senorpequeno's Xanga

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wed, 23 May 2007 11:40:47 GMT

I. Met. PAULA DEEN.

I. MET. PAULA DEEN!!

Who is Paula Deen, you ask? She is only THE coolest person on television. If any of you have ever watched the Food Network, you will recognize her as the feisty, Georgia-native who includes pounds of butter in ever recipe and uses colorful cultural phrases to describe her food: (i.e. "That's so dee-lish-us, it'd make a poe' man sit up and slap his momma 'cross da' face")

If any of you know me, you'll also know that I adore this woman. Imagine my delight when I found out she was coming to southern Ohio for a book-signing. So, I made the 45 minute-drive, stood in line for a collective 4 hours, talked to countless elderly, rural women who had just had their hair done for the event, purchased her new book (the only item she would sign), and anxiously awaited my turn at the table. It was but a brief 15-second visit; she extended her hand, I told her she was the coolest person on television, she gave me the "Oh...well...I guess, that's sweet.." kind-of-look, and signed my book. Then I was whisked away by security, as gaggles of country bumpkins surged behind me to see her.

In shock, I just kind of wandered around the store afterward...similar to the opening scene in Saving Private Ryan where that soldier stumbles across the beach, holding his blown-off arm. It happened so quickly. I had seen Paula Deen. I had touched Paula Deen. Would the Lord now take me home? What more was there to live for?

I'm still pondering these questions; but one thing is for sure: I MET PAULA DEEN!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:32:06 GMT

So, why didn't anyone tell me that it's possible to see who's visited your Xanga within the last week? All this time, I thought Xanga was a secretive world of voyeuristic thrills: I read about your life, yet you never know I've been there. WRONG. You not only know I was there, but you know when I was there. I guess it's no big deal...I just feel like one of those violated victims in a Lifetime movie.

I'm visiting Grace this weekend. I'm coming up for Jenna Linder's Senior Art Reception. Wow. Jenna's a senior. I remember when she was just a wee freshman, sweating along with work-out videos in Jill Dimmateo's apartment as Kim Bright pinched their butts and ate strawberry jam by the spoonful. If I had a nickel for everytime I saw that same scene in Beta...

Speaking of Grace, my transferring there in the fall is full steam ahead unless God slams the door shut. If you've spoken to me in the last 6 months, you know of the mental tug-of-war I've waged between staying in Dayton and transferring back to Grace.

On one hand, I'm loving the life that's developing here in Dayton: Life near a city. No signs of lake-effect. A church that I love...probably love more than any church of which I've ever been a part. A house church/small group from that church that I am growing to love. A weekly Bible study I attend that has been very interesting. The comfort of family and old friends. Seeing Dayton's skyline every day. Having multiple choices of things to do on the weekend; not just one of two as I had in Indiana (i.e. "Well, we can go to Applebee's or Wal-Mart)

Yet, on the other hand, I can't imagine staying at UD. I'm going through the motions here. So much of my interest and passion has sub-sided. I've realized that I love learning, not just about people and their issues, but about people, their issues, and their place in the picture of God's truth. I've realized that grad school, at least in the form of counseling, is like training. Yet, I'm not being trained in the areas I desire to learn about the most.

Therefore, I thought that maybe I should just take time off. Leave UD and live in Dayton for a couple of years. But, after less than a year in Dayton, I'm already finding it hard to leave my comfort zone. If I was to stay another 2 or 3, I think it would feel impossible. And I know that I would regret not pursuing my Master's at Grace. I would regret settling with whatever office job I could find as a means of living the comfortable life in Dayton; while ignoring the interest/passions I have for learning how to dig down to the soul with people through God's truth...

At the same time, moving to Grace means leaving this ever-strengthening comfort zone. I don't mean to say that my comfort here is all bad. My church and the relationships I'm building are blessings. I know I prefer life near a city over life in rural Indiana. But should these things be big enough to stop me from following what may be a calling? I fear the loans I would need for Grace (as compared to the grad assistantship I have here which equals free tuition...although I work with, in all honesty, a schizophrenic secretary who attempts to make life in the office a living hell for some of the GA's.) I fear having to find an apartment. A church. A small group all over again. Is it worth it?

I've been praying about this for a long time. I keep feeling confirmed that I should move toward Grace. So, I am. If God doesn't want me there, then I pray He will clearly tell me "NO". If not, I somewhat excitedly-somewhat hesitantly-somewhat nervously wait to see what He has in store.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 11:34:59 GMT

Ahhh, a new up-date. I think I average one a month.

For all of you who know what a cinephile-geek I am, you know that my version of the SuperBowl just ended: The 2006 Oscar season. It was a good show, I thought...some deserving winners, some let-downs.

Don't even get me started on Jennifer Hudson; a voice should never get an Oscar. A Grammy? Yes. An Oscar? No. Adriana Barraza was r-o-b-b-e-d. I have a new adoration: Helen Mirren. I loved The Queen and her performance in said film. She has somehow taken the 60+ age-range and made it sexy. Who was the last woman to do that? Barbara Bush? She was the first to make support hosiery seem devilishly foxy.

All hail The Mirren!

Forrest Whitaker did a great job in The Last King of Scotland, but he was more supporting than lead. It would have been cool to see O'Toole finally rewarded an Oscar, but alas, he is meant to die without a golden boy. Plus, his nomination seemed more sentimental than performance-focused. I was thrilled to see Eddie Murphy lose. Harsh words, I know...but the Dreamgirls hype is profoundly un-deserved. Any of the nominees were more deserving, and I was glad to see Alan Arkin win his first.

Scorcese finally got his due. Hip-Hip-Hooray for Marty! Though I don't think Grace College will be showing The Departed as movie-of-the-week any time soon, I really enoyed the performances and the way in which Scorcese told the story. I think I prefer Babel and The Queen, but The Departed was still in my top 10 movie-going experiences of 2006.

Speaking of movies, I recently watched A Cry in the Dark. You know, the one from which we get the famous line, "The dingo took my baby!" So get this, it's based on a true story...in 1980, a dingo took a woman's baby from her family's camping tent and ran off into the night. Only the mother, Lindy Chamberlain, saw it happen. However, no one believed her. The media began to speculate that she had murdered the infant, disposed of the body, and fabricated the dingo-tale. Thus ensued a whirlwind of national gossip and tabloid coverage...

...So, Chamberlain is taken to court and found guilty of murder. The jurors said she didn't seem "upset enough"...of the bloody baby clothing found in the desert, none of it had dingo saliva on it...Chamberlain said it was because the baby had an (unfound) jacket on, the prosecution said this was a lie...so, Chamberlain is sentenced to life in prison with hard labor...many cry out for her execution...

Meryl Streep as Lindy Chamberlain. On a side note, though it sounds cliche, Streep really is an acting demi-god. Her canon of performances is mind-blowing. I would gladly let her slap my face, if it so pleased her.

8 years pass by, and a forest ranger stumbles upon a shredded infant's jacket near a dingo's lair...badda-bing, badda-boom, it's discovered to be that of the Chamberlain's baby...Lindy Chamberlain is released from prison and rewarded 1.3 million dollars (roughly a tenth of what she spent on legal fees). Now, I know I've presented a fairly one-sided view of this incident, but this film got me thinking about the judicial process: about the media's influence on a juror's objectivity...how gossip and speculation can destory a person's life...about the death penalty and how, in this case, it would have ended an innocent life...interesting food for thought.

Ok, so, I just realized I've written paragraph after paragraph about film-related material and nothing about my life. I will do that soon, as I have a lot to catch up on. And just so you all know, I read many of your Xanga's to stay abreast on your lives. So, though I don't comment, know that I care and eagerly await your next up-date as I'm sure you've been awaiting mine.

And the nominees are...

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 08:40:17 GMT

Academy Award nominations in 8 minutes...here are my guesses:

Picture: Babel, The Queen, The Departed, Little Miss Sunshine, Dreamgirls

Actor: Forrest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland...Peter O'Toole, Venus...Leonardo DiCaprio, The Departed...Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness...Sasha Baron Cohen, Borat

Actress: Helen Mirren, The Queen...Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada...Judi Dench, Notes On A Scandal...Penelope Cruz, Volver...Kate Winslet, Little Children.

Supp. Actor: Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls...Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond...Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine...Mark Wahlberg, The Departed...Brad Pitt, Babel.

Supp Actress: Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls...Cate Blanchett, Notes On A Scandal...Adrianna Barrazz, Babel...Rinko Kinckochu (sp?), Babel...Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine.

I hope I'm wrong on many of these...but I'll soon find out...now I must go! 1 MINUTE UNTIL NOMINATIONS!

You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Cry...

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 12:57:55 GMT

Hello children! I'm coming to town next weekend! That means from November 17th to November 19th, I will be in Winona Lake. Now, I know Thanksgiving Break is right around the corner for you all and I know this means oodles of work...but, if you have any free time, I'd love to see you. I'm not sure where I'm staying yet, nor am I 100% sure how long I'll be able to stay...but either way, I'd love to see you!

Hello out there!

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 14:40:36 GMT

Hello friends. I haven't up-dated in forever. If you're reading this, you're probably a good friend from Grace College. Please know that you've been in my thoughts and that, at some point, I've said to myself, "Geesh, I need to write ______ (fill in the blank)"

So life is new and big and scary and overwhelming and oddly, seemingly slow. It's been about a month now that I've worked as both a student and grad assistant for the University of Dayton. How is it, you ask? Well, good...bad...I don't know. How about the good first?

Good: Grad assistant means 15 hours of free tuition every 2 semesters and I'll average 7-8 hrs. a semester. Good times. My assistantship is in the Counseling Dept. office, so I'm getting to know a lot of the professors and faculty. That's really cool since I have them in class and I feel much more connected to the campus because of it. The secretary in the office orders text books for the profs and, since I'm a GA in this office, she can order some of my books for me for free. Not all of them, mind you, but some. Soo, the 3 books and 2 workbooks I needed for this semester, I got free of charge. That's a great perk of being a GA. The profs are nice and so far the class work is completely manageable.

Bad: I am so used to learning from the Christian point of view, that I'm finding it incredibly difficult discerning what to accept and base my views on and what to refute. On one hand a lot of this is my fault. I realize now that I got very, very comfortable with my trust-level at Grace. Though I did a lot of critical thinking, I accepted pretty much everything I heard. I never thought a text book might mislead me because, after all, someone at Grace approved it. I was constantly hearing about God, therefore, in every area except my personal relationship with Him, I didn't have to exert much effort in maintaing a Christ-like POV. Now at UD, an academic environment where that built-in pov is completely gone, I fear that I'll become a flat, humanistic counselor who will offer un-Godly help to people.

So, I wonder, "Should I just bite the debt and transfer to a Christian counseling program? Is that necessary?" As graduation approached in May, I really prayed for direction. I felt drawn to Dayton. Grace felt like a closing chapter in my life. I prayed about finances and the cool doors (as mentioned above) opened. But now, should I leave? Do I trust that this is where God wants me or do I trust that He can cover the debt I'll have at a place like Grace? Is the grass simply greener on the other side and therefore I'm drawn back to the comfort I had at Grace? Yet, in a learning environment such as this, how do I compensate for the teaching style? One Christian counseling book read on the side for every 3 hours of class?

I've been praying for a strong spiritual foundation. I'm looking for a new church now that I'm back in Dayton full-time. I've been praying for and building the courage to seek close friendships with other Christians in the area. Peers, mentors, maybe even a Christian counselor to seek advice from (that would be nice). My relationship with God is growing and rarely have I sought Him so much. I know this is good. I'm just so scared that I'm doing the wrong thing. Then I get frustrated because I think, "Well, how do I know what the right thing is? There are Christians in 'secular' colleges all over the world. But can I impact people and grow as a Christian professional in an environment such as this?"

Well, this is very very long, but I guess I'm making up for months of not writing. Above are the struggles I'm facing, not to mention life back at home with the parents, starting all over on a social level, etc.- (but I'll save that for another post )

On a pop-culture side-note...how about Project Runway?!?! Man, I love that show. I hated, hated, HATED Vincent. Honestly, he was a loathsome human being. How did he make that far? How did he beat Milan? Alison? ROBERT? Oh, Robert, how I wish you were still in the game. Anyone have any guesses for the final 3? I'm rooting for Michael...what a great guy. Laura is great and I'd love to see her up there. Jeffrey will probably make it (maybe somewhat deservedly) but I still hate him. He's the meanest person ever to be on PR. Ulee is good but she always makes flippin' silk, beach dresses for some Miami surf and turf party.

Go Michael!

Ok, I love you all. I miss you and the campus on which you walk. I'm making it- where and how I'm still not sure-but God's doing something. I hope you all are having a good semester...

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 14:39:57 GMT

I haven't updated in 2 months...I am sorry about that.

What's been happening? Well....

As all of you know, I graduated. Now, I'm back home in Dayton. Life after graduation is weird. Very weird. Thus far, life has always come in convenient chunks: summer break, first semester, sophomore year, finals week. But upon graduating from college, it feels as though life lands with one jinormous last chunk: the rest of life until you die. So, I kind of freaked out. I thought, "Every decision I make today turns me into the person I will be! Therefore, everything I've wanted to be and wanted to see in my life must happen now!" That was overwhelming. Then, God reminded me that my life will play out according to His will. Right now, this is where I am supposed to be. All I can do right now is take the next step and see where He leads...

And about those next steps...first off, I had to find a summer job. After a month of calling every business within a 30 mile radius and pleading to God for anything I could get, I was hired by Elder-Beerman. That's right, if any of you need apparel for a middle-aged woman, you just let me know. Actually, the job is a blessing: A) because it's simply a job B) because the normal hours are 9 to 5 and C) because it beats working in food for the summer.

Secondly, I was accepted by the University of Dayton. The same day I was hired by EB, I got a call from UD's Counseling Dept. asking me to come in for an assistantship interview. For those of you who don't know, an assistantship with most grad schools requires you to work for the school (either teaching, doing research, or doing administrative work) and in return they cover most of your tuition and give you a stipend to live on. Well, long story short, a week after the interview UD called to offer me the position. I was thrilled and oh so thankful. This position will cover 15 credit hours tuition-wise a semester and provide roughly $200/week to live on. Unfortunately, 200 bucks a week won't be enough for me to live independently on for the first year or so; therefore it's looking like I might have to stick it out at home. Yes, that made me sad. Not because I hate my folks, but because I want my own place. I don't want my independence to decrease. However, my folks are incredibly cool with me and won't charge me rent or anything. And, as I said earlier, for right now, this is just where God has lead me...maybe I'm not ready for my own place just yet...who knows. Either way, He's been very good to me.

I just returned from the McKamey's Hometown Singing about 2 hours ago. I spent all of last weekend in the hills of Tennessee, clapping along with my beloved quartet. Yes, I was one of about nine people who were under the age of thirty; but nonetheless, it was a very good time. They sang most of my favorite songs and, with my undergrad years behind me, it was very moving to reflect on the times at Grace that God used those various songs to encourage, strengthen, or comfort me.

Well, I know this post is uber long and most of you probably stopped reading awhile back. To those who made it this far, I miss you. I've been reflecting on Grace a lot recently and many of you come to mind...for the laughs you gave me, the lessons you taught me, and the dirty looks you may have tossed my way every now and then. I love you guys.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 23:35:00 GMT

One of the most frustrating things in the world: to spend a half hour updating your Xanga, only for your computer to freeze when you hit "submit".

Yes, that happened to me. I have neither the energy nor the cleverness to re-write what I wrote. Was it the wittiest thing ever written by man? Arguably...Would my words have changed you at the most intimate core, down to the very way you breathe? I'd take a gamble...but alas, you'll instead have to make do with just a few pictures and my flighty comments about them...therefore, I present, a pictorial post:

Dick Van Dyke knew what he was doing in Mary Poppins...sidewalk chalk-paintings are friggin' cooooooooooo...

Mama Cass, (of The Mamas and Papas fame), was the coolest hippy ever to live. And California Dreamin' is probably the best song ever written. Now, I am in no way a supporter of narcotics. Crack is wack, yo. But man, did they lend themselves beautifully to some fantabulous song-writing.

"Aunt Em, Aunt Em, it's a twister!" This picture struck my fancy. When I was a kid, I was paralyzingly petrified of tornadoes. All it took was for me to see an oddly-shaped cloud and I'd lose it. One time, in kindergarten, my class was lined up outside and the wind started to blow really hard- (it was sunny out, mind you, but the wind was still coming in gusts). As I watched the trees bend in the wind, I started screaming, "Tornado! Tornado!" Mrs. Maloney, my teacher, ran to me: "Matthew, Matthew, stop it, calm down!" But it was tooo late. "Blughgghhhh..." I vomitted all over her.

On a lighter note: With the stress and worry that comes with this part of the year, I hope the last two pictures bring you a smidgen of joy...for if any of you know me, you understand that nothing warms my heart more than:

God's gift to mankind: puppies...

And sweet, little grandmas with food in their hands...

Monday, March 20, 2006

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 01:16:43 GMT

Today is the first day of spring...HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! We made it through the most depressing part of the year! Yes, we might still get some cold, nasty weather...but take heart!...the delicate, baby buds of this spring's flowers are on their way!

At approximately 12:30am this morning, my roommate and I both abandoned our homework for the safety and pleasure of early 1990s TV theme songs. Youtube.com is a treasure-cove of 42-second sound bites that will transport you back to a better time...when gym class = mat-ball and TGIF meant two solid hours of quality programming. How I miss those days.

Who's The Boss...Growing Pains...Family Matters...Reading Rainbow...Gimme a Break...Gummi Bears...Full House...Saved by the Bell...David the Gnome...

Thank you (* insert the name of the man who invented tv*)

Monday, March 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 23:08:08 GMT

My opinions on the Oscars, you ask?

Crash winning Best Picture was a joke. There were at least 5 or 6 other films that were infinitely better. Crash was good, don't get me wrong, but it didn't win because it was the best; it won because it was the underdog and the Academy felt like flexing their muscle and proving that they could vote for whatever they wanted. In other words, they were Brokebacked-out and pushed the little-movie-that-could instead.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman was deserving and the runaway favorite for actor. Reese Witherspoon triumphed over the evil Felicity and boy, did she look beautiful doing it.

Rachel Weisz was also deserving for supporting, though there were about 10 other women who were just as deserving: long live Catherine Keener! George Clooney was an absolute joke. His supporting Oscar was so blatantly an apology consolation for not winning Picture/Director, that I was embarrassed for the Academy. It should have gone to either Giamatti or Gyllenhaal.

Give it ten years or so, and Crash will be considered one of the biggest mistakes of the Oscars...kind of like The Greatest Show on Earth beating Singin' in the Rain and High Noon or Shakespeare in Love beating Saving Private Ryan.

At least now I don't have to throw a brick at Felicity's car...