For all the hype and anticipation leading up to the unprecedented May 10th Conversation about Homosexuality that our church hosted for Christians on Social Issues (CSI), I find it hard to believe it's been 48 hours since it happened.  Our church is selling a 2-CD set ($4, I believe) if you want to have your own copy but the entire conversation (sans the 22-min movie "In God's House") should be available for listening/download at www.ebcla.org this week sometime.

As I shared in my brief opening attempt to "frame" the evening, my wife's biggest concern/fear is that both some who attended and some who didn't will distort and contort what we not only were praying would happen but we believe indeed happened that evening.  Even though Moderator/Host Bill Watanabe made a point of repeating throughout the evening that the purpose was to facilitate an honest and personal conversation around the issue of homosexuality and the AsiAm evangelical church, that there was little chance that anyone or everyone would agree with what people up front said, that this was not going to be a debate on what the Bible really says, there are still plenty of people, especially Christian ones, who do not believe it is wise or even 'biblical' to foster an unconstructed, unbiased dialogue on the subject of homosexuality.  Even to 'allow' an openly gay Christian (shudder!) the freedom to reveal his painful journey and to speak of his current conclusion that making him homosexual must have been God's choice because it certainly wasn't his, that by itself is a terrible error because it says to people that any person's journey carries the same weight of 'truthiness' as God's eternal Word.  I know for a fact that there were some in attendance who came with these convictions and left with these concerns because I observed one of them near the end of the evening trying to convince Bill to allow him some microphone time (denied!) and immediately afterwards that person and his buddy (I was going to say 'partner' but that might REALLY freak them both out!)--well-worn Study Bibles firmly in hand--spent about 10 minutes spelling out the above concerns (and more!) before I told them that their time with me was up.  Before I lost patience, I kept trying to tell them that, in my two earlier sermons, I'd already clearly stated that the practice of homosexuality was a sin--as they believed--but I just wasn't as uncivil about it as they were.   If the camera  wasn't  filming  this confrontation, I probably would have pulled the trigger on that argument sooner!


What Gary Hayashi did that night was talk openly and insightfully about what it was like to grow up and serve in the Christian Church while struggling secretly with feelings of same sex attraction.  He remembered feeling stirrings of SSA as far back as age two.  Most of us straight folks who were there that night had never before heard the pain-soaked journey of a now-openly-gay Christian.  Of the years of self-loathing.  Of the failed attempts to 'butch up' and be more masculine.  Of the reprimands growing up for having crushes on boys.  Of the two desperate episodes when suicide seemed the better option.  Of the startling challenge from the God of the Bible one day to see "if I don't love you as you are."  Marian Sunabe and I had heard bits and pieces of Gary's story, but even we were astonished at the level to which Gary took us into his life.  He was able to do that BECAUSE he knew that he wasn't going to be attacked, wasn't going to be put on the defensive, wasn't going to be invalidated because some of his Christian convictions don't match some of ours.  And so what we were treated to was breath-takingly revealing.  The deep degree of self-revelation that Gary risked in front of more than 300 people was unprecedented in a predominantly AsiAm evangelical setting.  Gary was able to give us an amazing gift that night BECAUSE we had all agreed that this was going to be a conversation around the issue of homosexuality.

Did I agree with everything he said?  No, and he didn't need me too.  Did I agree with everything Marian said?  No, and she (maybe for the first time) didn't need me too either.  Did those two agree with everything that I said?  Absolutely not, and I'm STILL upset about that! (I kid you, ok?)  Again, what we had been learning in our times together in preparation for May 10th was what I believe we were able to model: how to have a civil, respectful, and real conversation even in the face of differing convictions. 

I've heard from a number of people from EBCLA who were there who said that, while they didn't agree with some of what any of us three said, they were elated that we displayed such honesty and respect around an extremely controversial and divisive subject.  Those from the activist LGBT community who were there were simply astonished that there was such a huge turnout AND that it never became a witch-trial AND that it happened in an evangelical, historically Asian (but now diverse) church.  They haven't stopped thanking us for pulling this together, even though they know that my official position stops way short of theirs on this issue. 

I'm sure that there are very conservative, very concerned Christian brethren at this very moment who are sounding the warning claxons on their blogs that Pastor Ken Fong and this church (hey, what about CSI?) are wolves in sheeps clothing, that we can't be trusted and that we are a dangerous church.  But I also know that right now, Christians and nonbelievers in the LGBT community are also talking nonstop about what happened on May 10th.  About how CSI and EBCLA were willing to risk getting tarred and feathered because God's perfect love casts out fear (1 Jn 4:18).  And perhaps, just maybe, some of them are rethinking their attitudes about God and His good news, that it might even include them, but on His terms.  So maybe we ARE a dangerous church.

Every day, each of us must share the same living space, the same church, the same work environment, the same country, and the same planet with LOADS of folks who don't share our convictions.  Our differences revolve around things like sexuality, politics, culture, religion, music, etc.  I'm convinced it's crucial that we all have solid convictions and as a Christian, I'm biased towards the kind that come from a high view of the Bible.  But there's never going to be a day when everyone on earth or at least in our specific portion of the planet share all the same convictions.  All of this is to say that it's absolutely necessary AND crucial that we all come to our senses and realize that each of us is already here (personhood), that none of us is moving to another planet (global village), and so ALL of us better figure out how to co-exist civilly alongside people who don't share our convictions. 

And if, like me, you claim to be an apprentice of Jesus, we should be forging that path of reconciliation for the rest of the world.

Several weeks ago, I was this close to putting forth a blog-defense of Rev. Jeremiah Wright as his "God d___ America!" sermon-sound-bite was being used to pillory Sen. Obama.  But with the retired minister's grabbing the microphones this week, I find myself utterly dismayed with him.

You see, originally, I was going to write about how much of White America simply didn't know about or "get" the long and storied tradition of the Black prophetic pulpit (which were the proving ground for the now famous speeches by MLK).  That what to untrained, mainly White ears sounded alarmingly like inflammatory, 'un-Christian' rhetoric was actually the unique perspective of those who once had been enslaved and who continued to suffer prejudice and injustice in "the land of the free and the home of the brave."  Rev. Wright had suffered innumerable injustices and oppression, growing up pre-CRM in the South and knew first-hand of the national sins that he was exposing.  It is far too narrow a definition of patriotism never to criticize our culture or country when called for.  And it's far too convenient for those who've never or rarely suffered or been sinned against by the darker aspects of America to rear back in horror upon hearing such accusations.  In fact, I still am chewing on the question of why I, as a nonWhite preacher, am not EVER angry at things like corporate greed and systemic injustice, even if I don't have first hand experience with it.

I listened to Sen. Obama's Philadelphia response and was among the many who were very moved with his measured and gracious response to criticism of his former pastor and spiritual mentor and his eloquent and thoughtful treatment of the ongoing issues attached to race in America.  Like many, I was more than ready to move on.

Apparently, Rev. Wright wasn't.  This week he was back in the headlines, making fresh outrageous statements in support of Nation of Islam leader Farrakhan and again, raising the spector of AIDS being a plot of the federal government aimed at unsuspecting Blacks (like the horrible Tuskegee Experiment, whereby over 400 Black men with syphilis were not treated in order to see firsthand the consequences of this venereal disease).  Whatever his motives, Wright came across as egotistically defending himself, as if he felt like Obama had thrown him under the proverbial bus in order to distance himself politically from his former pastor.  Wright could have (should have) waited until after the presidential election had been decided to say such things (which is his right) if he TRULY believed what he has preached for decades: that it's critical for this country's future to diversify the places of power with capable people of color.  I don't blame Obama for dropping Wright altogether this week; he didn't really have any choice.  But I got the distinct impression that Rev. Wright barely noticed.  He seemed to be enjoying his 15 minutes of fame too much.  I'm smelling a bigger advance for a book deal if he can prove he can grab the spotlights and the headlines. 

If you ever catch me doing that kind of ego-feeding garbage, do me a huge favor and please slap me upside my big fat head.

Peace,

pken.

If you've been reading my last couple of blogs, then you should know that our church (EvergreenLA) will be the host site for the C.S.I. (Christians on Social Issues) event "We Need to Talk: A Needed Conversation between 3 Old Friends (2 straight and 1 gay)."  We will also be screening "In God's House" which is a short documentary featuring three AsiAm lesbians and their families.  Harold and Ellen Kameya, one of the featured sets of parents, will be joining the conversation following the film.  And, yes, Director Chris Wong is still making a short film of this entire process which we hope will demonstrate how important it is for concerned people to come together and engage in respectful conversation around this divisive issue.  If you're going to be in LA on Saturday, May 10, I hope you can be there.  It is scheduled to run from 7-9:30 pm.  From what I've heard so far, a number of openly homosexual AsiAms (Christian and Non) are planning to attend.  Even though they have been told that this event is not aimed at converting people to their way of thinking, they are excited that there is going to be an open conversation.

By now, if you're interested, you can podcast my first of two messages (www.ebcla.org) on homosexuality in order to prepare our church for what's coming.  Under the umbrella of "Is there a place for homosexuals in the evangelical church?", I called the first message "Conviction."  Rather than go over the six main biblical passages that address homosexuality, I chose instead to lay out the traditional Christian interpretation of what the Bible says about gender, sexual intercourse, and marriage.  Ultimately, I tried to make a clear case that God purposely created us as a gendered people to reflect his image, with an inherent desire to experience the fullness of God's image through the joining with the opposite sex within the commitment of covenantal love.  However, the Fall sullied what God had designed for good and ever since, ALL of human sexuality has been broken (not just homosexuality).  Christ offers all of us whose desires and longings have been tainted by sin a way to experience the redemption of our sexual selves, but it means aligning ourselves with his moral precepts that are found in his Word.  I shared that my biggest struggle with Christian homosexuals is that they seem to think that, unlike other broken sexual beings, they deserve a "pass" on purity, chastity and celibacy.  This Sunday, I'll be giving the second message, "Civility" where I'll try and describe how we must endeavor to co-exist with those who don't share our convictions. 

This first message was, in a way, tough for me to deliver because I knew ahead of time that I would upset many of my close friends at church who have a much more liberal way of looking at this issue.  And I know that some of the more conservative friends who were thrilled with my first message may be disturbed by some of what I say in this second message.  Someone asked me, following my first message, what I'm hoping to accomplish by putting so much focus on this tough and divisive issue.  Honestly, it's really just two things.  First, I hope to bring this issue out of the shadows, to enable people to talk honestly about it, and to encourage those who are struggling with it to share these struggles at church.  Some of this conversation is starting to take place now, just because we've put the topic on the table.  Second, even though I know that I won't go far enough for some people, I hope that our church can at least be a safe place for those who are struggling with homosexual feelings (especially) and perhaps even with homosexual behavior (to some degree).  We haven't been that in the past, we're not that now, but I hope we will continue to seek ways to be more like that in the near future.

Even if the May 10th event fails to live up to my expectations, I've already been tremendously enriched and challenged by the numerous conversations I've had with Gary Hayashi (gay friend on the panel), Marian Sunabe (straight friend who affirms homosexuals without condition), family members of LGBTs, and even LGBTs outside of the Christian circle. 

How are you affected by this issue?  Have you told anyone to come to this event?  How have you managed to live with the tension between Christian convictions and loving your neighbor as yourself?

pken.