd been able to get more picture of her, but she was constantly in motion. 

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     And now we come to the current season.  There were two PR girls this time, and first up is Madame La Queer.  Madame brings old-school drag to the fore.  She was fantastic on stage.

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    Oh, yeah. She's got enormous tits.

    Ha! I'm just now seeing her outfit made of money, too.  Hilarious (and she likes green, and frankly looks good in it, but Michelle Visage on RPDR differs).  Still, it's great.

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    And last, and least in terms of size, especially after the plus chic Madame, is Kenya Michaels.  She failed horribly at the Snatch Game on the show, doing a camp Beyonce that was baffling and better suited to the Three Stooges.

    BUT...she was a dazzling performer, dancing like a thing possessed, and really was, in all her nearly-five-feet-tall tiny glory, a sight to behold last night.   She and Jessica got the crowd going and could dance and move on that stage like nothing I've ever seen. 

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    Viva Puerto Rico!