well, i am at masterworks in winona lake indiana. i am already approaching the end of week one. crazy. it is wonderful to be back. there are the most AMAZING people here... i can't even begin to tell you. i am busy. tired. overwhelmed (a little). excited. ETC. it is so cool to be surrounded by SO MANY christian musicians... in ONE place. it's unlike anything i have ever experienced outside of MWF.

as usual, i am not good at sharing profound insights or things i'm learning (in my own words, at least)... but here is yet another super encouraging devotional i received in my inbox this morning. God bless you all =) <3

The Desires of My Heart (by: elisabeth elliot)

I had been praying for something I wanted very badly. It seemed a good thing to have, a thing that would make life even more pleasant than it is, and would not in any way hinder my work. God did not give it to me. Why? I do not know all of his reasons, of course. The God who orchestrates the universe has a good many things to consider that have not occurred to me, and it is well that I leave them to Him. But one thing I do understand: He offers me holiness at the price of relinquishing my own will.

"Do you honestly want to know Me?" He asks. I answer yes. "Then do what I say," He replies. "Do it when you understand it; do it when you don't understand it. Take what I give you; be willing not to have what I do not give you. The very relinquishment of this thing that you so urgently desire is a true demonstration of the sincerity of your lifelong prayer: Thy will be done.

So instead of hammering on heaven's door for something which it is now quite clear God does not want me to have, I make my desire an offering. The longed-for thing is material for sacrifice. Here, Lord, it's yours.

Got this devo in my inbox this morning... Elisabeth Elliot. it is EXACTLY what i needed this morning. It is possible I am the only one that needed it- in fact, that's even more cool. But I didn't want to keep something awesome from all of you... just in case ;) So read and *SIGH*.... =) God is awesome.

Spiritual Equilibrium

Sometimes a hope or desire lays hold on one with such power that it becomes almost burdensome, even though the thing is a delight to contemplate. The ordinary business of life must be attended to, but this thing carries a lot of weight in soul, mind, and heart. It has a strong pull. And when you are carrying a heavy weight, you have to compensate in order to keep your balance. The best means to spiritual equilibrium, I find, is to look repeatedly at the things which are not seen, that is, at things which are eternal. What Evelyn Underhill calls "the pressure of the Divine Charity" forever urges me forward, counteracting the pressure of my emotions and human desires, reminding me with great patience and great persistence that this thing--this love, this longing, this huge desire--is the very thing God Himself gave, in order that I might have "somewhat to offer." He will see to it that it does not come to nothing, provided we lay it before Him, put it at his disposal.

Hola from the Sunshine State!

i say "hola" because 88% of the people here are .... latin american? hispanic? mexican? spanish speaking? ok, i'm really sorry i don't know the politically correct term... i'm so used to my sarcastic brothers, i don't even know what is right anymore. please don't be offended, any of you who might be ___. k, thanks.

i say Sunshine State because... well, lol that's what Florida is called. wow, i'm deep.

it is very hot in this state at this time of year. it has been in the 90s every day and i have already sufficiently fried my precious ivory skin. (ha) i have decided to give myself a break from the sun today and stay inside until late this afternoon/evening when i can go out and swim without coating up with sunscreen and burning the burn.

my mom, God love her, makes friends with everyone. i mean, i love people too... but she like seriously starts having CONVERSATIONS with everyone around us at the pool and restaurants and at the resort. lol it's funny. last night we were up in our condo and the boys referred to "that guy and his wife at the pool today" and mom was like, "oh no, that was his ex-wife... they were divorced two years ago, but he is traveling with her and his stepson and... they drove down here from __ (i forget) but are flying back, which he's glad about because ___... blah blah blah." i was like.... oh boy. i'm guessing you know that because you talked to him for like 30 minutes today and got his life story. haha i love my mom.

the place we're staying is a 2 bedroom lock off, which means it's like two separate little apartments (bedroom and bathroom in each) separated by locked doors (key swipe entry). my brothers have the smaller side which they lovingly refer to as the "man cave". i am not allowed inside... which doesn't really matter because i wouldn't want to go over there anyway. i used their bathroom the first day and they freaked out. lol whatever boys. they call our side the "babe cave" - except dad sleeps there too, so i'm not really sure... haha

yeah, so mom and dad have the bedroom in the bigger side (it's bigger because it has a full kitchen and big living room with flatscreen tv.)... which means, i have the couch. it's fine except i'm the one who can't just "go to bed" because i have to wait until the living room clears out and TV watching ceases so i can claim my couch for the night. it's fine, though =) as long as i'm not sharing a bed with one of my huge and crazy brothers, i'm a happy vacationer.

i have been man-handled in the pool every day since we got here (by, surprise surprise, my brothers) and have done absolutely nothing productive and have been sufficiently lazy the entire time. it's great.

we are in Orlando, btw. haha for those of you who didn't know. so we're planning to go to one of the 8,000 theme parks while we are here... i seem to be the only one who wants to go to Magic Kingdom and see the castle and get pictures with mickey and goofy and donald duck... oh, and prince charming *sigh*. my brothers want to do Universal Studios or something "grown up" like that. whatever. i give. i know i'm just being a 5 year old... but i really wanted to go!

anyway, i'm sitting in the activities center with mom's laptop stealing wireless internet right now and my family was going to get ready to go out for pizza for an early lunch pretty soon. i should head back so i don't miss out on that outing.

the fact that we can get internet is great, EXCEPT facebook is blocked from the network. i'm like... going crazy:/ i know that is pathetic of me, but i am going to have like 8 hours of stalking to catch up on when i get home. oh dear. what i'm trying to say is, if something important happens this week (or has happened since thursday), PLEASE CALL/TEXT ME... or send me an e-mail. i'd hate to be out of the loop =)

back to my intense life!

ciao,

me.