scottishchick's Xanga

Freaking out a little

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:04:34 GMT

So, I haven't received my financial aid options to accept yet. I am starting to worry. They wanted me to change my Dependent Verification Form and I did. So then, where is my money?? Or if I did it wrong again, why haven't they contacted me? The information I had to figure out cannot be that important. I guess I will wait a week or two more and then I will need to contact them. This is starting to suck. At least I still have a dorm room and a class schedule.

Resuming natural state in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 13:40:21 GMT

Life is finding its way back to normal. I miss my mom but she should be returning on Tuesday. Work has been nice and the other day I checked my bank account and there was over $300 more dollars than I was expecting to see. The reason being is that my direct deposit came through for work and I had forgotten about it. I ran errands yesterday and finally deposited my birthday money from John & Trish as well as got off my next letter to Fosco. That should not have taken as long as it did. Reasons Excuses being laziness and work. Right now I am spending the day with my dad as to avoid laziness and feel like I did more with my one day off than sit around the apartment all day. We went to Champion Forest Baptist Church again (this being my second time) and I have to say that I really enjoy the atmosphere. I have found myself feeling out of place at most new churches I have been too, especially if they are baptist (don't ask me why), but I really enjoy the pastor at Champion Forest. The worship music could use a kick into the 21st century but they do tend to pick songs that say something with the lyrics at least. Anyway, I should go spend some time with my dad and eat some lunch. Talk at you later!

P.S. Don't judge me for the book. It is simply a silly summer read. I will be moving on to Ian McEwan, Jane Austen, David Sedaris or Margaret Attwood next.

State of shock

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:21:26 GMT

My granny died today.

I've seen my mother sad but she hardly ever cries and today she cried. That's not a feeling I would wish on anyone. I hardly remember my granny. I know the stories. I even remember some of the times I spent with her but that in no way means I knew her. Then why am I so sad? Why does it feel like I have a dull ache all the way from my chest to my tear ducts? We say she is in a better place and for the most part I believe that but at the same time I can't wrap my head around the fact that she's gone. I will never get to see her again but more importantly my mother didn't get to say goodbye. I worry that she will never forget that. That every time she thinks about her mother it will be twinged with remorse and regret. I know Granny has been slowly slipping out of any conscious memory of any of her family but she was still our family. She was my only living grandmother for goodness sake. I spent my youth trying not to see her in hospice care because it was akward and she didn't know me. Now that I am coming to an age where akward and uncomfortable are not adjectives that stop me from doing what I know is right, she is gone and I can't spend time with her. Life is hard, too hard, sometimes.

I have to go make sure my mother is ready for her trip out to California tonight. It's all I can do for her and I am pretty sure it is all she wants me to do. It's what has always meant the most to my mother.

I think I just hyperventilated...

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 16:59:31 GMT

I received my first, EVER, paycheck from a summer job and it was the best feeling. Much larger than what I get paid up at school. I literally had a sharp intake of breath before jumping up and running to call my mother, so as to brag. I also get a day off tomorrow. Life is good friends, very, very good!!

Does distance make the heart grow fonder?

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:29:24 GMT

I seem to be finding myself feeling distant and detached from everyone I know. For some it is a matter of mileage and others it is emotional but then there are those with whom, I'm afraid, I feel both physical and emotional distance. I keep telling myself that I have plenty of reasons, only one of them being that I am adjusting to working over the summer. However, a tiny voice inside my head keeps telling me that there is something more to it. I am not sure why I decided to write this down, and on the INTERNET of all places, but I am starting to believe it has something to do with my habit of not fully facing things unless I have said them aloud or put them down in writing. Now it's just a waiting game to see if I figure this out, of if it fixes itself, or last but not least, I let it fester FOREVER (okay, so that was a little over dramatic but it was fun:).

Is this for real?!

Mon, 26 May 2008 18:25:27 GMT

How do people do it? I mean summer jobs are exhausting. I had orientation on Saturday and I worked today. Man, I have a whole new respect for anyone willing to make coffee for a living. I am only doing it for the summer and there are times when you are making so many espresso shots (with 3/4 of them not working out) that you just want to throw yours hands up and beg for everyone to just get smoothies, lemonade, water and tea.

Other than that, life is life. Mom and I spent the entire day out of the apartment yesterday. Come to think of it, I have been outside the apartment for the majority of the day for the past three days now. It isn't going to stop being that way until Thursday. Thursday is my only day off this week. Better rest up now.

WooHoo!!

Thu, 22 May 2008 12:59:11 GMT

Happy, is it a word? Haha. I got a summer job. That's right I, Olivia Hammond, queen of "nothing to do this summer" have a job. I'm excited and nervous. I start Saturday. I get paid 8 dollars an hour, how awesome is that?! Well, that's my update.

Let's Celebrate!

Tue, 13 May 2008 03:05:14 GMT

I have maintained a 4.0!! Alright, I should sleep now.

Good Grief Charlie Brown

Thu, 08 May 2008 19:32:14 GMT

I am tired, so tired. I just took my last final. It was okay, nothing special. I'm sure I passed. Now I get to clean and at 8pm I am watching the Office. Tomorrow I move out. I am really hoping all works out. Such as, Kristina takes the fridge and all my things fit in my dad's car. Crossed fingers and prayer are always welcome. Sleep will be lovely tonight.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:15:00 GMT

Here's how it looks...

For the rest of the semester, which is about 2-3 weeks, I am merely making it one day at a time.

First, this week is comprised of online quiz on tuesday, homework due wednesday, work on wednesday, online quiz on thursday, the office thursday evening, Economics exam on friday and work friday afternoon, free saturday, and free sunday.

Second, next week plays out as follows: DEAD WEEK! Which basically looks like a cemetary during the day, there are a few people hanging around but for the most part it is still the place of the dead-which means empty and quiet. That's probably why they call it dead week. LOL! If you just took me seriously you need a head examination. In all honesty, it is going to be a week like any other. Monday I have economics class and managerial accounting for sure but I might not have tourism (THANK THE LORD!). Tuesday I have food prep where we get to bring in out favorite homemade dishes for extra credit. Wednesday I have an economics writing assignment due and possibly tourism (I know he is reviewing one day, we'll see if I go). Thursday I have to go clean up my food prep lab or I get an incomplete. Friday I have economics review and then I get on a train and go to Belton to see my family and spend the weekend celebrating my sister's graduation from college.

Third, the last week-the dreaded finals week. I have three finals on monday. Economics at 10:30, Toursim at 1:30 and Managerial accounting at 5:30. Tuesday I have my Food Prep final at 1:30. Wednesday I have nothing but free time (and sunshine?). Thursday I have most of the day to sleep and study then I have my Resort/Club Management final at 5:30. Friday, if all goes well, I will be seeing my family and moving out of Maple for the last time.

The end of the year feels so close, I can hardly believe it. The only painful thing is the fact that once I get home I have to go out and find a job, as well as, make the decision whether or not to take summer school this summer.

P.S. Fosco turns 21 on May 15th. WOOHOO FOR COUNT FOSCO!! Now to decide how to stellar-fye her birthday while I am four and a half hours away...hmmm(runs fingers through imaginary beard).